2004WasAgesAgo Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 What are your inspirational levels like at the moment? Do you draw? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 What if you make no marked difference in anyone's life? And what if you do buy drinks for people, or hold doors open, but it doesn't make you feel any happier? What if your parents hate you? What if your 'friends' just use you? What if you've been drinking every night since as way far back as you can remember? And you can't smile until your third double? What if your niece is in good hands? Fuck this religious bullshit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Oh, and this: ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 What if you make no marked difference in anyone's life? And what if you do buy drinks for people, or hold doors open, but it doesn't make you feel any happier? What if your parents hate you? What if your 'friends' just use you? What if you've been drinking every night since as way far back as you can remember? And you can't smile until your third double? What if your niece is in good hands? Fuck this religious bullshit. the fuck is that from ^^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 So I'm going for it again, fresh start, day one. I was pretty much sober for almost 2 months last time and did a lot in that time. Work time boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 manute we missed u nagger. /nh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 I was on a huge drinking bender, I got it out of my system. tcb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhMyGosh! Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Manute..if I can be of assistance..I am more than willing. All you gotta do is ask. I feel like I havent checked this thread in a long while. I have been extremely busy. Unhealthily so. My time off from the 2 jobs I work has been spent working on the house I just bought. Ive barely been going to meetings and barely been painting. Blegh. Im still alive and sober though. Is it weird that I feel like I have to keep in touch with this thread and check in if I havent been here in a while? Silly interwebz. Yea, and Fat Ralphy....sponsees calling me has been a lifesaver also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 the fuck is that from ^^^ Me. A bad feeling is that of being weak and still turning to the bottle. It reminds me of when I was a child and angry at my parents' discipline, chalk full of self pity, and curling up with the stuffed toy in the bed. Now, the toy is stuffed with Jameson. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2004WasAgesAgo Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 ^ When you said your friends use you did you mean for free drinks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Not really. Drinks all around. They're karmic, in a sense. But, without going into detail, my line of work deals with something that a lot of people want, but aren't willing to pay for. In a lot of ways, I'm a mark. I'm certain that I'm way too fucking nice, and waking up with a whole lot of regret, day after day. Just looking for acceptance, no matter the cost. Alcohol is what brings it out. Funny how alcohol seems to simplify things, but, really, it complicates the fuck out them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2004WasAgesAgo Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Dont we all look for acceptance? Its a pretty strong human desire. You got me curious about your work now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 welcome back manute, you ugly piece of shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 OK, so my first day was a complete failure. I'll report back after the holiday, once I go a few days I'm pretty good about it. I want to stop right now. Yo ohmy, I always appreciate it homie, I'll let ya know if I need the meetings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhMyGosh! Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Hope everybody has a safe night tonight.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleazeside Heights Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Working again, so that's good. I took a walk around last night maybe tryna grab a beer and saw all the craziness of St. Patrick's day. Seeing all the fights, jocks, and general drunken boneheads really turned me off to it. So I went home and chiled with the dog sober. I was interested in all the skanky women though, oh well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Walking around the Haight last night definitely cooled me on the idea of going out to a bar. I'm not even sure I could have gotten into one had I wanted to. I recently got free from a stressful living situation so I've been feeling a lot better in that department....I'm looking forward to traveling and not being tied to obligations for a little while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I thnk im kinda lucky at the moment that I am so poor because I think if I wasn't I would definitely be losing control, just want to get a bottle of scotch and drain it, i dont think i would lose control if that happened Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 So i got a question, I posted on here about me being a heavy drinker about a year ago i guess. I staid sober for a few nights but caved in and started up again. I'd usually get drunk every night, during the week usually just a 6er when i got home, and than on the weekends just get completely black out. Me and my girl just broke up and she put it into perspective for me and I was pretty much just in a daze the whole relationship. I dont wanna change for her I wanna change for myself now. I am actually sober and havent had a beer since sunday. I want to stay sober during the week and just keep it to the weekends. Is this a bad idea to stop cold turkey like the way people say it is or was i not drinking enough for it to affect me like that. I get anxiety and have sleep problems anyway so im not worried about that. Also how much will my tolerance drop if i do this? (walloftext) I'll never be able to wrap my head around people who drink 6 beers a night thinking they're an alcoholic. facepalm.jpg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 "during the week usually just a 6er when i got home, and than on the weekends just get completely black out." i think its the weekends that he is having the problems. most "normal" people don't drink 42 beers a week, which is just a 6 pack a night not saying that a 6 pack a day means you are an alcoholic, just that it is probably more than an average or normal drinker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I miss the days when a 6-pack did me good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 i still think back on copping a 12er with my boy and getting enough of a buzz off that to be good for the night. weird. another drinking dream last night. they feel more like nightmares... once again relieved to wake up from that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 DAO, do you take days off the bottle each week? Is it a standard year to without hesitation drink every day of the year? I think it is more of the compulsive behavior. Like, when a person has to have at least a minimum 6 pack every single night or they are not going to feel remotely right. You may not be a sloppy drunk but you have a compulsive need to drink each day. That seems like a problem to me, even though it is a problem that at that point is easy to live with, easy to ignore and brush off. But when that 6ixer slowly increases over time and you realize you have consumed alcohol every single day for years and have trouble not consuming then you might identify as being an alcoholic even though you are not in the gutter. I think I am getting close to 5 months (10 or so days after POZ) and the 4 months area is when I really started feeling a bit better. Overall I feel happier, have an urge to persue creative outlets, am more focused, and feel like I am just a friendlier person in general. I still get urges to drink but I am really glad I am starting to feel some natural highs again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 props Lugr. i just spent a few hours in the big book with a sponsee. got in a big ass argument with my lady over the weekend. she thinks i have a problem with her drinking, yet I always tell her that its cool have a drink, have drinks, go to happy hour with friends etc. We have bottles in the kitchen etc....i'm cool with it. But its when she takes it too far that I have a problem. ie. going to happy hour with friends, having 3 or 4 drinks and then coming home and taking shots before getting in bed on a tuesday night. she doesnt see how that might not be normal or how that could bother me. it's a sticky situation....basically I told her there are things thatwe have to be careful about and how alcohol plays a role in out marriage is one of them. sucks to be a downer on her fun, she is a pretty normal person, but likes to get faded and act a fool once in awhile. we made up and i basically told her that i want her to value all the hard work i have invested into being sober. tl;dr = its hard to live with folks who like to drink when you are trying to stay sober Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2004WasAgesAgo Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 shots right before bed? your asking for a hangover. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 My usual is a half liter of something dark, no less than 35% alc Fuck a beer, waste of time to me unless I'm already drunk I caved in at day 4 this is my new day 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 *made this meme myself, pretty proud of it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anybody_wanna_peanut? Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 I wanna drink everyday and it's hard being sober when everyone I kno, and everyone my age is drinking all the time. Weekends are especially tough..plus it's hard to meet people who don't drink, but can still hangout. I only get like a month or two at the most and I'll fuck up and get blacked out. Oddly enuff usually alone. Life sucks scumfuck oner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincent St. John Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Stopped drinking 12.5 years ago and haven't had a drink since. Fast forward to today and I've been in and out of rehab and the hospital for substance abuse for the past 12.5 years. After rehab a year ago I stayed clean for about 3 months before falling back into the shit, not nearly as consistent use but one night turned into three very quickly. I was binging about twice a month and knew I was slipping back into real bad habits so I started talking to some friends that are pretty involved in AA. But before I could actually make it to a meeting I fucked up super hard and am now dealing with a bunch of bullshit in my life. Long story short tuesday will be 3 weeks sober and I'm doing about 4-5 meetings a week now. I've never really enjoyed NA and always had a connection with AA because, simply, my 8 months of intense involvement with AA is the only real sense of sobriety I've had in my adult life. Going to meetings is kinda fucking with me, I see a whole lot of truly happy people who once were total pieces of shit, as I was/am, but that happiness comes with a lot of baggage in my mind. GOD THE PROGRAM ie 12 steps, community, service, sponsorship, etc. I know I'm going through a lot of shit w just being sober and having to acclimate my lifestyle to it but fuck ya'll is this really the only way for the hopeless, to just surrender? I think I'm having trouble seeing the balance in it all, maybe because I'm not all that balanced at this point in my sobriety but I'm struggling with it all. I'm not going to stop going, I can't stop going, I don't know any other way to stay sober and alive at this point but fuck.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 sounds like you are on the right track though man, at least you are moving in the right direction...even if it is only one step at a time. i should have 5 years sober but i was using and so i am almost at 18 months. keep on doing it bro. props for putting yourself out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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