Alcoholism

[Monestar]

32oz Drifter Chug off

[anybody_wanna_peanut?]

why the fuck would you post this in here???? try to have some respect dick hole

[SPORTO]

A Drinking Song

 

WINE comes in at the mouth

And love comes in at the eye;

That's all we shall know for truth

Before we grow old and die.

I lift the glass to my mouth,

I look at you, and I sigh.

William Butler Yeats

[fat ralphy]

32oz Drifter Chug off

 

First things first, these guys drink like fucking pussies.

 

 

Think about it like this guys, for most of us who have a problem there is nothing anyone can really say or do that will make us stop.....like my whoodi TI said you gotta want it.

 

If anyone pressures you to talk in a meeting, get in their ear afterwards and tell them your new to this and you are not comfortable speaking on anything yet. Chances are that will lead to a conversation and before you know it you will get familiar with people and feel more comfortable. When they call on you all you have to say is, "No thanks, tonight I just came to listen." That should end it, if it doesn't say something because anyone pressuring a new comer is not working it right. I would also suggest that you talk to someone who has some time and you relate to.

 

Remember that AA isn't just meetings, those steps really help to get right. It took me 3 fucking years to get the balls to get a real sponsor and do the steps, that shit helped me to heal a lot of bad shit.

 

You dont need AA to get right, look at what POZ is saying....as time passes he is starting to understand himself and his problems. You don't need meetings to understand that, but it helps when you don't think you can do it on your own.

 

Look for the similarities not the differences. I was a drug addicted thieving scum fuck alcoholic graf writer, but when a drunken housewife says she would get trashed and chose alcohol over her own family....I can relate. 99% of us who are alcoholics/addicts manifest the same behaviors when we are using, thats the reason we can relate to people if we try to.

 

Props to all you guys just starting off, I took my last drink almost 5 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. It was the hardest thing until I realized it was the best thing and then it got easy.

 

Month and a half shy of 2 years CLEAN and sober....I wish I had stopped using drugs when I stopped drinking but I thought I knew it all and I could do things my way. I didn't and I couldn't....

 

Good to see the thread popping off a bit. Too bad I can't ever log in this motherfucker.....

 

If anyone ever needs any 411 on how the AA thing goes, get at me.

 

Keep it up fellas, its a hell of a lot easier then the alternative.

[Shittles..TasteTheAsshole]

 

Walk away.

[LUGR]

Watched a doc on Chris Herren last night, well worth checking out:

 

Chris Herren, a basketball legend from Fall River, Massachusetts, realized his dreams by playing for the Celtics in the NBA, only to lose it all to addiction before rising again with a new dream.

 

Herren’s basketball dreams began as a 6’2” guard at Durfee High School in Fall River, Massachusetts. A member of the Durfee High School team chronicled in Bill Reynold’s book, Fall River Dreams, Herren excelled on the basketball court becoming one of the top Division 1 prospects in the country. His high school highlights include 2,073 career points, Gatorade New England Player of the Year 1993-1994, Boston Globe Massachusetts Player of the Year 1992-1994 and a member of the 1994 McDonald’s All American team.

 

Attending Boston College his freshman year, he later transferred to California State University, Fresno to play for legendary coach Jerry Tarkanian. At Fresno State he was named to the All-WAC first team 1996 and 1997 and held school records in both assists and steals.

 

Herren’s basketball success concealed a darker side, and his dream soon became a nightmare of addiction—first alcohol, then cocaine, finally heroin. A chaotic and often uncertain college career plagued by drugs and rehab led to the NBA.

 

In 1999 he was drafted by the Denver Nuggets in the second round of the NBA Draft as the 33rd pick overall. After a year with the Nuggets, Chris was traded to the Boston Celtics where he suffered a season ending injury.

 

Trying to work his way back to the NBA, Herren played overseas until 2003 when he came back to the States. His alcohol and drug use escalated until he was found unconscious with a heroin needle hanging from his arm in the driver’s seat of his car.

 

After extensive rehabilitation stays, Chris has been drug-free and alcohol-free since August 1, 2008. Herren has refocused his life and dreams to put his sobriety and family above all else.

 

In June of 2009, Chris launched a basketball player development company, Hoop Dreams with Chris Herren, Inc. Since the summer of 2009 Chris has trained over 200 basketball players including some of the top basketball prospects in New England. Off the court he continues to share his story with audiences in the hopes of reaching just one person and making a difference in their life.

 

Chris resides in Portsmouth, RI with his wife and three children.

[injury]

ahh fall river

[Sleazeside Heights]

haven't had a drink in a week, haven't been drunk in a few. which my body needs a break.

Last time I was, I lost everything important on me, all my money, and my camera. Not even going to mention the embarrassing parts. yikes.

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

yeah booze/drugs will do that to you. glad your gettin it together man good shit

[fat ralphy]

always good to pump the brakes when shit is getting out of hand.

 

my brother has about 40 days which is huge.....i have been trying to lead by example, maybe it will work this time.

[LUGR]

That's great for your bro, you have definitely mentioned him in here before.

 

Had a rough one today, feeling alright now...

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

everyday struggle. wanna say fuck it but i dont. upset diaper

[LUGR]

Nice to feel the natural ups and downs of life instead of the exact same thing everyday (wake up feeling horrible go to sleep wasted and numb to everything), makes it worth it to me but does not necessarily make this any easier at times.

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

thats true. it is nice, but the stress and bullshit gets to me sometimes. boring ass friday nights when you aint doin shit cuz everyone you know is drinking. just one of thos days.

[fat ralphy]

checking in...

 

went to a meeting yesterday, dude came to out of a black out in a holding cell CO's tell him that he had killed a kid while driving drunk. crazy thinking about how much I used to drive shitfaced (everyday) and never had any consequences.

 

 

i decided I am just going to never log out, tired of the login problems...

 

hope all is well folks.

[fat ralphy]

almost forgot, I started classes to get my CAADAC

 

California Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counseling Certificate

 

This cert will be an asset in my line of work and obviously has personal relevance too..

[OhMyGosh!]

Ralphy! Thats awesome...I toyed with the idea of doing that also in my state. Its always appealed to me, but i never took it anywhere. Good luck homie! I may hit you up in the future to see how its going in a feeble attempt not be lazy and go for it myself.

 

Im still sober. Thats about all. Ive been super busy also. I went racking a few weeks ago...and as a result, ive been painting more. My head probably isnt in the greatest of spots..which means ive been acting more reckless. I cant remember the last time I spoke/met with my sponsor...i think that means I need a new one. Meh. I guess ive just kind of been coasting along....for better or worse. I dont feel awful, nor do i feel that great. Way better there where I was..but still a great deal of room for improvement. I guess I have something to look forward to..ha.

[japillahan]

last monday my 23-year-old cousin, after dealing with addiction (drugs/booze), mental and family issues took his own life. He had hung himself in his bathroom; this was (as far as I know) his second suicide attempt.

I, having dealt with the three aforementioned issues, was the "It-didn't-have-to-end-like-this" representative at the wake/service/funeral. I carried my 90-year-old grandmother to his casket and had to hold her as she collapsed. Hardest fucking thing I've ever had to do, maybe next to checking into rehab in the first place.

The last time I saw/ spoke to my cousin I was a dick to him for being the only person who missed the family reunion at christmas, and I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life.

here I am a week and a half later, and I still feel like complete shit.

 

If you're struggling, reach out.

If you susppect someone is struggling, reach out.

I already knew this, but knowing it means nothing if you don't use it.

[japillahan]

p.s. why don't I frequent this thread?

((Note to self))=--> Do

 

I hope everyone is alright

[OhMyGosh!]

Abusei..shits rough. My heart goes out to you. Keep your head up man. Although it feels awful now, you may be able to use this as an experience to help somebody else further down the line...it may be just what someone else needs to keep going. I had 2 different sponsees commit suicide..it took a while to get over for me. I spent weeks up in my head thinking how I could have been a better sponsor, maybe there was something else I could have done, bla bla bla. And I had the same thought that "it didnt have to end this way." At the risk of sounding insensitive, I came to the conclusion that apparently it did. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason..in my life, that has rung true. I was later able to use that experience along with what I did to get through it, to help somebody else. When it comes down to it, thats really all any of us has to offer...just our experiences.

 

Also.. "If you're struggling, reach out.

If you susppect someone is struggling, reach out.

I already knew this, but knowing it means nothing if you don't use it." ...very wise words right there.

[japillahan]

cool man thanks. Amidst all the fuckery on the oontz I'm honestly really glad that this thread is around.

I promised myself, but more importantly I promised Jimmy (cuz) that I would be for someone else what I could have been for him. I also promised him that I'd keep going strong (even though I also promised that to my granddad who had been sober for 30+ years, two years ago as well). I wrote him a letter that I left in his coffin.

Shit just still doesn't seem real, we weren't real close, but still.

Worst that's happened to me before this was having to take a sponsee to the psych ward at the wee hours of the morning.

 

Some don't make it so we can; but it doesn't mean it's easy.

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

Didnt know u were sober abusei. Real sorry about your loss. I'm glad you shared that and I'm glad your doing something positive because of it. If nothing else your story helped me keep it together another night. This shit is not a joke a killer for real. R.I.P. Jimmy.

[shai]

Abusei- sorry to hear about that.

[DonCheadle]

Best of luck through these hard times abusei

 

I'm on day 40 of sobriety here, my roommate is also. He's been doing 90 meetings in 90 days, I have been working solid almost every night so that's keepin me off the sauce. When my normal schedule resumes and I have 4 nights off per week, it'll be much harder.

[japillahan]

..perfect time to focus on yourself? (Meetings and whatever other shtuff you need to clear up).

Focusing on work is good to help stay distracted for the time being, but I doubt it would be a real fix in the long run.

Stay strong man, it's worth it.

What has helped my sobriety most in the past has been helping people with theirs.

 

 

 

I greatly appreciate the support from all y'all. There's a whole lot of fallout going on within my family which I guess is to be expected to a certain degree. This event has brought my siblings and two cousins closer together (at least me to them since they've always been tight and I tend to distance myself from people in general).

[LUGR]

Going on a trip with my mom and older brother to beer country (going for the scenery and not the beer). Mom and I both stopped drinking and admitted to ourselves that we can't handle this stuff no more. Brother, refuses and gets mad defensive when anybody tries to talk to him about his drinking or smoking. Will be interesting to see how much he blatantly drinks in front of us and what the outcomes are. As he gets drunk he becomes the utmost expert on every topic in the world and will argue and fight any opposing viewpoint...wish he would just stop.

 

This is the guy who took me to a bar when I was 11 years old and encouraged me to drink beer. Got me drunk that day and I thought he was the coolest brother ever for letting me hang out and kick it with him. I know it was still my choice to drink but is it wrong to blame him for my own addiction? I never really thought about it until recently when I was trying to analyze my drinking life and looking for the answer to "why" and "how" I got to this point. I guess it doesn't even matter at this point but I know that day so many years ago changed me forever.

 

Strength and will power to you all

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

i think like that too sometimes, like if i never hung out with this person would i still have got this bad? my addiction was to other drugs so its a bit different...but you gotta think if it wasnt your brother on that day would you have been exposed at some other point in your life? probably would have. I dont think its wrong to blame someone, but i know in my situation, i got introduced to a substance, and took off with it on my own. someone asked me the other day if i could have not done the drug what my life would be like. i hate questions like that, but i kinda decided if i hadnt done the one thing, it would have been something else, or drinking...so my answer was that i wouldnt change anything because im not doing anything today. Its easy to blame shit on other people..its harder to find the real underlying reasons as to why we become addicted. Good luck on that trip man.

[LUGR]

"Its easy to blame shit on other people..its harder to find the real underlying reasons as to why we become addicted."

 

I see what you're saying, thanks. I been thinking about it the rest of the day and it's not his fault at all. I worked really fuckin hard everyday on my own to get myself here.

 

Trip should be all good, actually really looking forward to it.

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

im not sayin that their havent been people who help push the addiction or make it easier to be addicted..but we all have free will and...at least in my case nobody was puttin drugs in my body but me. then again, being an 11 year old and hangin out with your cool older brother drinking...you cant blame yourself either. tricky situation.

 

have fun buddy.

[LUGR]

Trip was all good. Brother stayed wasted the entire time. I sipped some NA's, moms drank ginger beers. Few times she mentioned, "this would be a great time for some wine" wtf, you haven't drank in over a year, get that shit out of your head.