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Dear ________,


suca

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Dear Sizes,

 

Feel better homegirl. Wishing you much better health ASAP. Hate to see you suffer. You're good people, and the worst shit always happens to the good ones. Meanwhile jerks get all the luck.

 

Dear best friends,

 

Psyched for your visit, and stoked to see my favorite dog!

 

Dear Roommate,

 

Blasting Marilyn Manson? Really? Are you a 14 year old goth chick? Go back to the mall.

 

Dear Cover Letters,

 

You are the worst ever to write. just the worst.

 

Dear New Crush,

 

Thanks for showing up and giving my brain a place to daydream, it's a nice break from reality. Crushes also make me feel young again, I love not feeling my age, but then again I never really grew up. I'm still gonna go with word up on that.

 

dear oontzers,

 

have a good weekend dudes and dudettes!

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  • 2 weeks later...
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

dear calf muscle,

 

i tore you playing basketball, then had to work 10 out of 11 days in a row on my feet and could not rest you. the next day your friend ankle swelled up to the size of a softball...3 days later ankle and other friend, foot, became bruised a dark black and purple color....a week later your friend shin began hurting...a week and a half later you began hurting again...and now ..2 weeks later..the pain is behind the knee...is that your friend tendon???

 

i hope you heal on your own pretty fast since i dont have health insurance.

 

-cG

 

p.s. shout outs to webmd and wikihow for being me doctor the last 2 weeks.

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