Swindle Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 gonna pick up a case tonight after work and go drink with the homies can't wait.. I've probably already been an alcoholic for awhile and either haven't realised it yet or just don't give a fuck lol didnt read any of the other posts in the thread did you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 got a sponsor tonight. he's a bit rough around the edges, but so am i at times. fucking excited beyond belief. he lives close by, his girl is in the program too. he's seen a lot. i'm sure i have a lot to learn from him. tonight's meeting was good. i like when the OGs address the younger folks with advice. some of it is so on point it's ridiculous. props if you work with a sponsor your chance to succeed is far greater i can tell by your more recent posts that you want it, hoping the best for you poz btw if you ever got any questions about stuff regarding AA or you feel hesitant on things feel free to PM me homey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 thanks dude. you've definitely been a huge factor in pushing me toward the program. i know it's corny to let internet and real life mix, but i think this thread and topic as a whole is a big exception. as i said before, everything everyone has said in here is appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEFFREYDAHMER Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 I fucked up again, big time, so disappointed in my myself. I have also successfully knocked myself back into a position where when I stop ill be hella sick. Out of subs, no identification card to check into inpatient detox, this weeks gonna be hell. So fucking upset and stressed out right now. Never give up homies, this shit is a constant struggle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IRON CHEF Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 EXCERCISE TILL YOUR'E EXAUSTED. GET FOOD. WATCH GOOD TV/MOVIES. HOBBIES? DON'T ISOLATE YOURSELF. KEEP READING OTHERS OPINIONS. DON'T SHUT OUT YOUR FAMILY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crackalackin Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 I'm past 90 days clean, I rarely think about heroin anymore. But what's amazing is on Sunday night I got to be the speaker at a meeting and it was such an amazing experience getting to share how far I've come since the death of my best friend (even though when I got to that part in my story I choked up really bad and had to stop for a minute). And after the meeting a kid came up to me, said that what I said made him realize how important getting sober is and how important working a good program is. So now I have a fucking sponsee! It feels SO GOOD to get to pass the message on the way my sponsor did for me. This is such an amazing thing, much love to all my people saving their own lives and those of others. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
publicenemyno.3 Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 serious question: have any of you been involved in an intervention? a really good friend of mine has fallen off hard after his divorce. dude can't hold a job, has been homeless on and off and most recently lost the use of his left arm because he hit a nerve shooting up. i've let him crash at my place but it's hella hard to watch him deteriorate like this. when he's sober, he's one of the coolest and most talented motherfuckers i know. i want to help, but when i talk to him one on one, he just downplays what's going on despite how bad it's become. i think if he could see how his addiction has effected all of the people that care about him it might be a wake-up call to get the help he needs. maybe i'm wrong, who knows? any advice is appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 *crackalackin congrats bro, good to hear that* public... the only time i have ever seen pressure from others work to get people sober is when they are already willing to get sober and just need a push in the right direction. no doubt a serious sit down with your boy will help everyone to get on the same page, but don't get your hopes set on changing him overnight or even at all. sucks to say this, but letting him crash at your spot might actually be hurting him more than it helps....sometimes folks need to hit the bottom. good luck man, ill say a prayer for your buddy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
publicenemyno.3 Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 thanks ralphy, i appreciate that. we've had serious talks about what's happening but they just don't work. they seem to be a bit of a wake-up call, but if losing the function of your left arm, your job, wife and kids isn't bottom, i don't know what is. i know from experience that you have to want to change, but it's hard to sit back and wait until he's ready. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 I was around a dude that was on the show intervention before and while they were filming for it. My opinion of the guy before and during the filming was pretty negative and I thought he was too far gone to be helped (looking back on this, it was a pretty stupid outlook on my part). To my surprise, the intervention really helped bring out the core issues of his reasons for using, addressed them and helped him get clean. I know that is not a typical intervention but it has stuck with me how much it helped this particular person who I always thought of as a lost cause. Also, after a heavy night of drinking and sleeping in an office chair, I woke up with nerve damage in my right arm and lost all function. Nerve damage is crazy because their is no way to tell if or when you will regain function. It was a really scary experience but did not stop me from drinking more. I know that it is not exactly the same situation but I just want to reiterate that nerve damage is no joke. Supposedly, various vitamin B supplements help the nerves recover. My function finally returned after 3 long weeks, hopefully your friends returns soon. Bets of luck to him. I haven't had a drink since Sunday night but have been drinking NA beer. It has helped but I think it might be causing me to avoid getting over the compulsive behavior that is at the core of my problem. But I sure feel great in the morning and during the day with out having to make any pit-stops to any bars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 i nursed NA beers for a long time when i first got sober, it helped me from feeling issolated at bbqs or bars etc. public remember that our drinking and using is only a symptom of the issue, that is why to only address the symptom often does not help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IRON CHEF Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 CHEWING-TABACCO GOT ME THROUGH THE SHAKEY TIMES. CONGRADULATION TO EVERYONE FEELING SUCCESS! IT's AN ENDLESS PRIZE BY THE WAY. OUR SOBER WEEKEND IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER. LET's HEAR HOW SOME OF YOU COPE WITH MAKING PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 on a similar note i have had to pretty much had to cut off my own brother because of his continued drinking. he has a 5 yro he does not care for, my parents do. he has been sent twice to rehab, done the AA program (never doing the steps) and failed 6 times, been in jail, hospitals due to fighting while drunk, car repo, lost jobs etc... all this and he continues to drink. i had to tell him i can no longer be a part of his life while he is using, by helping him i am enabling him to not help himself. dont get it twisted, if he asks to go to a meeting or needs help getting in the right place i am there...but i will not take part otherwise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Teetas Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 I went/drove my mother to a couple meetings. Hearing some of their problems with alcohol made me think she didnt even need to be there. Although it was a good experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 why was she there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Teetas Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 before picking somebody up. she drank a bottle of wine, drove and got caught by the cops...which was dumb. lost her license anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ringworm Jim Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 I learned my lesson from my DUI. I still drink, just not as heavy and I'm more responsible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Been working with my sponsor, job-wise. shit is going well. another seasoned AA fella is helping out too. meetings pretty much every night, except for the past few because i've been falling asleep hella early. it's all pretty cool stuff. I've been reading the book slowly. because i'm always so worn out, the second i start reading, i get sleepy. it's obviously hitting home in a lot of ways, and while that is somewhat depressing when you think about it, it's also very liberating. regarding weekend plans, i generally relax. none of my friends are party animals, so i'm not getting dragged to much in the way of drinking events. I'll go to a bar with my boys and drink soda water with lime for the placebo effect. for the most part, i like doing shit by myself, so there isn't any pressure to drink. although, i admit, that was how i got myself in trouble this last time around, but between the program and most of my time being consumed by work, i feel a lot better about everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 keep doing that shit bro. my sponsee flaked out on a meeting today, after he agreed to go, after we talked about the importance of follow through. talked to my sponsor cuz i was umad.jpg and he basically said i was a fool for expecting anything else. truth. lowering my expectations and keeping at it....for me if anything. if he gets it great, but sponsoring someone is really another tool for me to stay sober. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Well, you pretty much e-sponsor all of us in this thread so...thanks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 why was she there? For the coffee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crackalackin Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Word to what LUGR said, Ralphy, you've been a great help. I'm really happy I found this thread. I started in on the book with my sponsee today, his story is so similar to mine and he's so much like me. He was talking to me today about how he knows that dope can kill him randomly, especially hearing my story about finding my friend's body, but for some reason he just can't stop using. I told him that's exactly how he's supposed to feel, it's called the first step. Honestly the kid is doing great. As for this weekend I'm just going to try to ignore the hype. Do some more work with my sponsee tomorrow, hit some meetings, going to a Dia De Los Muertos celebration in Oakland with some sober homies on Sunday then doing my H&I Sunday night. As for Monday shit I'm working all day, it'll be really all I can do to make it through my double shift and give little kids candy. Good luck to everyone this weekend though and remember to just keep working that program. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 today at the meeting i secretary this dude says, "wishes don't do dishes." basically its a program of action. I had a convo with my sponsee this morning...he basically didn't have his 4th step stuff ready to go. It all boiled down to that the program is boring to him...he likes the meetings but the work/reading is boring. No doubt, it is pretty boring....but I explained to him that is the addict in him, we want instant gratification. I told him lets give it another week with his work, buckle down and remember why you are doing this.....our will and choices brought us into the rooms. I talked to an OG about it...he said that sponsees are like babies at first and you cant expect anything, you feed them and help them grow, they become infants and can take a few steps on their own etc.....eventually they develop more into children and you dont have to watch over them nearly as much. Cheesy, but it really helped me understand it is not about my expectations, everyone will be different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crackalackin Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 I talked to an OG about it...he said that sponsees are like babies at first and you cant expect anything, you feed them and help them grow, they become infants and can take a few steps on their own etc.....eventually they develop more into children and you dont have to watch over them nearly as much. Cheesy, but it really helped me understand it is not about my expectations, everyone will be different. Wow that's a pretty kickass saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEFFREYDAHMER Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Im gonna give the milwaukee group a try. Everyone says its one of the better groups in the city and its only a few blocks from the crib. Went to one meeting there last year with the wifey and everyone seemed very nice and supportive. I think ill try to get my moms to go with me since shes in recovery too, since itll help with the social anxiety I get from being alone in groups of people im unfamiliar with. Good luck in all your roads to recovery folks. I gotta get myself right and keep it that way this time, and I cant do it alone. Everytime ive successfully kicked I always end up with that "i can just dabble on paydays" mentality that we all know quickly develops into another habit. Fuck that jack, its all or nothing and id prefer the latter. Pray for me fellas, ill return the favor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyMoney Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 I am drunk.....for no reason....again. I'll be on the Oontz again definitley this week, can some awesome person pls remind of this post via PM(hope Im not asking too much) and the fact I should check out a meeting or two at least. Thanks................... :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Im gonna give the milwaukee group a try. Everyone says its one of the better groups in the city and its only a few blocks from the crib. Went to one meeting there last year with the wifey and everyone seemed very nice and supportive. I think ill try to get my moms to go with me since shes in recovery too, since itll help with the social anxiety I get from being alone in groups of people im unfamiliar with. Good luck in all your roads to recovery folks. I gotta get myself right and keep it that way this time, and I cant do it alone. Everytime ive successfully kicked I always end up with that "i can just dabble on paydays" mentality that we all know quickly develops into another habit. Fuck that jack, its all or nothing and id prefer the latter. Pray for me fellas, ill return the favor. a little social anxiety > the alternative sounds like you got your train of thought headed in the right direction Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhMyGosh! Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Glad this thread has been more recovery related as of late. Ralphy...nice to see things seem to be going alright with you. Keep at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEFFREYDAHMER Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 What really fucked me up was not being able to go directly to inpatient detox when I was discharged from the hospital last month. I was still sick & couldnt be strong enough at home, alone. Called 211 last night and they confirmed that without an id card they cannot admit me. The guy on the phone said "well how much is heroin costing you". I told him "good point but you cant trade electronic appliances for state identification cards". A poor excuse but really I have paid cash of my own for dope in a minute. They have to understand that junkies usually just get a free bag to cop for someone else or run a pack for the dopeman. So the first goal, get id at dmv. After that ill qualify for detox. May be out for a few days, good luck to erryone, stay strong, focused and safe. Cheers (with a na beverage of course)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 the thing that sucks is that in cali, the dmv takes 4-6 weeks for your id to show up i lost mine last week Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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