4thefence Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 Just kidding.... as far as you know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunm Posted October 24, 2006 Author Share Posted October 24, 2006 he told us it was rudolph that he killed and xmas wasn't going to come this year. We cried, and my grandma got mad at him. wow :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishCarBombs Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 if i touch my wee wee to much it will turn green my cousin told me that if i touch my wee wee too much that i would never grow pubes and then never get with any girls because of it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bokals.. Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 haha... wee wee... i say ding a ling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunm Posted October 24, 2006 Author Share Posted October 24, 2006 I was told by my grandfather monsters lived in the manholes under the city. Seeing movie posters for C.H.U.D. didn't help much. I stayed away from manholes for most of my childhood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4thefence Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 Me too!! I prefer womanholes to manholes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny ballbags Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 "You're such an asshole, I love you." Sorry, I'm not trying to get off topic. i hear this at least once a day from my girl too... when i was younger my extended family pretended to like me. my inside source (my cousin) would always tell me how much shit they'd talk about me when i wasn't around. and that they'd tell him not to turn out like me. :cool: same with me... ^^^ my mom used to tell me stories about what kind of scumbag my father was, but i never beleived her... then i met him when i was 18 or so... he had me conviced that he wasnt how everyone had explained him for a month or so and then he pulled some retarded shit ans showed his true colors... so i threw a brick at him point blank range a few times and he got some brain damage and my mom got to say "i told you so"... moms was never big on stories... she was more on the "because im your mother and what i say goes" tip... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 When my mom would beat me she would tell me, "this is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you." She was so full of shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
After School Special Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 My dad also told me the line that if you swallow seeds it will grow in your stomach. The people in toll booths have lizard tails, that's why they are in a booth. Grandpa would say that thunder was angels bowling. My brother told me that cops wear sunglasses because they don't have pupils. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Huxtable. Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4thefence Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 My mom tried to beat the shit out of me with a fluffy slipper. I was trying not to laugh when she realized what she was hitting me with. Every couple of years I buy year new slippers as a reminder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 When I was 11 or 12 and my mom thought she could make me stop smoking cigarettes, she duct taped my hand to the kitchen table and made me chain smoke a pack of cigarettes. With each drag, she would smack my hand with a wooden cooking spoon. About six or seven dudes I skated with were in my living room, watching on and laughing. It was cool until about cigarette seven when I started getting ill. Then I started crying. Then I vomited all over the kitchen floor. My friends laughed and laughed. I didn't think it was funny. And never bought my mom wooden kitchen spoons as a reminder. Instead I make her pay for my cigarettes now and every so often bring up what a failure she was at raising me right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunm Posted October 24, 2006 Author Share Posted October 24, 2006 ^^^ ::speechless:: in other news... Easter Bunny Santa Claus Tooth Fairey Leprachaun at the end of the rainbow Happy endings Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4thefence Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 ^^^^^ Happy endings exist. They just cost $50. extra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveboxcars Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 oh my parents told me when i turn 14 they'd buy me a ticket to see "the fatherland" that never happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WATTS Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 mom told me that if i drank hot coke i would get high. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tutleone Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 i was told that if i eat cereal at night, i couldnt eat it in the morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 ^^^^^ Happy endings exist. They just cost $50. extra wow....too much info. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Of Hell Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 "If you work hard, live a decent life, and be sincere, you will be sucessful." Apparently I was supposed to translate that into, step on people, lie my ass off, and treat everyone like a shitbag, because I took it literaly and those fuckers lied. I've been struggling to break even since day uno. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gump47 Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 My mom once told me that if i smoked weed I would die some day that day never came. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUR X3 Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Your mom was right. You will die one day. I promise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tops_One Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 wow thats deep eastbay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tops_One Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LIVERWURST* Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 When I was about 13 I was smoking in my room, apparently my dad smelled something burning. He yells up "are you smoking in your room" and I reply "no just burning paper" which he replies with "well if you're going to smoke, smoke outback". The next day I was outside with my friend smoking a cigarette and my dad was like "what the fuck are you doing?" I replied "you told me it was ok to smoke outback". Lying ass dad... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irobpeople Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 i used to think that if you drank beer you would grow a beard and that if i pooed in the bathroom i would get that batman costum well i never fucking got it those broke dick pigion eaters Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool Water Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 that scene in ace ventura when he returns her puppy "yeah shes just tiggling his legs" or any sex scene in a film "yeah there just play fighting" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MitchThe$nitch Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 my mom would always tell me to stick out my tongue if she thought i was lieing. she said it would be green if i was. so i would stick it out and then she would make the call. i can't believe i fell for that shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunm Posted October 25, 2006 Author Share Posted October 25, 2006 ^^^ ah ha! but you did! HA! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeRVe54 Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Nice try!!! Courts don't give "Criminally Insane" hospital stays to minors. Even if you were 18 when they sent you, you would have had to serve your full sentence. They don't give "good time" to nutbags. SOOOOO, what color was the dirt bike you found in the garage. i wasnt a minor jack. i was 17, doing my first >COUNTY BID< and i dont recall mentioning any good time Or not serving my sentence. anyway, im not gonna argue with you dood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty_habiT Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 wow :( Haha, no... it was cool... I actually think it's really funny now that I look back on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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