IOU Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Dear Most High Power, Thanks for giving me the strength not to laugh when that crazy chick yelled 'YAHOOOO!!!' while riding me like a bronco... Always, OneNutter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mn1_fuckos Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Dear Medicine, its been 23 hours since ive slept i know the side effects said slight loss of sleep but seriously what the hell!!!! what does slight mean to you people ive been bored as hell since 5 oclock and i only got 2 hours of sleep prior to that! -MN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Dear Opera Girl, I know youre busy writing your letter of resignation. I know youre busy organizing shit for your new job. I know youre moving into your new house this weekend. I know youre organizing your cousins a wedding across the united states in Arizona. I think you and your friends are lying to me though when yall try to tell me that you are actually interested in me. I mean all this shit that piled up it all sounds like excuses not to talk to me in the real world. Shit all I want to do is take a couple hours out your day to take you to dinner and relive some stress. Yet you still tell me youre gonna call me and we are gonna get together next week sometime and that patience is a good thing to have... I dont believe you.I am going out for dirty latinaz this weekend sorry its your loss. Hopefully you dont see me slapping fat latina booties wrapped in fake snake skin skirts in the middle of the street tonight because that could be detrimental to whatever you want with me in the future. -Signed Not waiting for yo' ass (but if you find the time Im here for ya) Juan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IOU Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Dear Opera Girl, I know youre busy writing your letter of resignation. I know youre busy organizing shit for your new job. I know youre moving into your new house this weekend. I know youre organizing your cousins a wedding across the united states in Arizona. I think you and your friends are lying to me though when yall try to tell me that you are actually interested in me. I mean all this shit that piled up it all sounds like excuses not to talk to me in the real world. Shit all I want to do is take a couple hours out your day to take you to dinner and relive some stress. Yet you still tell me youre gonna call me and we are gonna get together next week sometime and that patience is a good thing to have... I dont believe you.I am going out for dirty latinaz this weekend sorry its your loss. Hopefully you dont see me slapping fat latina booties wrapped in fake snake skin skirts in the middle of the street tonight because that could be detrimental to whatever you want with me in the future. -Signed Not waiting for yo' ass (but if you find the time Im here for ya) Juan Dear SumOneElse, I dated an opera chick for a hot minute. True story. Signed, Up too early Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KILZ FILLZ Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 dear Frankfurt, why does this city suck so much? i walked around for like 4 hours today and didnt see one fucking record shop or even a damn grocery store to get some cheap booze. what the hell... signed you know who Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MitchThe$nitch Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 dear bojangs, hip hop camp sounds fun enclosed is $1.23 and 2 lacky bands please send me some can control in return kthxbai i lol'd in my cubicle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MitchThe$nitch Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 dear orientation at work, why do i have to come there at 12:30 and present? i hate talking in large groups of people. and i don't think people care what i have to say. please don't make me do this again - its ruining and otherwise unproductive friday at work. corporately yours, mitchey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VAJ Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Dear hangover, Go away. woowooed out, VAJ Dear me, Please stop staying up so late drinking when you have to be at work the next day. It's never a good idea. Learn from your mistakes stupid. And stop going to that damn messican bar. There are other places to play pool. you're an idiot. love me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyNameBackwords Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Dear Brookline Police Department, I apologize for parking in front of my house sometimes. I realize that this must have created severely dangerous roadways and this is why you ticket any car parked overnight. It would be cynical to view such ticketing as the fleecing of Massachusetts motorists. How else would a town with little to no crime rate be able to afford 3500 dollar lidar guns. With what other means would they pay 30 dollars detail an hour to sleep in your patrol cars while you repave your streets with jackhammers and bulldozers at 4 in the morning. Let me also salute your diligence in regards to shutting down any sort of party that would take place in your blessed land. Perhaps this was so we wouldn't wake the construction crew taking a sleep break from jackhammering route 9. Anyways, as much as I enjoyed the loving embrace of the town which you brave men protect so diligently, I leave disillusioned once again in the function of your services. Make that money boys. I'll see you in hell. Brookline police can suck my fuckin dick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 dear people of the federation, signed, sealed, delivered, i'm yours....oooh wee baby set my soul on fire. i don't know what this means, but i'm tired, it's friday and i'm in a good mood. love and happiness, sherockadon'tstoppagottarockitdon'tstop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HatoriHanzo Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Dear ex, No i Do not want to get back with you, I was drunk and I was trying to find a moist cavern to shove my willy into. Please stop calling and saying you love me , I will not get with you, you are just too fucking nutty. Sincerely, Destroying your Self-esteem and hopes Dear UFC, Please do not let the Quinton Jackson vs Hendo match suck tonight, If so I am going to get stupidly drunk and try fighting my friends to make up for your shittyness. Lovingly, Jumpkick1er Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinky the kid Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 dear annoying black teenagers, please stop making my rides on the bus so irritating, its bad enough i have to take the bus to and from school. i also would like you too keep your voices down, if i can hear you talking with my ipod on full blast then you need to tone that shit down. get some fucking manners or steal a care i dont care. eat a dick, twinkdizzle ps. stop sweating, you make the give the bus a terrible stench. /no racist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VAJ Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Dear Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger, Thank you so much for helping me and my hangover. You're greasy goodness was just what I needed. lovingly, Fatty McfatVAJ p.s. you kinda smell like playdo and thats strange. But now you smell like playdo in my belly so I don't care. Dear Dorothy, Thank you for opening your account and fattening my wallet even more. However, please learn how to use a fax machine. This is your only warning. Your account manager, salesVAJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Dear hippies that are hosting a house party tomorrow, I know that we have had our differnces in the past. I still remember that when you held a house meeting to talk about me, that I lost the vote. But you are all only a bunch of stinky free loving hippies, and your opinions didn't change anything. I will try not to spit in your faces again. I will try not to make fun of the creepy old guy that is just begging to be made fun of. I will try not to pee on your furniture. I can't promise anything. Sometimes the street wolf comes out and things go crush kill destroy. Either way, I hope you have beer for me to drink. Love, PartyCrasherOner Dear pissdrunk, Come pee on hippies' furniture with me. Love, False promise maker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VAJ Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Dear blood fart, I would so love to pee on hippies' furniture with you. I should take a weekend trip. I bet I know these hippies you speak of. I've probably slept on their couch. --bladderVAJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MitchThe$nitch Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 dear gyros and cheese fries, i shouldn't have eaten you - but you were so fucking good. i'm full now, dropping rocks on you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 dear job interview, here are some of my questions: 1. can i call management "my nukkas?" 2. is this office a sausage party or what? 3. where all the white women at? 4. do i really have to dress like a Sears catalog model? 5. why the fuck do you all tuck in your shirts, got something to hide? 6. you guys mind if i take 20 minute shits? 7. who the fuck is that asshole? 8. do i have to work with that bitch who looks like Alf in drag? 9. are you going to buy me dinner or what? 10. who do i have to kill to get a job around here? thank you for your time nukka nukka. sincerely, Earl Broclo ESQUIRE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 dear mitchthesnitch, gyros are the worst thing to eat before a road trip. i know from experience and wanted to share that with you. good luck and hope you enough TP, earl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Dear VAJ, You know these hippies. They are wiggity wiggity wack. Come up for the party. It's your man's buddy's sister's birthday. I say no more. Seriously though, don't make me act a fool by myself. Love, B.A.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VAJ Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 B.A.C., I couldn't do it. I don't like those kids at all. I would definitely act a fool. Just like last time I was forced to be around those kids. I can't take it. You're a stronger woman than I am to have anything to do with that bunch. love VAJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KILZ FILLZ Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 dear germans what the hell was that guy thinking at the club tonight when he busted out the robot? i am white and cant dance but would never bust out the robot in a club. his girl wAS TOTALLY oops caps lock giving me the ´please resq me look´ ´ps gay dude´s goto the gay clubs its already a sausage fest as it is. yours truley drunken creamy potatoe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KILZ FILLZ Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 dear job interview, here are some of my questions: 1. can i call management "my nukkas?" 2. is this office a sausage party or what? 3. where all the white women at? 4. do i really have to dress like a Sears catalog model? 5. why the fuck do you all tuck in your shirts, got something to hide? 6. you guys mind if i take 20 minute shits? 7. who the fuck is that asshole? 8. do i have to work with that bitch who looks like Alf in drag? 9. are you going to buy me dinner or what? 10. who do i have to kill to get a job around here? thank you for your time nukka nukka. sincerely, Earl Broclo ESQUIRE dear earl sounds like when i worked at burlington coat factory -cream Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
groyn shmoyn Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 dear miller lite, fuck you. you suck compared to tecate. dub tee eff was i thinking when i bought an 18 pk of you?! im killing all you bastards and going back to the fridge for some hard liquor. peace fucker, -shmoyn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest R@ndomH3ro Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 Dear FLAKE ASS GIRL, I am glad you let me smash, it was cool. But where do you get off telling me how to live? We aint married bitch. Good thing I am going out with another girl tomorrow. You old news. -Sneak "Dont hate the playa, hate the game" Creep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bojangles Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 Dear boring, You are gay. Thanks for ruining my Friday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duck Butter Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 dear sneak slam that hawaiian chick! duck beezle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest R@ndomH3ro Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 Duck Beez, I will bring the "A" game. I will do you proud, get on them tickets to Miami so we can make it rain on the hoes in the casinoz!!!! -Sneak"Party party"Creep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duck Butter Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 werrrd! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spitfire15 Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 Dear Sneak, I hope this one doesnt go to gay fashion shit like that dominican whore. Love, Spitfizzle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bojangles Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 Dear beer, Thank you for numbing me enough to give out advice to toys on myspace tonight. /no graffiti. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.