injury Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Day 14. Stay strong everyone. Started going to NA meetings, AA was just far too religious for me (yes, I understand NA is based on AA). Whatever works I guess. Props. There's plenty of atheist/agnostic programs too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Day 14. Stay strong everyone. Started going to NA meetings, AA was just far too religious for me (yes, I understand NA is based on AA). Whatever works I guess. I feel you on the religious stuff. I think certain groups will push the religion side of it more than others. I stopped going to meetings altogether for that reason as well. It's a bummer that it ends up that way, that some people feel the need to push their beliefs on others. I understand that how AA is supposed to work is through the participant finding god and doing the steps. Some people were very insistent, with claims of wasted time and certain failure if you weren't connected with 'God'. What sucks about that situation is that it completely ignores the fact that a big chunk (all, in my case) of the effectiveness of AA comes from just being there and hearing stories about recovery, and being able to relate. All the steps and god shit aside, that is the part AA that i miss. You don't necessarily NEED God or even the steps to get and stay sober. Nor do those things mean certain sobriety. You just have to want it. And you have to learn how to incorporate sobriety into every day of your life... any situation. You can't control the addiction, but you can control your decisions based on awareness of the addiction. Best of luck either way, Protester. Sometimes i feel like a broken record in this thread. I just know that when i was struggling with a similar dilemma, it would have put me somewhat at ease to hear some of these things rather than departing AA wondering if they were right about inevitable failure. And in regard to Winter/triggers and all that... well, i'm welcoming Fall and all its rainy drear with open arms. Drink lots of coffee, read books, walk around. I dunno. I love this weather. take care, folks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 ^ I use Acamprosate or 'Campral'. @Poz; Cheers mate. Interestingly enough, I heard that all the new reprints of text for NA in the states are removing references to God and replacing it with 'Higher Power' - also removing the 'him' gender from some of the steps. Not sure how true it is, I heard it at my last meeting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 ^ I use Acamprosate or 'Campral'. @Poz; Cheers mate. Interestingly enough, I heard that all the new reprints of text for NA in the states are removing references to God and replacing it with 'Higher Power' - also removing the 'him' gender from some of the steps. Not sure how true it is, I heard it at my last meeting. That has already been done here, but it doesn't solve the problem entirely. Nothing will; fact is, it's all based around Christianity. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 True enough. Good to know they are actually doing/have done it. It will take a while to filter out to Australia I'm sure. My local meeting is in a church room. You're right about remembering what you're there to get out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 You're right about remembering what you're there to get out of it. this. the god talk is too much for me too, but it's not hard to look past that to the good people in there + other, more important stuff. eventually it'll be other new people trying to get/stay sober themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 this is a group that was composed for those not feeling AA because of the god stuff. http://lifering.org/ I am not a Christian and some of the shit bugs me but I try and focus on the alcohol problem and shit. POZ is right, AA was founded on the Oxford Group which was modeled on Christianity. I have been disconnecting with AA for awhile now, hit 1 meeting in the last 3 or 4 months. I have been more active in other things that keep me developing. Meh, whatever. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 AA is a christian hustle. The fact that they tell you that you have no power over yourself and to just shut off your brain and let "God" take over is probably more responsible for their failure rate than anything else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 I went to a NA meeting for the first time in well over a year last night. It was pretty killer for a meeting although a bit crowded, I think that happens this time of year with back to school though as the meeting I go to is next to the University. Back when I was first getting clean from narcotics I used to have a policy of going to a meeting if I was planning on getting loaded. Last night I had some time on my hands and was about ready to head to the store so I decided to hit a meeting instead, simple action still works I left the meeting no longer wanting to get wasted, come home and had a mellow evening watching the Kill Bill movies. The word God was not mentioned once outside of the rigamarole at the beginning and the Serenity Prayer at the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 ^^ Nice work, Mort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 AA is a christian hustle. The fact that they tell you that you have no power over yourself and to just shut off your brain and let "God" take over is probably more responsible for their failure rate than anything else. Sometimes you're not a complete fucking idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Nah, I'm never an idiot at all. Sometimes it takes some of you people getting older to realize that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redeyedanimal Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 This thread morphs the reality of the oontz. People drop the egos in this place. Anyways... My brother is pretty convinced he has cancer, says he has lumps showing up all over his body and shit, but really isn't happy in his situation so just maxed out his life insurance and death benefits with the company he works for. He has no intentions of fighting it at all, just waiting to die essentially. I'm not sure that my Dad will be able to handle that shit, at all. He is just starting to begin to get over losing his wife of 36 years, losing a son would probably make him drink until his heart stops.... again... but not call 911 this time. Life is a fuckin bitch right now. I am maintining at around 1.5 mg klonopin a day, and take effexor (which doesn't do shit but make my dick not stay up when it needs to, which is depressing. Counter-effective med.) I drink about 3-4 beers a day, or if I open a bottle of wine I finish it. I can feel myself slipping back into my old mindset, and I almost welcome it right now. More carefree, but still productive. Might even get the old cans back out one day soon and find a bridge to tuck underneath. It's been a long fuckin time since I felt that relaxed... WALL OFF TEXT. DID NOT READ. -red. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleazeside Heights Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 Really sorry to hear that man, that is ROUGH. Hope your brother can decide to change his mind. Life situations can always be changed if really needed. So my friend that hurt himself from a fall blacked out was telling me that one of the realizations he made was that he's 'addicted to the chaos in life." One of the reasons he drank because it brought that in, and filled some sort of need for that. It makes a lot of sense. I can relate to where he's coming from, I'm sure most can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalashnikov Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 Haven't been doing too great. Still on methadone, but have been using dope on top of it. One more dirty UA from getting 21-day detoxed. Severely depressed. Have been drinking every night since about April or so, minus a few nights here and there (including last night). Not satisfied with life right now in the least... fuck it though. Hope everybody is doing well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Damn.....the annoying ass home page almost makes me not log in to oooontz anymore. Came here just for this and possibly KIRs thread on the coyote skull. Keep your mind right naggers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 he's 'addicted to the chaos in life." One of the reasons he drank because it brought that in, and filled some sort of need for that. It makes a lot of sense. I can relate to where he's coming from, I'm sure most can. that self-destructive streak will kill you. it really will. and drinking enables it like nothing else i know. not sure why nature would wire a brain to want to kill the person it controls. that's life i guess. Haven't been doing too great. Still on methadone, but have been using dope on top of it. One more dirty UA from getting 21-day detoxed. Severely depressed. Have been drinking every night since about April or so, minus a few nights here and there (including last night). Not satisfied with life right now in the least... fuck it though. Hope everybody is doing well! that "i don't want to wake up in the morning so i'll drink/use till i forget i have to" kind of lifestyle? stay safe, and we're here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Yo red. Shit is hard man. Trying to help people that don't want it, kills me. Getting back in touch with things that used to make you happy without any substance sounds like a good look to me? Yo sleazey. Seeking out drama/chaos is a pretty common trait of an addict. I have physically started to write down when a craving hits me, and what I'm doing at the time. I know a lot of you are familiar with the journal/diary thing - and I'm sure most fucked it off pretty quick. Like after that first week sheet ran out that the GP gave you. I'm on day 29 now, and for the first time through all of this, I was actually in a frame of mind to assess my frame of mind, and trust the assessment that I'd made. The painful part of that is, there's a couple of things on that little list that weren't what I had attributed cravings before. /hopingIain'tjustcrazy Stay up, Kalash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redeyedanimal Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 Alcoholics creedo: Fuck it... time for some relaxation.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 try to stay level, red. that's all there is to do. props on the upcoming anniversary pro. keep it up, you keep learning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brothhalynch Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 straight alcoholic livin sucks tho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Thank Inj, and thanks to this whole thread. Funny what a bit of anonymity can do for ones self. I always figured it was destructive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crime stoppers Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 copped a fucking heinous virus (scandinavian start of winter type shit) a few weeks back, forced me off alcohol for about 6 days. until then i didn't really notice that i couldn't remember the last time i'd gone more than 1 day without drinking. i've been on the road for over two years now and in that time i'd be lucky if there was a combined total of one month where i haven't drank anything. so then i started smoking a fuckton more hydro and hash to compensate, cold went away and i got back on the wagon. i didn't have withdrawals (although the shakes i've had consistently for about 2 years went away) so i'm fairly sure my problem isn't alcohol, it's sobriety. and now i've got some stupidly good hookups for class-A shit, gotta find a balance soon before i fall off the deep end. keep on keeping on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Two years ago yesterday i stumbled down to the closest AA meeting i could find. Maybe a ten minute walk from my door. I was definitely scared. I had to step out for a moment in the middle of the meeting when i felt like i was going to vomit. But i began soaking up the wisdom offered by the regulars and got some foundation built for my sobriety. After a month and a few weeks, i felt the need to distance myself from the meetings and ended up never going back. My life continued to improve as sobriety became a solid and tangible facet of my personality. At this point I've plateaued in terms of improvement when compared to my time drinking. For the better part of that first year, every damn day felt better than the one before it. It was great. Now i feel normal for the most part. i'm used to not drinking, to not being hungover. Now stomach aches from gorging myself with food are the worst i feel, physically. The endorphins from skateboarding give me much of the same high i used to find with liquor. Anxiety comes and goes. I don't fully understand the point of most social functions anymore. I find that they often mirror high school hallways; just a place to be seen wearing your most recently purchased clothes and hold contrived conversations with people you are indifferent toward. I'm happy being something of a hermit, skateboarding as much as i can, and enjoying my work. I sometimes romanticize the drinking i used to do, which is really what pushed it to the point of becoming addiction, but i hit a low enough low that it's easy to bring myself back to reality with those awful memories. I'm not unlike someone who was attacked by a dog as a child, and who will never live down that ingrained fear. Anyway, I hope you're all doing well. Be safe, Red. Good work protestor and the other folks at the beginning of, or contemplating the trip. Inj, super stoked to see you keeping at it dude. FR, i'm gonna shoot you a PM when i have more time regarding your counseling path and all that. I've been entertaining the idea of pursuing education in the substance abuse field. here's to another year sober... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleazeside Heights Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 Word up to POZ on 2 years. Really happy for you dude, you deserve it. I also stopped because of medicine i had to take. It wasn't that hard. Moving closer to my favorite bar/restaurant..that's gonna be hard. Either way I feel better. For the better part of the month stone cold sober, you really do end up appreciating things in your life end even the day. Friend told me yesterday starting sober is like learning how to do everything for the first time again. Got a few goals I need to work for, slowly tryna find a job, and hopefully more of a permanent place to live. Then get myself a nice woman and a dog. Gonna try to focus on that which is a big enough distraction to try to focus on and improve quality of life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feed Yer Ego Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 i spent a night in lock up at the beginning of the month and i'm sure yall know how that shit gets when you go in drunk and sober up and are stuck staring at blank walls maybe have withdrawals. thought about my life non-stop. my birthday was coming up (it was the 11th). thought about everything i should/could do. thought i'd start cutting back/weening off and finally blow everyone's mind and quit drinking on my birthday. after getting bailed out i told my three recovering friends and my recovering crush/shorty/partner-in-weird my plans/thoughts/feels. did 3 days sober, then had a 40 and a shot. then did two or three days again. then the birthdays came. my sister's on the 8th, bestfriend's on the 9th. sober the 10th. tanked on my bday the 11th. the 12th i went to my first meeting with shorty. sober sunday. freaked out monday cuz bad morning. went to the bar and got super trashed. shorty hit me up to hang out and then go to a last call meeting...she get pissed when i told her what had happened...but she was more mad i was being a longwinded bitch about everything and i came off stupid and shit got misread sober yesterday sober today. even tho i went into a bar. and had a long bus/train trips with many transfers where i could've gotten drinks. shorty isn't mad anymore and we hung out all night after my long ass transit. can't sleep for shit afterwards tho despite sleeping pills and kava tea but this movie "You Kill Me" is on about an alcoholic assassin who's crime family sends him outwest to dry out and they hire a guy to make sure he goes to AA meetings and his new legit job Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 I'm hearing you, Feeder. Haven't seen the movie, but I've watched Bill W. a fair few times now. It's all one day at a time, for all of us, yo. A lot of people focus on that sober time, counting and measuring, I wouldn't want anyone to hate on themself for having a lapse of judgement - each day is as important as the last. Wasn't sure if this is worth posting in here; http://www.theguardian.com/sport/video/2013/aug/27/mike-tyson-drink-drugs-alcoholic-video?CMP=dis_829 A lot of people are a lot of things, and we're all different, in different life situations, but isn't it amazing how close we all are in thought processes? Stay up, yo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 It's all one day at a time, for all of us, yo. A lot of people focus on that sober time, counting and measuring, I wouldn't want anyone to hate on themself for having a lapse of judgement - each day is as important as the last. time is also valuable when talking about being vigilant ... because it's easy to autopilot this shit especially after you've got a lot of time under your belt. it's so easy to take it for granted, that's how i relapsed. one day at a time, deciding "i'm not gonna drink today" is all it takes. respect to POZ for his years, and everyone else out there. had a lot of this (sobriety/etc) on my mind lately .. friend of a friend OD'd the other day, had relapsed and was trying to rejoin the program after surgery and self-medicating on pain meds. never met the dude but my friend is unhappy about it. his own words were "i've seen enough relapses/deaths in my time in this program that it doesn't really faze me that much anymore" it's nice & comfortable to forget that this shit can/will kill you if you give it the chance. remembering how deep i got in it myself has been tempering the cravings this week. considering an exercise program or diet change to help fight them next week and beyond ... sick of 'em. stay up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 ^^^Remembering just how far you let your self go is a good way to stay sober when it gets rough.... POZ that shit was well said, props on the 2 year mark. Huge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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