Drue_Down Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 fap? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
francis buxton Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Just set your house on fire and go to sleep. If you wake up to the family pulling you and your "hound" out of the flames, then your straight. If not, then you must not of deserved anything in the first place. selfish bastard. /internerd props on a relevant larry david reference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 I had a house burn down on my old block, and when I called it in I specifically didn't go see if anyone was inside because the only person that "lived" there was a dope fiend piece of shit who used to break into everyone's house all the time. I actually really hoped he was in there burning to death, but a minute or so later someone came along and did what you did and the house was empty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ginger Bread Man Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 as if the satisfaction in knowing you saved a life were not a sufficient reward? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HydrogenPeroxide Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 their fucking bank account didn't burn down, they better be busting you out a cheque. Not really. I wouldn't expect anything, but I'm sure you'll get a bundt cake or something for Christmas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazztechno Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 you called 911 that makes you a snitch thats some fucked up shit larry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HatoriHanzo Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smart Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 No good deed goes unpunished... you gonna get yours! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 thank you card? if there are any, ask for one of their daughters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 maybe from now on you just go there and ask to "borrow" their stuff. they might not gift you anything, but how could they say no to borrowing? start small. toaster... blender.... and always bring it back within a day or two. then go for it, ask to borrow their flat screen TV for Sunday's game. tell them you'll return it promptly after. then skip town... or just never return it (if done correctly, they won't know where you go with their TV) good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reuben Kinkaid Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 matriarch?! hound?! Thank goodness?! Where the fuck are you from? Hahaha.....awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smart Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 then go for it, ask to borrow their flat screen TV, AND DAUGHTER, for Sunday's game. tell them you'll return it promptly after. then skip town... Fixed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted October 17, 2009 Author Share Posted October 17, 2009 as if the satisfaction in knowing you saved a life were not a sufficient reward? Lives. You're right, though. Besides, I think I got a pre-emptive reward from the gods by scoring a no strings attached threesome earlier this week. I've been on a roll since I decided to go to school. And that is how people talk in Toronto. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RHDS Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 it's the queen's english, bitches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I think I would take that over wigger slang. Sometimes you should do the right thing (especially when people's lives are at risk) without expecting anything in return. How would you feel if you flipped your car, someone saw the whole thing happen and was standing there with a cell phone about to call 911...then they hit you with something like "You know, this is an eight dollar call..and what are you gonna do with your sound system now that your car's totaled? Give me that and we're square." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GnomeToys Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I think I would take that over wigger slang. Sometimes you should do the right thing (especially when people's lives are at risk) without expecting anything in return. How would you feel if you flipped your car, someone saw the whole thing happen and was standing there with a cell phone about to call 911...then they hit you with something like "You know, this is an eight dollar call..and what are you gonna do with your sound system now that your car's totaled? Give me that and we're square." I'd rather give them my sound system than the 400 pound meth addict running the junk yard who's going to steal everything of value and act like it wasn't there anyway. Then again, I'd rather keep it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 There was a huge fire on my street the other day that I called into 911 emergency. I rang on the doorbell and slammed on the door until the matriarch awoke, then hurried in to ensure the whole family made it out safely. I even tracked down their hound and carried him out. Within minutes, the fire became outright deadly, but the fire trucks (nine altogether) began to arrive. Thank goodness I had a midnight alcohol jones and noticed the fire when I was getting into my car! My question is, should I be expecting a gift box at some point? Or does the family have enough to deal with? Bitch owes you a blowjob. Was she milf status? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I'd rather give them my sound system than the 400 pound meth addict running the junk yard who's going to steal everything of value and act like it wasn't there anyway. Then again, I'd rather keep it. I was talking about propriety, but okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 do they have a fit daughter? maybe they should give you her virginity, that would be better than a thank you card ^Or that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 If you wake up to the family pulling you and your "hound" out of the flames matriarch?! hound?! Thank goodness?! Where the fuck are you from? Is their some new name for hounds that I'm not hip to? And who the fuck is Larry David? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wisetuxedo Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 my only question is did you start the fire to get a thank you card? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GucciCondom Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 I'd expect a very well written card that expresses their extreme gratitude for my acts. Anything beyond that, karma has covered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I never said I was cool. Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 well, there is no unselfish good deed if you expect something in return. and according to some philosophies, if you saved those people's lives you are now responsible for them for the rest of their time on earth, so i'd say just shirk that and call it even besides, you have an incredibly great story about how awesome you are to impress ladies with now, that should be thanks enough lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 and srsly thinking 'nega prop' to a certain someone for not knowing who larry david is. only the funniest fuckin curmudgeon to EVER eat an eclair out of a garbage can! wonk fckn saggin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauler5150 Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 Yeah I think that is definitely nega-prop material, especially with all his mentions in the other thread that is going around at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hj-bj-combo Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 Ask them if you can pick through the rubble for valuables. hahaha best answer ever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 WHO'S LARRY DAVID!?!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted October 18, 2009 Author Share Posted October 18, 2009 WHERE THE HECK IS MY WILD ORCHID CREAM FROM BATH & BODY WORKS? I told this story to a girl and she got 'bout it, but I already hit that once before so I don't know how much that counts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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