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Step8

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^^ keep your head up sleaze ... this shit isn't easy.

 

i keep thinking about what i heard this one woman say in a meeting from the weekend ... she was probably 26-27, tall, nice enough, real attractive - remarking how she went to a work happy hour-type event, for the first time in a long time. she's been sober for 5-6 years and spoke on how she forgot what being hit on, or getting public attention in public felt like at all, that it was nice and she missed it. spends all her fridays in meetings, most saturdays.

 

fucking pity that people choose to live their life like that.

only seems like you swap one form of lonely misery for another

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Pro, you are wise. I'm hoping the new job will give me some kind of structure. I feel I have trouble being an adult almost all of the time.

 

eeh.

might give you structure but don't rely on it for anything else, like a feeling of contention.

i thought a job would do the same for me .. not the case.

 

also, being an adult isn't fun and doesn't come naturally for anyone i know in recovery, you're not alone. be yourself, it's a lot easier than trying to be an "adult"

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everyone in here seems to have been/be on the user/abuser side.

 

what about the support end of it?

 

how does one support an addict? i know its such a vague question and a very individualized topic...but maybe some of you can share a bit about the people in your life that supported you?

 

im trying to stand by the side of someone i care about. Thought i was dong the right thing...until relapse happened. recently. i see how others in their life talk down and almost write them for dead because of long time drug use-i see it doesnt help AT ALL.

 

what have people close to you done to support you and still be a part of your life now?

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The line between support and enabling is so thin that I think it is better to err on the side of less rather than more support.

 

The folks I used to do dope with were of high enough stature that they did not come around or offer to get me high when I made the decision to go sober. That was the helpful.

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Actual friends, eh? Don't find those much in this type of living...

 

Tapering off of klonopin, it helped when I needed it, now I don't need it anymore. Time to stop.

Marijuana intake reduced to nights only, to help with sleep and because I enjoy it.

Booze.... Still my weak spot, I can make it a couple days then I'm back off to the races.

 

Fake it till you make it? Maybe... Or just go ahead and make the decision and take the right action.

Im doing ok, not great, but better than last year at this time. Time for a meeting, first one in years.

 

Everybody, head up, chin up, one blood.

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i don't drink much during the week but yesterday was the start of an all day drinking binge with my bowling league starting. i put in a good 10hrs of drinking on sunday. then this afternoon i felt my heart start racing, i looked it up online and its holiday heart. my normal heart rate is usually around the low 40's but i checked with my heart rate monitor and it was up to 81. shit freaked me out. im not in bad shape or anything, im usually putting in 100-120 miles a week on the bike weather permitting, but i think the binge drinking days are pretty much numbered for me.

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Ive been having crazy panic attacks before work recently just due to stress. Have tried to cut out drinking but when I am stressed out it seems to help but obviously I know in the long run it doesn't

 

TDB been real helpful in helping me deal with my stress etc but I still can't help going on binges, I know why I do it just have to be more aware of myself so I don't constantly go on binges of rum.

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congrats ralphy, 6 years is fucking insane! impossible to imagine, really

 

no dope no pills been clean after a couple fuck ups in the last year

been doing coke but not regularly, being Careful ha ha ha

drinking every day

 

best thing has been working as much as possible, being busy all day and physically exhausted in the evening is the best prevention ive discovered so far

 

-cus

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All y'all deserve props for your effort. Seriously.

 

Decy, you're doing fine hon. Now I know what is stressing you deeply I can help with it. You're not alone. You know.

 

Ralphy - all the fuck yeahs man, xbillions.

 

For me - I like the tiny level of pissed when Im out that gives me The Game. I am hating the blackouts, and they are getting fewer and further between. I have also realised a lot of it is to do with tiredness tbf - even out on the last with mates it's a ccoyple cans at home, couple cans out, wiped out from uni so home by 1 after food. Getting slowly better. This new place, my own flat... allof it helping. Art kicking off. All good. Not letting that slide and with every good thing that happens it gets easier to drink less and be myself more.

 

Big binge last week tho, to cope with emotions. Big thing happened, I handled, it was not good but not bad. It worked. Baby steps.

 

Gotta stop hiding from this thread when I think I failed.

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hey homies,

 

long time no talk. been doing great, just finished another work year (6 months) and life has slowed down for me considerably. drank once in the last 3 months. sorta terrified that if i let myself get into the more regular routine of drinking, ill end up back at square one.

 

met the love of my life (WITHOUT BEING DRUNK) and she has helped me out unbelievably. i cant lie, i was blown away by how attractive (inside and out) this girl was and immediately realized that my past lifestyle would be a huge turnoff for her. she reminded me that there was only merit in me quitting for ME, not for her, and im grateful for that. shits been a blessing and its refreshing to be consuming my time doing positive sober activities that i had thought id outgrown or was no longer interested in.

 

have i lost some people over these last few months trying to get sober? absolutely. started to realize that alot of the "friends" i had been hanging around were moreso drinking partners than solid companions. i still care for most of these people, just dont care to be around them regularly. it sucks, but at the end of the day i need to do me. look out for number one ya know?

 

does SM still post in here? i know this forum has hit a bit of a bumpy road as of late, but she helped me out alot with positive pms and such, just wanted to say thanks. i know she checks (or used to check) this thread alot. i appreciate each and every one of you who sent kind words and encouragement when i was in a rough spot a year ago. my life has gotten alot better and id like to pay it forward.

 

thank you very much guys and girls, i honestly feel like you all played a huge role in opening my eyes to my situation and i feel blessed that i could come onto this thread and express how low i was feeling and get advice.

 

i still have a long way to go.

but i can breathe now.

 

-sW

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The line between support and enabling is so thin that I think it is better to err on the side of less rather than more support.

 

 

Actual friends, eh? Don't find those much in this type of living...

 

growing up around addicts, i would like to think i know the line between enabling and supporting.

 

this one particular, I know we are actual friends-have been supportive through many aspects. distance, i would like to believe, keeps me from being an enabler, so support is all i can offer. communications have been cut from hours a day of talking/texting....and very open and honest about wanting to use/and slipping.

 

now my friend has completely relapsed and communication has dwindled down to a few words of texts a day. there are moments I wanna blow up the phone in hopes of them picking up just to hear it in their voice, whether they are high or not.....but im afraid the constant buggin will drive them further...

on the other hand...what if they dont think i care enough to check up on the nurga?

 

just at a loss. whinin like a biotch. but just want to do the right thing.

 

 

 

Congrats ralph-hope that keeps motivating others.

 

sW= keep pushin man. as long as your sobriety is for you.

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