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Not To Be a Larry David, But...


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I had a house burn down on my old block, and when I called it in I specifically didn't go see if anyone was inside because the only person that "lived" there was a dope fiend piece of shit who used to break into everyone's house all the time.

 

I actually really hoped he was in there burning to death, but a minute or so later someone came along and did what you did and the house was empty

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maybe from now on you just go there and ask to "borrow" their stuff.

 

they might not gift you anything, but how could they say no to borrowing? start small. toaster... blender.... and always bring it back within a day or two.

 

then go for it, ask to borrow their flat screen TV for Sunday's game. tell them you'll return it promptly after.

 

then skip town... or just never return it (if done correctly, they won't know where you go with their TV)

 

 

 

good luck!

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as if the satisfaction in knowing you saved a life were not a sufficient reward?

 

Lives.

 

You're right, though. Besides, I think I got a pre-emptive reward from the gods by scoring a no strings attached threesome earlier this week.

 

I've been on a roll since I decided to go to school.

 

And that is how people talk in Toronto. :)

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I think I would take that over wigger slang.

 

Sometimes you should do the right thing (especially when people's lives are at risk) without expecting anything in return. How would you feel if you flipped your car, someone saw the whole thing happen and was standing there with a cell phone about to call 911...then they hit you with something like "You know, this is an eight dollar call..and what are you gonna do with your sound system now that your car's totaled? Give me that and we're square."

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I think I would take that over wigger slang.

 

Sometimes you should do the right thing (especially when people's lives are at risk) without expecting anything in return. How would you feel if you flipped your car, someone saw the whole thing happen and was standing there with a cell phone about to call 911...then they hit you with something like "You know, this is an eight dollar call..and what are you gonna do with your sound system now that your car's totaled? Give me that and we're square."

 

 

I'd rather give them my sound system than the 400 pound meth addict running the junk yard who's going to steal everything of value and act like it wasn't there anyway.

 

Then again, I'd rather keep it.

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There was a huge fire on my street the other day that I called into 911 emergency.

 

I rang on the doorbell and slammed on the door until the matriarch awoke, then hurried in to ensure the whole family made it out safely. I even tracked down their hound and carried him out.

 

Within minutes, the fire became outright deadly, but the fire trucks (nine altogether) began to arrive.

 

Thank goodness I had a midnight alcohol jones and noticed the fire when I was getting into my car!

 

My question is, should I be expecting a gift box at some point? Or does the family have enough to deal with?

 

 

 

Bitch owes you a blowjob. Was she milf status?

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I'd rather give them my sound system than the 400 pound meth addict running the junk yard who's going to steal everything of value and act like it wasn't there anyway.

 

Then again, I'd rather keep it.

 

 

I was talking about propriety, but okay.

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well, there is no unselfish good deed if you expect something in return.

 

and according to some philosophies, if you saved those people's lives you are now responsible for them for the rest of their time on earth, so i'd say just shirk that and call it even

 

besides, you have an incredibly great story about how awesome you are to impress ladies with now, that should be thanks enough lol

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