hotsauceinthedickholewastaken Posted December 4, 2010 Share Posted December 4, 2010 i cant keep my hand off shit that doesn't belong to me................. sound track of my teenage and now adulthood years Thirstin Howl III & Rack Lo - John They're Stealing (Part 1 & 2) that 5finger discount bug will be passed down to the next generation Love that tune. Propped. I make fart noises constantly when I walk by people at work. I'm 33. I need to grow up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inappropriate_Responder Posted December 4, 2010 Share Posted December 4, 2010 Love that tune. Propped. I make fart noises constantly when I walk by people at work. I'm 33. I need to grow up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted December 5, 2010 Author Share Posted December 5, 2010 I watched a guy flip his shit in a drive thru line up at a coffee chain. Dude slams his car in reverse super melodramatic and guns his car. He fucked up big time and some how reversed directly into the massive sign out front.......knocking it over and smashing it into pieces in the parking lot.His car was stuck on the pole wheels off the ground by an easy 4 feet. I am a first responder trained first aid dork because of my job. In the manual they claim you HAVE to help people. This fucking moron falls out of his car and is talking about his back etc and I'm standing right there like feet away from this whole thing I was waiting to cross over the drive thru and go to my car. I started to laugh sooooooooooo fucking hard that I had to take a knee and was crying, the only thing I could even muster up out of my mouth was "you fucking idiot".Ace's high was there laughing at me laughing at this guy lying on the ground with his wrecked whip perched in the air that he thought people were going to kill me. After a good 5 min laugh I walk to the whip jump in dudes upright and throwing mean mugs as were driving by,I'm still laughing a bit and roll down the window and start to laugh even harder and scream "you can't park there"....again exploding into laughter. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorenzo lovegun Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 theres this group of kids in my complex that are ages 8-12 i would guess that i call the lord of the flies kids because these kids just wreck shit all day and ive never seen any of there parents tell them to shut up so i can only assume theyre all orphens. so the other day im trying to smoke a bowl on my day off in peace and quite and these little bastards are yelling and screaming and telling eachother to suck their dicks and calling eachother mother fuckers and what not and this was on a weekday in the middle of the god damn afternoon so i dont know why they werent in school. so i look out to see what these assholes are up to and their little ring leader has two of them wrestling on the ground while hes kicking them telling them to get angry while the other cheer them on. so what do i do at the age of 30 with all the life lessons and maturity ive acquired??? i egged those little shits. guess who doesnt hang out by my apartment making noise all day anymore? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 you're claiming you're 30 years old and you can't spell worth a fuck?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorenzo lovegun Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 i dont think you came to this thread for the spelling so get over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inappropriate_Responder Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 you're claiming you're 30 years old and you can't spell worth a fuck?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 i bet that mother fucker's favourite flavour's window from lickin' them all day long on the fuckin' short bus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishCarBombs Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 i had this shitty job in college at a big name store, this dude and i started stealing our bosses lunches from the break room fridge and blaming this next man we hated. Then started switching shit from peoples lunches. Mostly our bosses though because they ate together and we'd hang out in the break room to see reactions. at my old job my supervisor decided to clean out the fridge. And throw out everything, including my fresh lunch. I decided for now on once a month when he brought lunch in I would throw his sandwhich and drink in the freezer for a couple hours. The look on his face was priceless the first time he pulled a frozen hero and water out of the fridge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mackfatsoe Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 hahaha frate is killing it...such an adult scumfuck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 Seriously...that last story had me in tears...pictured it perfectly /NewHampshire Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullshitTantrum Posted December 6, 2010 Share Posted December 6, 2010 One time a while back i prank called this metal nerd from my city pretending to be this other metal nerd from around here and left a message saying i was more heavy and more metal and i was going to kick his faggot ass. the kid got scared, turned the message over to the authorities, and eventually got the dude i posed over the phone as to go to court over the whole thing, since they had some arch nemesis shit going on for a while. Apparently they played the message in court, dude said he didn't remember leaving that message but since it sounded like him, he must have just been drunk and didn't remember. the ruling was that he couldn't call the kid for two years. hahahaha you weren't the only one apart of that call. history will then show an epic metal head fight for scene points that i egged on while tryin to get peoples attention, never told the truth till we were all drunk in a room full of people on acid in another town like 5 years later. his mind was blown. then i thought about what i did for fun back then and how its still valid fun now. patience. the most epic part is that my friend, the other nerd, the nerds ma, my friends ma and people and the state of ny all heard the phone call in court and everyone including him agreed it was him. but he was way more of a terrible adult than either of us.....i will try to remember and get back to this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IOU Posted December 6, 2010 Share Posted December 6, 2010 An old ex of mine had this real shitty roommate way back. The last night at the house they threw a party and the roommate wasn't there. So I went into dudes room and pissed in random spots, on the bed if I remember correctly. Took the guys toothbrush and scrubbed everyone's shoes with it, then pissed on it to remove some of the dirt. Broke some shit. Threw his crap all over the place. When him and his girlfriend finally came back he flips out and asked who did, even getting in my exes face. I told him it was me and told him to fuck off. Then somebody talked about the cops being called, so I found dude outside and told him that I knew where he worked and would fuck his life up if the cops showed up. He tried to be slick about where he worked, but got shook when I gave the address. Fuck him. Plus I told him he was paying for all the damages that I caused. My ex her deposit back and never heard from that douche bad and smelly ass bitch again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyWay Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Just got back from a 3 week road trip around the country. Pissed off the roof of a backpackers while screaming "LOOK AT ME". Mangina'd a LOT of people from various buses I was on, woke up my travel partners with the old mangina once or twice too but they did it back to me so all is even. Threw ice cream from my balcony at trannies. Getting heat from the cops I played the 'no espanol, soy un touristo' game and then when the cop asked how much beer I'd drank I said 'Beer, you gonna go buy me a beer?' in Spanish, he wasn't impressed G'eed a friend up to go kiss some annoying Dutch cunts at a restaurant who were staring at us, caught it on video too, so funny, they were pissed Stole a bottle of swish wine from some hotel tapas night and bombed their bathroom(something I don't usually do) Wiped my dick on an open bottle of wine owned by some Isrealites that were pissing everyone in the hostel off Told this flaming homo that my friend (full homphobe) was into him Farted on some South African bird and she went to bed and cried(felt kinda bad about that one) More as they come to mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 damn IOU you are unstoppable. :haha: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
putyouonblast Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/dpp/news/local/polk/pedophiles-guide-author-phillip-greaves-arrested-by-polk-detectives-122010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 last night I met my boys girl for the first time.She said she really liked my other friends cat and wanted to get one that her and homie live together.I got all weird and serious and told her I thought it was a bad idea because of the "incident". I told her that he got super wasted and passed out on his roommates cat and killed it. She sort of believed me but while I was mingling at the party I told all the guys that would know to play along. I even sent some texts to the former roommate and he thought it was awesome too. I'll report back 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 HOLY LULZ, BATMAN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xen Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 This dude i worked with would come right behind me and re-do everything i had just done, like he was somehow better at it than me. I would come right behind him and put shit back the exact way i had it. we both got laid off on the 20th so as i was grabbing my coat, i spit in his coffee, scratched my balls and grabbed his sandwich, grabbed his phone and random dialed, put it on the counter and split. wished him a merry christmas on the way out the door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 One of my homies got fired for coming into work drunk, and trashing the desk of another kid he couldn't stand, all while everyone watched in awkward silence haha. He was only like 16/17 so it's not really fit for this thread, but still hilarious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyWay Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 I hated this bitch at my one and only office job ever so once I stayed late and stapled heaps of her shit to her table. Fun, and even better after I quit some old fuck forgot she was in the office and locked her in the building on a Friday afternoon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted December 24, 2010 Author Share Posted December 24, 2010 I have slow brother in law that is reallllllly mean and shitty person. He's not retarded but not all there. He brings the paper home every friday. It's his method of smuggling in porno mags, he has the most insane collection of pornographic materials I've ever seen. I hate him, he's mean to everyone For christmas I think were getting him a subscription to the paper so its delivered to the house thus ruining his methods:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted December 31, 2010 Author Share Posted December 31, 2010 We didn't do the paper shit to my retarded bro inlaw. My non-retarded brother inlaw said it was boarder line mean and that the rest of the family would know what was up. SO My brother drives a black on black Escape with limo tints. He left it in the middle of my drive way like a dick on christmas eve. It had a thin layer of salt over it. So I drew a dick and wrote "merry fagmas" on his back window. I told him,we laughed. Next day he went to his wife's uncles house for her families shit. Her uncle asks him to have words out back the house. Her uncle is a very gay,very god loving man and wasn't having my brothers suv in the drive way with a wang on it. My brother is also a terrible adult and just starts laughing in his face and tells him to fucking cool it......then he calls me crying laughing telling me what happened! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyWay Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 We didn't do the paper shit to my retarded bro inlaw. My non-retarded brother inlaw said it was boarder line mean and that the rest of the family would know what was up. SO My brother drives a black on black Escape with limo tints. He left it in the middle of my drive way like a dick on christmas eve. It had a thin layer of salt over it. So I drew a dick and wrote "merry fagmas" on his back window. I told him,we laughed. Next day he went to his wife's uncles house for her families shit. Her uncle asks him to have words out back the house. Her uncle is a very gay,very god loving man and wasn't having my brothers suv in the drive way with a wang on it. My brother is also a terrible adult and just starts laughing in his face and tells him to fucking cool it......then he calls me crying laughing telling me what happened! Damn it Frate Raper, them last 2 had me fukn rolling. Please keep this thread alive. I just had surgery so I'm all fukd up now and can't go about my usual business being a fuckwitted manchild. I've hardly done fuck all since New Years actually. Help a brother out 12oontz community. I need to live vicariously through you for a min Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pay2learn138 Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pay2learn138 Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyWay Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 pay2learn, you have failed at life and this thread. I was more hoping for some goodness like this. http://www.crapgraffiti.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted February 7, 2011 Author Share Posted February 7, 2011 So I go to Ikea with my girl....I wanted to eat, she wants to buy "cute" shit. I ate,I wondered,I got lost in that fucking masse I felt like was circling the place.....so I grabbed some mini pencils and started to draw mini dicks every where to see if I was. I find my girl and shes like in a rush and wants to jet. She saw all these wangs every where and knew it was me and heard an employee freaking out about it. ALL CITY WANGS CREW!.....say it like the guy from city wok in south park Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 $5 meatball plates & 50¢ hotdogs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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