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Dear ________,


suca

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear qd-

 

Avocado is god’s gift to the food pyramid. I just watched man vs. wild and found out they grow from a tree...mind boggling. The only thing that sucks about avocado is that if you eat too much of them they tear up your mouth.

Avocado enthusiast as well- Banana fish

 

Dear non-smoking ex boyfriend

 

I am well aware that smoking causes caner, smells bad, and turns pearly whites to dirty yellow you don’t have to remind me. I don’t feel the need to remind you that sleeping with random females can lead to pregnancy or an std I just let you do you please return the favor or I will have to be forced to once and for all leave you in the past. There are plenty of ways to eventually die I am apparently choosing lung cancer and you are choosing aids lets just leave it at that mmm kay? great.

chill out it could be worst I could be addicted to crack- B. Fish

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear 15+ house guests that covered every inch of floor in my apartment this past weekend,

That was fun.

Although expensive.

We should do it again sometime.

And take photos.

So people might actually believe I have friends.

And a life.

Love,

The Best Hostess in The Universe

 

Dear money,

Why you leave me?

Please find your way back into my life.

Things are boring without you around.

Please show up by dinnertime.

And drink time.

Thanks,

No Dollars No Cents

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear Body,

 

Fuck you punk.. I did not drink enough for you to hate me this much today.. I felt fine before going to bed.. WTF!!!! I hate you. Seriously.. Fucking die already, I am supreme and can exist without you.. Totally. You fucking fucker...

 

Always hating you,

IOU

 

 

 

Dear Long Time Friend,

 

Can't wait until you bring by the fresh Red-Snapper for us to cook up.. We will eat and drink and laugh... And drink and drink until the hospital makes me stop.

 

Signed,

Glutton for a Punishment

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear School,

 

Please ease up, I really can't deal with you too well right now.

 

 

Dear freelance projects,

 

Please be done soon so I can have your moneys and more of my time.

 

 

Dear Dad and Mom,

 

Thanks for getting a divorce. I really needed that added to my list.

 

 

Dear Cats,

 

Please stop waking me up at 4 am for breakfest, you know I will feed you everyday no matter what, so just leave me the fuck alone so I can sleep. Kthx.

 

 

Dear life in general,

 

I love you and hate you always.

 

 

xo

motherfuckingAIDS.

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