GLIK$ Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 HOW TO TREAT A LADY 1. When she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes and girls love that. 2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (Or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.) 3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up. 4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say you better be. Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care. 5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement and every girl needs some improvement. 6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies. 7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "fuck you" and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition. 8. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames. 9. Warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... Then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear. 10. Take her to a party. When you get there shell have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party. 11. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls? 12. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be. 13. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way shell go crazy. 14. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about. 15. Titty twisters and plenty of them. 16. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious. 17. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get. 18. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny. 19. If shes mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now shell be really excited. Now don't call. 20. Next time you are having sex, make sure you get off before she does, then get off her and leave. Girls love that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flavicon Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 16. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious. :lol2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psm026 Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 Im all for #9 9. Warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... Then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOE-LESTER Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 hahaha good shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spruce Lee Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 18. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny. haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GLIK$ Posted June 3, 2006 Author Share Posted June 3, 2006 "6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies." Best one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oliver Clothesoff Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 very good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flavicon Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 anybody come up with a good one for #21? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livetodestro Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 anybody come up with a good one for #21? Donkey-punches. Women love a man who's strong in bed.:beat: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swedish erotica Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 best thread of june. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flavicon Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 #21. Women love a man with an imagination. When she asks you what you're thinking, immediately say "roto rooting dat culo!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smart Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 not that it ever worked for me but... one time this guy said, if you end up in one of those akward situations where you sleep with a girl but with your clothes on, if you stay awake and then jerk off on her face then in the morning she'll be your girlfriend... this only worked like 7 out of 20 times I tried it but MAYBE i DID IT WRONG... oops, sorry abot the caps lock... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
^ . ^ Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 buncha casanovas :heartbeat: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayabusa Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 hahahaha #1 is wicked, among many ive used it a few times. it back fires tho. When u say could be better, some broads go on for hours raving about how they couldnt get their hair right that morning, or how they think theyr fat and shit:shakehead: be careful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shitting Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 #22. When she asks if you know her birthday, tell her you'll just need about 365 guesses. :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AORAone Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 brilliant, absolutly brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guerillaeye Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 #23: When she asks if shes the best youve ever had, laugh and say no (even if she is). Then proceed to tell her about what so-and-so did and let you do. It gives her a goal to strive for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny ballbags Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 #18... FUCKING AWESOME.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crispy Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 15. Titty twisters and plenty of them. that is a great idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest R@ndomH3ro Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 I need a girl with "plow" experiance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 HAHAHA. Im gonna do 4 tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Jefe Uno Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 hahahah i cant pick a favorite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felix_the_Cat Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 freakin hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_nightcrawler Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 hahhaha mad thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerm4 Posted June 4, 2006 Share Posted June 4, 2006 17. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get. Gold! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Huxtable. Posted June 4, 2006 Share Posted June 4, 2006 IVE OFTEN HAD VISIONS OF LYING DOWN ON MY BACK, AND THEN A WOMAN SITTING HER BUTTOCKS OVER MY FACE, WITH HER ASSHOLE PRESSED INTO MY MOUTH, AND THEN HER RELEASING A FART INTO MY MOUTH, TRAVELING DOWN MY BODY AND OUTSIDE OF MY OWN ASSHOLE. IT WOULD BE LIKE ME FARTING OUT HER FART. TRUE STORY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy Jump Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soulkillers Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 IVE OFTEN HAD VISIONS OF LYING DOWN ON MY BACK, AND THEN A WOMAN SITTING HER BUTTOCKS OVER MY FACE, WITH HER ASSHOLE PRESSED INTO MY MOUTH, AND THEN HER RELEASING A FART INTO MY MOUTH, TRAVELING DOWN MY BODY AND OUTSIDE OF MY OWN ASSHOLE. IT WOULD BE LIKE ME FARTING OUT HER FART. TRUE STORY. are paint chips a steady part of your diet or is it you just like applesauce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smart Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 not that it ever worked for me but... one time this guy said' date=' if you end up in one of those akward situations where you sleep with a girl but with your clothes on, if you stay awake and then jerk off on her face then in the morning she'll be your girlfriend... this only worked like 7 out of 20 times I tried it but MAYBE i DID IT WRONG... oops, sorry abot the caps lock...[/quote'] just sayin... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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