Weapon X Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 Yo, check it. My buddy tells me he hooked up with a thirty six year old through a chatline/room (not sure which). I met her yesterday for a brief moment, and immediately had a downright terrible impression of her. Fucking whiny voiced bitch. Then she has the nerve to keep calling my friend at his GOOD FRIEND’S wedding to complain about this and that…on top of that, she leaves a ton of text messages, too, saying how she “really wishes you could be here with me, I want to kill myself” and all that crap. My buddy is an idiot for leaving early yesterday. So what if she lets you drive her Navigator, Sierra, and Grand Am? So what if she can ride your cock real well? It defeats the purpose of being with an older lady if she acts like a kid, and is not, in fact, a lady. Bitch has three kids, the eldest being nineteen years of age. And she’s dealing with a twenty three year old (I like him, but…) moron. There’s been threads on this..I remember starting the Forever Young Syndrome thread…but how are you going to live like that? To what end? Jeez, fuck it. I’m still drunk, I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 I'm still hungover if that helps. last night I partied with 'the older woman' and ended up in a booze can when the sun came up. One thing though... she loves to... **** **** *ya hear me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overtime Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 thats awesome but mostly sucks ass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted August 12, 2004 Author Share Posted August 12, 2004 Haha, I hear you loud and clear, Key3. Also, I'm not hungover, I think I'm still drunk. Way too many scotch and waters. No, what am I saying...it wasn't too many if I behaved myself, which I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave_one Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 36 year old childish bitches need love too... seems like she is in need of attention. i hope i will not be like that in 10 years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunm Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 Originally posted by Weapon X Jeez, fuck it. I’m still drunk, I think. welcome to my hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GamblersGrin Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 id liek to hook up w/ an older woman. i have a headache from drinkin last nite. at the bar i whispered to a really short girl that i could sign her name using my semen. i went to the russian girls place after at 3 30 am and mumbled a bit then passed out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boring Bastard Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 Older bitches are crazy.....why you think they're trying to fuck your boy? Someone 4 years older than her kid?? Whatevs..........Trife Midlife crisis! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milton Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 "Don't stick your dick in 'em raw..." I can't stand the whiney voice. ESPECIALLY older broads, fuck that. It's time to talk like a grown up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
26SidedCube Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 One time my friend was waiting in line to cash his check when in strolls this fake-tittied, drunk, yet sorta cute broad with blonde hair and big lips (think Goldie Hawn minus about 15 years). My boy absolutely thinks with his dick 90% of the time so as soon as she says 'hi' to him he launches into flirt mode (I imagine, I wasn't there but this is how he is). Out of nowhere old bird goes 'So do you want to have sex with me?' and they start making out right there in line. Homeboy thinks it's all fine and dandy so he brings her back to our apt where I'm in the bathroom shaving my big ass goatee off. First thing I hear when the door opens is a scratchy 'HIIII! I'm JULIA! Can I get in here?!' So I tell her I'll be out of the way in a minute, just let me put the finishign touches on my suave facial hair. Chick goes 'No no honey, you don't have to go anywhere!' whips down her pants and stands there for a second. Now, nothing in my 21 short years of life could prepare me for happened next. This chick had giant DRAGON WINGS tattooed extending out from her clam and halfway around her thighs like the vaginal backbone of hell breaking earth and extending into trash heap in south Jersey. She's trying to show me these Midevil Pissflap Enhancers as she sits down and to use the can. I leave the bathroom out of confusion to see what the fuck my roommate was thinking. Next thing we know this old broad is asking us to take her shopping, for a place to live, money, yadda yadda and she keeps saying she'll fuck my homeboy if he just buys her some clothes. Mind you this chick had awesome fake boobage so she didn't get tossed out right away. Background note: my roommate is one of the most frugal people ever when it comes to money. Dude won't use ATMs most of the time because of the $1.25 fine. So anyway, dude rejects her and she starts going off about all sorts of re-assuring shit like 'prison colors' and how my eyes remind her of Frank Sinatra (I'm incredibily not Italian). BLAM! Next thing I know she's trying to make out with me and starts trying to take out my dick... this makes my roommate feel inferior or something, so he grips up this goofy old bitch and carries her into the bedroom for about 6 minutes. They come out, she's crying and he looks awkward as hell. I literally kick this bitch out the door and to the curb where she instantly starts harassing all sorts of other people. Turns out the roommate told her that she couldn't live with us and she broke down and started crying little golddigging slut tears all over the place. That's my old slut story. Now I've gotta run to the post office. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted August 12, 2004 Author Share Posted August 12, 2004 LOL@!!!! That’s dirty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panic Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 My homie is dating a 32 year old, he's 20. shes cool though, just weird. she's one of those spiritual, karma people. makes for interesting conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seven.13 Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 Originally posted by Asickeronius Older bitches are crazy.....why you think they're trying to fuck your boy? Someone 4 years older than her kid?? Whatevs..........Trife Midlife crisis! Your every married mans nightmare...:lol: ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gatita Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 All those girls have some screws loose. I have this belief that any girl within the 20s and early 30s who dates a much younger guy [ie. 27 dating a 23 year old, 34 year old dating a 25 year old] needs to get some therapy and not a boyfriend. A we all know, for the most part, girls mature much faster than guys. Maybe its just me though [because I honestly have not met many girls my age who I would define as mature] but I would NEVER date ANYONE even close to my age range, unless they a) blew me the fuck away with their intelligence, B) had an extremely large penis that they knew how to handle or c) had a steady job, lived on their own and were finanacially secure. Now, options a) and c) would have to come along for B) to happen, so B) is kinda like, a lil happy surprise to a) or c). Get me? [god Im bored.] Anyway, WeaponX: these two kids, or let me say, this kid and middle aged "my life is over" woman, really sound perfect for eachother. I say if youre not close friends with the guy and you dont see him all the time, leave em be. Who knows, maybe theyll get married, shell have his child and then when the child turned 19, she'll be 48 years old, dump your boy and start dating a new 23 year old. :lol: :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted August 12, 2004 Author Share Posted August 12, 2004 ^ that might actually happen. He’s gonna be moving in with her very soon, and he only just met her. By the time she's 48, she'll be looking like a 78 year old. seven smokes in the ride from my house to the wedding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boring Bastard Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Originally posted by ink Lunatic Your every married mans nightmare...:lol: ;) Kinda.........I mean........I handle the servicing and then send em home in a better mood! I'm kinda doing them more of a service instead of a disservice........if that makes any sense??? p.s. Call me Don Juan from now on.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave_one Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 ^ you're like patrick dempsey in that 80's movie Lover Boy...:lol: http://www.fast-rewind.com/loverboy2.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 You ever get that tie figured out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Originally posted by 26SidedCube she broke down and started crying little golddigging slut tears all over the place. Originally posted by Asickeronius Kinda.........I mean........I handle the servicing and then send em home in a better mood! I hope youre not sending them home with the v d's too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kr430n5_666 Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 http://www.kak.ru/images/archive/16/Flyers/35.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Telo Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Im drinking beer... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Im Broke Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 i hear that telo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted August 13, 2004 Author Share Posted August 13, 2004 Originally posted by mr.yuck You ever get that tie figured out? yeah, i mentioned earlier that this girl did it for me in the parking lot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overtime Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Originally posted by mr.yuck You ever get that tie figured out? how's death treatin ya? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyeforAnEYE Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 OMGZZZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 old+slutty=stds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveboxcars Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 at first i thought that said old+sweaty=stds man, that would mean i couldn't have sex with a lot of old people if i had a saggy flesh fetish. but only certain times of the day. and then we would have to do it in a freezer so they dont start sweating because then i would get an std unless that only works if they are sweaty before the sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GnomeToys Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 I screwed around a 40 something year old (i'm 23) and I wouldn't do it again. Bitch was cool and everything but she was fucking crazier than girls my age and that just isn't good. The 20 years of experience she had on me didn't teach her how to suckle the tubesteak very well either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 There are very few women on the face of the earth that can suckle the tubesteak very well at all. Its always good, but its very rarely grrrrrreaat!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
26SidedCube Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Originally posted by mr.yuck There are very few women on the face of the earth that can suckle the tubesteak very well at all. Its always good, but its very rarely grrrrrreaat!! No doubt. "This shit had better be twice as long in minutes as I am in inches or someone's getting an eyeful of baby juice..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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