El UNO Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Ive been in and out of this forum for awhile, I have long since stopped writing graffiti, but i still cant get it out of my system. Anyways, for anybody in this thread struggling to put some time together, I feel you. After 4 years of suboxone, and 1 rehab and detox, I am only now becoming comfortable with not drinking and drugging. Becoming a sober person after one try is nearly impossible. So dont beat yourself up if you relapse. Just dont give up. My main fix was pills, and then eventually I graduated to shooting dope about 5 years ago. I went on suboxone, and it saved my life. I still fucked around a little bit, but after time I finally got the hang of it. I still drink from time to time, but I shouldnt. I get a bad night, and it reminds how easily I can turn into a savage again. I joined the Army reserves about three years ago, and almost threw that all away on an annual training. I got black out drunk, and did some wild shit to piss a lot of people off. I've tried to get my old best friend sober, but he is too impatient now to do it. He doesnt understand its a process. I just hope he doesnt die from this shit. For me now, unfortunately I need to get off of suboxone, but its hard as hell. Its better than doing dope though for now. Hang in there guys who are struggling. Some of those AA sayings seem corny, but just take it one day at a time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Thanks sayWORD?, I was nervous going into it but what can you do? Not hang out with anybody? Nope. I still had fun and it was nice to have a clear head instead of focusing on drinking as much as I possibly can. It did feel really good on the way home knowing that I was able to enjoy myself with out the drank. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I don't have an alcohol problem that I know of so I don't really know why I lurk this thread, but major credit due to POZ and LUGR...also fat ralphy and IRON CHEF for "moderating" this thread...good luck to everyone. Now back to my regularly scheduled rude and sarcastic humor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter_Milkshake Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Anyone ever notice that the Alcoholism thread is always directly above or below the beer thread? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 ^^^hahaha it is hard to live with someone who can drink regularly, my wife sometimes has a few, probably sometimes more then she should....but she is not an alcoholic it is hard to watch her drink a bottle of wine and it sometimes makes me want to drink. i told her about it the other night, basically said look, i do not mind if you drink...but when you drink a little to excess it is hard for me to watch without craving. good to hear you made it through the fight LUGR, believe me the NA's saved my ass a ton of times. take it easy folks.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IRON CHEF Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I'D NEVER BE ABLE TO BE WITH A CHICK THAT DRINKS ON ANY LEVAL. CONTINUING SUPPORT ON THAT ONE BRO- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 yeah, good luck finding a female that doesn't drink.... if i had never been with her before I would probably try and find a broad in the program, but my wife has been around since day one. there is a part in the big book that makes me think about her a lot, pg. 81 "A man so involved often feels very remorseful at times, especially if he is married to a loyal and courageous girl who has literally gone through hell for him." Her drinking to the point where I feel uncomfortable happens rarely, but it does bother me, so I told her.....she is the type of woman that will make sure to put my sobriety first. Which is sad in a way because it shows that she remembers how bad it was for all of us when I was drinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I know this is only my first day being a soberfag but I'm actually pretty confident this time will work the only reason I failed so hard before was a pint of jim beam on my shelf that tempted me. I'm sure there will be a lot more times in the future I come across some booze, but I feel like I can turn it down now that I have some motivation coming from myself to actually chill out with it. I'm going cold turkey, which is the only way for me, just like cigs. I'm going to rant in here for a while, sorry dudes, TEXT TEXT TEXT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 that is what this shit is here for .... being a "soberfag" isn't easy. haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
binge&purge Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 El UNO how is the withdrawal from subs after using them that long. this is probably my 4th or 5th time trying to get sober from dope and ive been on subs before but i always fucked around on em and went back to dope or roxies. but now i been clean from dope for a couple of months and wondering how long i should stay on suboxone for. i was planning for at least a full year or until i feel strong enough. any advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 In my never humble opinion you are just changing out one dope man for the other. I know a dude that has been on methadone since before I was born for example. I would turn and face the withdrawal, it will make you more confident for having done so. Too close to the fire are you if you continue to taper. 0.02 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 So I'm on day 3, this is kind of a big deal as the longest I've gone sober was close to a week. I'm going to hit this party tonight my buddy is throwing, he owns a liquor store and it's going to be at this deli next door. He's going to offer me a shot as soon as I walk in and I'm going to say no. I'm positive I won't be tempted, I like not being hung over every day waiting for night to fall so I can buy a liter. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lick'n'run Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 we all die one day tho right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 some sooner then others^^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyMoney Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I just wanna say a big thank you to Fat Ralphy for a reminder that I am not alone. \Thank you sir! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Tonight I tasted wine and spit it out. Probably the first time I've ever done that in my life. SOBA1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Major epiphany tonight... essentially, i will be looking into non-faith-based programs. still plan on attending AA... however, i am beginning to feel out of place. the camaraderie is what is helping me. there are several people there that i enjoy talking to, but some i find to be extremely unnerving in their contrived compassion. that, and i see straight through the steps and the preaching in general. No, i do not think i am in the beginning stage of a relapse. My ability to recognize that in itself is enough of a reason for me to believe this. the evangelical-esque crowd has worn me to a state impatience. i realized i am not like these people. for the same reason i do not believe in god, i do not believe these "steps" are for me. I sit and watch the group perpetuate what is fundamentally sexism (masculine form of 'higher power', etc.) and i begin to remember who i am and what i believe. in the mean time, 'rigorous' research on alternatives is in progress. i feel a major sense of relief in catching myself slipping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhMyGosh! Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Major epiphany tonight... essentially, i will be looking into non-faith-based programs. still plan on attending AA... however, i am beginning to feel out of place. the camaraderie is what is helping me. there are several people there that i enjoy talking to, but some i find to be extremely unnerving in their contrived compassion. that, and i see straight through the steps and the preaching in general. No, i do not think i am in the beginning stage of a relapse. My ability to recognize that in itself is enough of a reason for me to believe this. the evangelical-esque crowd has worn me to a state impatience. i realized i am not like these people. for the same reason i do not believe in god, i do not believe these "steps" are for me. I sit and watch the group perpetuate what is fundamentally sexism (masculine form of 'higher power', etc.) and i begin to remember who i am and what i believe. in the mean time, 'rigorous' research on alternatives is in progress. i feel a major sense of relief in catching myself slipping. ^^^Whatever works for you man. Best of luck. However, I think somewhere along the way you may have been misled about the whole AA god thing. Its been my experience that a 'Higher power' can be pretty much whatever the fuck you want it to be. I dont find AA to be preachy at all. There are no rules. Any motherfucker who trys to shove god down your throat, deserves to be told to shut the fuck up. The only real reason is that it is presented and spoken about in a masculine form, is because the literature was written in the 1930s and AA derived from the oxford groups. The oxford groups failed because they were religious based, and Bill W. realized that, but alot of the concepts were taken from them in the beginning. Before I get into a whole history lesson, read the chapter "we Agnostics" in the big book. That may help some with the whole 'god' thing. Also, if the people around you in meetings are pissing you off, go to different ones. Even if people have been sober for a long time say shit, even if it has worked for them, that isnt AA's opinion on anything, it is theirs. PM me if you want, Id be more than willing to talk with you more about this all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 there is an atheist in one of the meetings i go to, he has like 20 years in the program. there are a few people who try and use the program to push jesus on people, i fucking hate that personally...ends up pushing people away. POZ im interested to hear what turns you off about the steps. From my experience the real big part of them I liked was getting my resentments down and then all of my own wrongs, making amends to people i fucked over also helped me a lot. I had a hard time with the step that says turn your will and life over to God. Like OMG says Good Luck homey, we got support for you....let us know how you decided to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IRON CHEF Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 So I'm on day 3, Tonight I tasted wine and spit it out. WHAT TRIGGERED YOU TO EVEN OPEN THE BOTTLE AND TAKE THAT "TASTE"? NOT NECESSARILY SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO SAY IN THE THREAD, BUT AT LEAST ADMIT SOMETHING HERE TO YOURSELF. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I was hanging out with a bunch of people, went to some open mic party type thing that blew assholes, so we decided to explore abandoned buildings instead. When we got back to my friends the girls started drinking wine, they offered me some, I declined. One of em' knew my deal but the other didn't and asked me to "just taste it." I took a swig, everyone looked at me, thinking I was about to break my new 100% alcohol free lifestyle, then spit it back into the glass. I thought it was a bit too sweet, anyways. I guess it was to prove to myself I'm strong enough to stay on coarse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 The idea of a sober Manute is very strange to me, probably because I'm reeling from a drinking til 7 AM hangover, which is exactly what we were doing together four years ago haha. Whatever makes you happy, soberfag. Come zapp me this week Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullshitTantrum Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 a lot of heads i know have a hard time keeping up with there meetings and programs because they feel like they don't relate to it on a personal level. but personally everyone at AA is struggling with the same afflictions. a lot of people turn to religion, and that in a sense turns a lot of people off to programs all together. but even though you might go through your every day differently your still going through the same fight and your trying to reach the same goals. so sometimes its not about the focus on the process, since that in itself is a very very personal thing. its all about the end means which hopefully will lead to building a healthy sober life style. good luck peoples, i really mean that. just being involved in a thread like this goes to show your not alone. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 I do a NA meeting about once every four months. I could not hang at AA, way too much "whatever it takes" and god and all. And uptight fuckers who look down on dopefiends when they are no different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 had a quarter of a beer last weekend at a party. put it down and started drinking ice water, tasted better. there goes 8 weeks /shrug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 ^what helps me not do that is thinking to myself "why stop at one sip?" I can't drink occasionally or have just one beer when hanging with friends. One sip will make me want to go buy a liter for 10 bucks and get blasted. *swamp, I blame most of my uncontrollable love for the bottle on that eastside apartment, alcoholic alumni house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Waking up at noon, puking, and then playing vodka pong. Those were the days Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dowmagik Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 props for cleaning up, POZ. love you brah, but you kinda suck at being a drunk. i mean, you're really good at getting wasted, but more bad than good seems to come from it. got yer back, cousin! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IRON CHEF Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 ^what helps me not do that is thinking to myself "why stop at one sip?" I can't drink occasionally or have just one beer when hanging with friends. One sip will make me want to go buy a liter for 10 bucks and get blasted. WER'E ALL LIKE THIS BROTHER, OR SNEAKING AROUND THE BACK OF A BUILDING EVADING THOSE THAT WILL HIT US UP ABOUT DRINKING AND SNEAKING BACK INTO THE EVENT., STEALING A FEW BUCKS WHEN NEEDED FOR A BOTTLE. SOBER WEEKEND TO YOU. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Today I've got the urge, big time. Last night I hung out with my girl and drunk friend while they got sauced. I still had huge laughs and it was pretty much the same, I just wasn't sloppy and empty eyed. I smoked some weed, so I'm not SOBER sober, but getting off the bottle is a huge deal. *POZ being drink free for 30 days actually made me feel weak. If that nig can do it, I better be able to. Later dawgz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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