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Step8

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yessir! my girl and my boss are taking me out to sushi in a few. every day is better than the previous. i reflect on everything pretty regularly, and it always ends up filling me with such relief.

all of that is in the past.

 

Lugr, i know you're right behind me, so here's a congrats to you too... a little early.

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Thanks POZ and congratulations to you too. Pretty much hit the 6 month mark this week. Feel great overall, barely recognize the person I was 6 months ago and before that when I think about it. Lost a bunch of weight, creative drive is back, psychical drive is back and when I hit a natural high it lasts for days. Just an overall happier, friendlier person and don't constantly have a chip on my shoulder and negative attitude like I used to. Still have not been able to completely get closure with one person that I hurt for years while using, but have made some steps toward that and hopefully someday we will both be ready to speak to each other and I can try to explain what I now understand about my past.

 

Thanks to everybody in this thread for advice and guidance (especially fat ralphy). I never have gone to meetings or anything so reading a few posts in this thread on the bus can be really helpful to put my mind in check and remind me of where I am and where I want to go in this life.

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sometimes i find that being around alcohol and drunk people puts me in a foul mood. i'm sure this isn't exactly surprising to most of you, but i'd like to hear reactions... and for sober folks who have dealt with these emotions: do you have any coping methods? these people aren't even doing anything terrible, but the facade of alcohol on every conversation frustrates me.

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9 times out of 10, being around folks who are drinking doesnt bother me.....but when people are drinking alcoholically or they are acting like fucking retards I cant stand it. Thats why I try and avoid being at bars or shit shows for hours on end.

 

Just part of the territory POZ.

 

The one thing I do is remind myself its not my job to worry about other folks behavior, I don't have to be there if I don't want to.....best of all I just take it as a affirmation that I am not drinking for a reason and I would hate to go back to acting like a fucktard.

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probably for the most part.

 

the thing is though even when i am only going to one meeting a week or one every two weeks, my mind starts telling me that it would be okay to have a drink. that i am all good and i can control it. in fact just yesterday we were at a festival and some vendor was handing out wine "slushy" samples, basically little taster shots. my mind immediately tells me its cool to try it, if it wasnt for my wife there I probably would have to tell me no when i asked for some.

 

its not that I need meetings or I will drink, I use it like a defense that keeps my mind on point to be wary of sauce.

 

not all of our minds/addictions work the same, I find I am the type of guy that without being proactive to sobriety I am compelled to use/drink.

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successfully completed intensive outpatient rehab for probation, but i dont feel as it was enough to get me sober.

 

its been a while since ive even had the nerve to check in on this thread because of how selfish i had become, but im going to talk to my PO on thursday about letting me go to a residential treatment facility for 30-90 days.

 

i also just got out of the hospital because i had a seizure last night, i have been 5 days sober, but im also a type 1 diabetic and my bloodsugar had dropped all the way down to the 30's which i thinkmade my threshold for having a seizure just that much higher

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Thanks POZ and congratulations to you too. Pretty much hit the 6 month mark this week. Feel great overall, barely recognize the person I was 6 months ago and before that when I think about it. Lost a bunch of weight, creative drive is back, psychical drive is back and when I hit a natural high it lasts for days. Just an overall happier, friendlier person and don't constantly have a chip on my shoulder and negative attitude like I used to. Still have not been able to completely get closure with one person that I hurt for years while using, but have made some steps toward that and hopefully someday we will both be ready to speak to each other and I can try to explain what I now understand about my past.

 

Thanks to everybody in this thread for advice and guidance (especially fat ralphy). I never have gone to meetings or anything so reading a few posts in this thread on the bus can be really helpful to put my mind in check and remind me of where I am and where I want to go in this life.

 

This post is what I feel like Ch.0 is perfected. Real talk ! Go LUGR!

 

This right here makes me wanna cut down on drinking for real... First hand experience of "brewer's droop" with a beautiful girl the other night after leaving a bar and going to her house. Shit was weak.

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I was in SLC last night. I had two beers and went to the hotel room.

 

If you want to quit drinking, SLC is the place. The beer is a lower content and does not taste the same. Their shots are short because they are legally measured short.

 

SLC is not the place for drinking.

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not doing so hot. been drinking and listening to sad old country songs. loneliness is a bitch. shitty job adds to it. been too pessimistic lately in general. But some people have been showing me how an optimistic life view works wonders. Maybe I just gotta stop being so negative. I need something more to at least to balance things out.

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Same here.. starting to drink more often because of loneliness and not having seen my kid in 2 weeks because my babys mom is a cunt. My job is shit but it helps past the time throughout the week. I've been trying to exercise more often but most the time I have zero motivation. I find that hanging with friends helps, but it those nights where I'm diving into a bottle, alone with my thoughts that eats away at me everytime.

 

/hatesbitterbitchesoner

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but im going to talk to my PO on thursday about letting me go to a residential treatment facility for 30-90 days.

 

I got sober in Houston, did the whole treatment center tour many times a round.

if your serious about it, try the Right Step off montrose and alabama...all super good people. The Mens Center off main st. is the real deal though. at least hit up a meeting there..skid row no fucking around recovery. Its been a few years since ive lived there, theres a shitload of places though. give me a pm, ill try to get on here more than once every two months..

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probably because it is severely addictive and most people who develop opiate addiction end up suffering all types of shit.

 

just guessing here. think about it, they give people methadone to kick heroin addictions, if you are just some kid looking to get high and do not have a history of opiate use the shit is going to get you wrecked.

 

It's somewhere between 5-10 times stronger by weight and is much more readily assimilated into the body than morphine, which is why it's considerably more dangerous. If you drink and don't have any kind of tolerance to opiates it can kill you first time out the gate, so in my opinion the tradeoff for what it does is definitely not worth it.

 

If this were a different thread, I'd say "If you have to get high on something stick to weed."

 

But since this isn't really the place to be advocating that kind of behavior, I'll say "Try exercise or yoga, they work well too!" and feel kind of dumb, but it's not like it's the first time I've felt that way.

 

there are folks here who can speak on this from first hand experience. why are you curious are you trying to troll or are you serious?

 

Either way, harm reduction is important. If people had been straight with me when I was younger, I wouldn't have had to learn things the hard way, keep risky behavior secret, or deal with a bunch of unnecessary shame...if I can help someone avoid that, I will.

 

In other news...I've been drinking way less and eating somewhat better. I'm about to go live on a commune for part of the summer, so I'm going to try to make the best of that and avoid binge drinking (which is sort of a tradition there) as much as possible.

 

Good to see that most of you are doing well. Keep it up.

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