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offensive jokes..


graffsurgeon

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what's the difference between an ethiopian and a pair of jeans?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the jeans only have one fly on them....

(i feel bad every time i tell that one. It hasn't seemed to be so well-known yet!)

 

what do you call an etheopian family portrait?

a barcode

 

haha but seriously, i do feel bad for sayin these too, etheopians have a dope culture, have you ever had etheopian food?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

neither have they.

BAM!

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what do you call an etheopian family portrait?

a barcode

 

haha but seriously, i do feel bad for sayin these too, etheopians have a dope culture, have you ever had etheopian food?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

neither have they.

BAM!

 

ziing!!:lol: :lol:

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Good to see posts in this thread again, too bad it's mostly repeats...

This ain't really offensive but it did make me laugh-

 

Did you hear that Stevie Wonder got a cheese-grater for Christmas?

 

He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read!

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not offensive..but made me chuckle a bit.

 

A married couple goes to a marriage counselor to work out some problems.

The counselor sits them on the couch and says,

"Let's start by talking about what you both have in common"

 

The husband replies, "Well, for starters, niether on of us sucks dick."

 

lol'd propped

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This is a story about 4 cunts, named Everycunt - Nocunt - Anycunt & Someothercunt.

 

One day, there was a job that needed doing and Someothercunt was asked to do it. Everycunt was sure Someother cunt would do it, but Nocunt did it. Everycunt got shitty because it was Someothercunts jobs, Nocunt didn't realise that Anycunt could have done it. It ended up Everycunt blaming Someother cunt and Nocunt doing what Anycunt could have done......I think i work with these cunts!

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This is a story about 4 cunts, named Everycunt - Nocunt - Anycunt & Someothercunt.

 

One day, there was a job that needed doing and Someothercunt was asked to do it. Everycunt was sure Someother cunt would do it, but Nocunt did it. Everycunt got shitty because it was Someothercunts jobs, Nocunt didn't realise that Anycunt could have done it. It ended up Everycunt blaming Someother cunt and Nocunt doing what Anycunt could have done......I think i work with these cunts!

nice

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What's the difference between a Paki woman and a pilchard?

 

One's ugly, greasy with bulging eyes, the other's a fish.

 

 

This one's not offensive, but still...Quosimodo comes home from a hard day's bell ringing and notices a wok on the kitchen table. "Oh good", he says to his wife, "are we having Chinese tonight?"

 

"No dear", she replies, "I'm ironing you a shirt".

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i got the better version:

 

 

A man is sobbing sitting alone in the dark corner at the bar.

the bar tender goes up to him and asks "what's up?"

the man says life sucks...i just found out my first son is gay

wow, the bartender says: have a beer on me.

half an hour later the bartender sees the man crying.

the bartender approaches and asks: "you ok?"

I just found out my second son is gonna become a priest.

the bartender gives him another free beer.

half an hour later the man is just bawling.

the bartender says: "dude, i am sorry, but i just want to know

does anyone in your family likes women?"

the man says: "yeah, my wife"

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An ugly cunt of a man walks into the pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.

 

"Well, I'll tell you", replies the ugly man. "You know I live by the railway, well on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the old silent movies. Naturally, I cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, long story short, I scored big time! We made love all nigh, all over the house, in every concievable position, her on top, me on top, you name it, we did it."

 

"That's fantastic", exclaimed the barman, "was she pretty?"

 

"Fuck knows", replied the man, "I never found the head".

 

 

God created the world. He was lonely, so he created the birds, the animals an the fishes. He was still lonely, so he created two men to keep him company. When he had finished, he sat back and sighed contentedly. An angel raised his hand nervously and said "God, there's just one problem. You've created two men, they can't reproduce".

 

God paused for a moment, scratched his chin thoughtfully and replied, "You're right, give the dumb one a cunt."

 

 

Black guy walks into a pub with a parrot on his shoulder. "Where d'ya get that?" asks the barman.

 

"Africa", replies the parrot, "there's fuckin loads of 'em".

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didn't read through the whole thread, but here are my offerings.

 

Q. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

A. Nothing, shes already been told twice.

 

Q. What do you call a hindu with a peg leg?

A. Shit on a stick.

Q. What do you call a hindu with 2 peg legs?

A. A waste of lumber.

 

Q. Whats the difference between a native and a picnic table?

A. Picnic table can support a family of four.

 

Q. How can you tell if a black woman is pregnant?

A. She pulls out her tampon and all the cotton is picked off the end.

 

On a more serious note, I stopped a rape last week............I changed my mind.

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a couple are at a hospital, and the wife is giving birth, so the woman goes into labor... then all of a sudden after the doctor cuts the umbilical cord he starts swinging the baby around and smashing him into walls, stomping on him, and then starts stabbing the baby with a scalpel .... he then stopped turned around and looked at the traumatized couple and said...... "im just fucking wit ya! He was already dead...."

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