Gunm Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 My mom told me that if i held my pee in too long, it would turn to glass inside my body and come out in shards hence the need to go to the "potty" when i felt the need. Dad told me the one about swallowing seeds of any fruit and that it would grow inside my stomach Grandma gave me the time honored cliche' of "if you don't eat that food, there's children in China that will starve!" (yeah, as if they weren't starving already. I got in trouble for telling her once to box it up and ship it to China f she was so concerned) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveboxcars Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 for the longest time i thought yellow lights meant "go faster" no one really told me a lie about it, i just went with what my dad did every time there was a yellow light actually im pretty sure that's basically it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pornbooth Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 i was told gyros contained horse meat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 my parents used to tell me "people won't always be like this" meaning immature assholes who backstabbed you and gossiped about lies. wrong. it gets worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny ballbags Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 your mom told me that if i didnt pee in her butt it would turn to glass etc, etc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*PROTOCOL* Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 My mom told me the steam from the street grates was coming fro dragons and monsters in the sewers. My grandma always told me to shut the door behind me because "theres drafts outside trying to come in" but I always thought she was saying "giraffes outside" and the thought of a bunch of giraffes standing around outside trying to get in scared the hell out of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
horse cock Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 my mom told me that god exists.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.Big Pants Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 If I watch too much television my eyes will turninto squares or something like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bokals.. Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 "go to sleep, for santa claus wont bring you any presents if your awake" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuse=--action Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 My mom told me that if i held my pee in too long, it would turn to glass inside my body and come out in shards hence the need to go to the "potty" when i felt the need. hahahaha, I've never even heard that one. There was the time honored "If you keep making that face, it's going to freeze like that." "Drugs are bad" (Alright, they were a lot of fun for a while, but I'm done with that shit now) "If you don't stop playing video games your eyes are going to go bad" Yeah, my parents didn't lie too much that I can remember. Me on the other hand.... -fuse. p.s. I'm not implying that I have children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Me @ 10 years old, "dad I was a mistake wasnt I" my dad "what no what are you talking about"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 hahaha^^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asitseems Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 my parents told me i could be president... fucking liars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SayOne Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 I remember when i was little my mom would say that I should never stick my hand out of the window of a moving car not becuase of limb loss but because people will grab and kidnap me..LOL She was right that one time...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dixie Dude Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 jews have horns hidden under those little hats Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord_casek Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 -there's more fish in the sea. -you can be anything you want to be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
upup&away Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 if i touch my wee wee to much it will turn green Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
En Sabah Nur Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 i also went to grade school in independence, mo. where they don't teach you that truman dropped the bomb, because he's from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InDY_500 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Mom told me steam comin from sewers were from prison's laundry machines and if I ever broke the law I would be done there with them.. haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famecrazy Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 if i touch my wee wee to much it will turn green They told me it would fall off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
me Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 my mom told me that god exists.... haha Thats a good one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeakSauce Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 my mom told me that god exists.... yep. and mine used to tell me that the white marks under your fingernail meant you had told a lie, all in an atempt to get me to tell her what i lied about. she was sneaky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smart Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 "If you keep that up you'll go blind!" my reply: "Can I just do it until I need glasses?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seven.13 Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 My dad told me that all the hookers in our neighborhood were just "ladies who were waiting for the bus". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 -my uncle said that mannequins were actual people that they had dipped into boiling water. -my older cousin said eating too much ketchup will give you aids -when i was bad, my mom would lock me in the room with a big window that faces the neighbors yard (the neighbor who would always be out gardening with sharp ass tools) and tell me that the neighbor kills people for fun and that if i continue being bad, he will come and kill me....she called him Mr. Jones.....a few years later, when i got older, i found out that wasnt even the guys real name! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digerati Ingresser Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 The stork brought you to us, honey. Touch that thing again, I will chop it off (that scared the shit out of me) but still didnt stop me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smart Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 Touch that thing again, I will chop it off (that scared the shit out of me) but still didnt stop me I need something like this for my nephew... he's only 5 but HOLY CRAPPP! I probably tell him 50 times a night to get his hand out of his pants... .5 seconds later it's right back in there... Even when I'm trying to yell at him over something else it degenerates into his hand in his pants... And I don't really blame him but he just WON'T learn that it's not cool to fondle yourself while someone is yelling at you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WrIot Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 that giraffe shit.....i cried laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tops_One Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 my mom told me that she could see a rainbow on my forehead when i told a lie... so i would run up to her with my hand over my forehead and she knew when i was lying... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
screaming hand logo Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 everytime i masterbate a kitten dies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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