c-walk Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 i was way ahead of you guys... on another note, i spend far too much time in this thread, its way amusing to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Sometimes when I am mad at my mom and she asks me to make her a sandwich or something, I run my finger down my ass crack before I make her sandwich. ^This also calls for negative props. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 You don't know my mom. She brings out the beast in the best of people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tipsycripsy420 Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 ok good because i was going to say that is really low but i now understand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 She tells me that if I would have been a boy, she would have aborted me. And that I am not the person she wishes I was. And nothing I do is ever the right thing or ever good enough. Now is the time when people say I should have been a boy. And been aborted. Thus, saving you all from my obnoxious presence on your precious board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-walk Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 i wouldnt do it to my mom but for sure my dad... dude is a fucking retard, then again i never see him so the opportunity to give him a duck butter sammich is rare Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Your mom sounds pretty average. Minus the whole abortion thing. That is some wack ass shit to say to your kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tipsycripsy420 Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 She tells me that if I would have been a boy, she would have aborted me. And that I am not the person she wishes I was. And nothing I do is ever the right thing or ever good enough. Now is the time when people say I should have been a boy. And been aborted. Thus, saving you all from my obnoxious presence on your precious board. thats pretty weak and really low i would also rub my gooch on her sandwich meat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 She has said even worse things. I just don't want to put them out here for all to read. Because contrary to popular belief, I do have feelings. And I do like to keep certain aspects of my life private. I am not a mean person (anymore) People actually tell me quite often how sweet I am. I don't do things just to be spiteful. Everything is done with just cause. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoneTWS Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 embarassing : on more than one occasion i couldnt keep an erection because i was too nervous Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GOLA Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 embarassing : on more than one occasion i couldnt keep an erection because i was too nervous that isn't too embarressing just add that is was with a guy then it because bonifed embarrasing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtydoses Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 :huh: when i jerk off, i rarely play an actual sex scenario in my head. i usually think about weird shit, like getting a photo taken with said girl, while on a nice vacation. or possibly eating dinner, or a conversation i had in the hallway with said girl. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 When I do the aforementioned act, I think about things I have said on 12oz. And beer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClueTwo Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I bought a PSP solely for the purpose of playing games while I'm on the shitter... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CELT Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 That's called function . :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClueTwo Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I'm with that.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaintSmith Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 embarassing : on more than one occasion i couldnt keep an erection because i was too nervous Not gonna front, on a few occasions, I've cummed waaaay to early. Once I came mad quick and my girl dead ass told me "That's it?" Crazy embarrassing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bojangles Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I pick my nose waaaaay too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shitting Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Not gonna front, on a few occasions, I've cummed waaaay to early. Once I came mad quick and my girl dead ass told me "That's it?" Crazy embarrassing That's not embarrassing. it's called 'getting your rocks off'. nah, but eriously, no one bones for an hour erry time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-walk Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 keeping with the sex theme i had a girl tell me she was a lesbian halfway through. i think i threw this one out there before and got ragged on pretty hard for it but its whatever, i still finished Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishCarBombs Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 i have beer shits right now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaintSmith Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 keeping with the sex theme i had a girl tell me she was a lesbian halfway through. i think i threw this one out there before and got ragged on pretty hard for it but its whatever, i still finished she said straight up lesbian? Not bi? Cuz if it was bi, that'd be awesome for threesome...Lesbian thing not so much =/ Another embarrasing thing relating to sex. The first time I ever had sex I didn't use a condom. And right when I felt like I had to cum, i pushed her off, but as soon as I did, I just busted my load all over her bed (I mean on some firehose status). I go to the bathroom and come back to see her naked on her knees cleanin up my kids with some paper towels... Another story, but not so embarrassing. Same girl, and we were fuckin normally, till half way through she totally queefing. I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably cuz it kinda came out of nowhere and it was my first time ever hearin it... Don't think I have more embarrassing sex stories =/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiepippenhaircut Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 i like to make little race cars out of my poop............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel Dumielle Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 How in the fuck you do that?^^^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*PROTOCOL* Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 keeping with the sex theme i had a girl tell me she was a lesbian halfway through. i think i threw this one out there before and got ragged on pretty hard for it but its whatever, i still finished Right after she said this you should have punched her in the forehead and said "pwned!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 I had sex with one of my brother's good friends. In the bathroom at a bar. While my brother's band was playing. Then I punched a dude in a wheelchair with no legs. And broke some pint glasses. Then had sex with the dude from the bathroom again. On the hood of a random person's car. That was parked in the alley behind the bar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrChupacabra Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 I inhaled whiskey the other night after my friend said something that made me laugh while i was taking a sip, then proceeded to spray it out of my nose and cough so hard that i threw up on myself. Embarassing or awesome? i'm not really sure Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deloner Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 That would be hilarious, so im gonna say Awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poesia [ ] T Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 I dated a Scientoligist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Miller Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 while walking around late at night with my girl i felt a bad rumbling in my stomach. it resulted in a minor shart in the boxers she let me borrow. they were pink floyd boxers at that. i felt bad for soiling her bedtime attire and my love for pink floyd. while walking back to my car i get an even worse rumble. this one however, causes me to drop trou in front of her and take the meanest wettest shit on the sidewalk outside of a christian church. with my bad case of mudbutt, she drove my car back to her place while i layed in the backseat on my stomach, so as to not get any more shit on myself. we get to her place and i hop in the shower. she helps scrub me off. i owe her one, haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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