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GLIK$

Things I've Learned

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30 things I learned from porn

 

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy cummers.

11. People in the 70's couldn't cum unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patients cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

30. Dorky guys never have to beg.

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I was only marginally amused until I read this and then I bailed...

be who you want to be but, I'm not into it...

 

18. If you come across a guy...

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11. People in the 70's couldn't cum unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

 

17. Asian men don't exist.

 

Haha these to did the most loling.

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11. People in the 70's couldn't cum unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

 

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

 

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

 

 

:haha::haha::haha::haha::haha:

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5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

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ive noticed number one the most though, i dont get it?

does it give them class? is the porn star classier if they have better high heels? i think thats how u can rate if the porno is gonna be good or not

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31. Before having secks with an asian, remove the octopus from her vagina.

 

i thought we were still at eels in pooper.

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if only assholes were truly clean...

well they aint gonna clean themselves, so get to lickin!

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15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

 

 

easily my favorites....all in a row no less!

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5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

 

Definatly the best one....because its true.

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