GLIK$ Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 30 things I learned from porn 1. Women wear high heels to bed. 2. Men are never impotent. 3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. 4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her. 5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm. 6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men. 7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob. 8. Women always orgasm when men do. 9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket. 10. All women are noisy cummers. 11. People in the 70's couldn't cum unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. 12. Those tits are real. 13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. 14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum. 15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!) 16. Double penetration makes women smile. 17. Asian men don't exist. 18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. 19. There's a plot. 20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt. 21. Nurses suck patients cocks. 22. Men always pull out. 23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you. 24. Women never have headaches... or periods. 25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it". 26. Assholes are clean. 27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. 28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there. 29. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip. 30. Dorky guys never have to beg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 dat's da troof! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
^ . ^ Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 thats a lot of pron studying.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mainter Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 cool we care way??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest spectr Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 thanks for the insights.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveboxcars Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 if only assholes were truly clean... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 better watch me round your girl if you aint fucking her right! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smart Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 I was only marginally amused until I read this and then I bailed... be who you want to be but, I'm not into it... 18. If you come across a guy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheOh Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 hooray porn! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shitting Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 i loled... did you write them gliko? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest YEAHMANWORD Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 A++++ WILL READ AGAIN!!1! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
screaming hand logo Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 now you can write a book called YOUR GIRLFRIEND MIGHT BE A PORN STAR IF...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skullnbones Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 11. People in the 70's couldn't cum unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. 17. Asian men don't exist. Haha these to did the most loling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soupBDC Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 31. Before having secks with an asian, remove the octopus from her vagina. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny ballbags Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 11. People in the 70's couldn't cum unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. 25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it". 28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there. :haha::haha::haha::haha::haha: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AOTPrep Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm. 7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob. 1. Women wear high heels to bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AOTPrep Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 ive noticed number one the most though, i dont get it? does it give them class? is the porn star classier if they have better high heels? i think thats how u can rate if the porno is gonna be good or not Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madsencarl Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 31. Before having secks with an asian, remove the octopus from her vagina. i thought we were still at eels in pooper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garlic prawns Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 I want a few of these as my sig. It's all so true though, fuck porn i love my gurl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpyD Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 if only assholes were truly clean... well they aint gonna clean themselves, so get to lickin! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DBMstyles Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 lol^^^...number 27 is true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUR X3 Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 22. Men always pull out. YOU'VE obviously never heard of creampies... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunm Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!) 16. Double penetration makes women smile. 17. Asian men don't exist. 18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. easily my favorites....all in a row no less! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brydon Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm. Definatly the best one....because its true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bokals.. Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: good job gliks... /u hear me.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skilla54 Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 i learned a lot of my moves from porno. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 That was some funny shit right there. But, yo, a lot of it is true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishCarBombs Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 32. dinosaurs flap there wings while getting blow jobs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wes Mantooth Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 ^HAHA Asian men don't easy, there's a plot, reminding her to "suck it", etc. Go you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonysoprano Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 asian men dont exist and A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt ha ha hah hah ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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