Alcoholism

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

lol you know how it is tho...i get that feeling after working hard all day or sometimes if its just really nice out ill be like damn, a beer would be perfect. i mean you were drinkin na's lol

[japillahan]

this stuff is awesome.

 

And as for the what if's ; I see them similar to the woulda coulda shoudla's. What's important is what you're doing now.

 

I Just had 2 good friends relapse. They're straight again, but didn't see either one of those coming.

 

Stay safe y'all

[PITOFZOMBIES]

Hit the 1 year mark in another 2 weeks or so.

Still floating damn near every day with the relief that i'm no longer at the hands of liquor.

Even a breakup with GF of almost a year has me thankful to be feeling it from reality's perspective. I still do not attend meetings... i'm just fine without them, though sometimes i yearn for a sober friend or two. I have continued tagging along with friends to bars... just sip that soda + lime.

 

Right now i am sitting in my boss's house (one of two awesome jobs i have these days) watching his animals while he's out of town. I feel completely out of place, very alone, very uncomfortable... but i am so happy. My mind is constantly at work, throughout every single day, and i wonder why i spent so much time stifling that. It feels unreal, these endless streams of relatively profound thought. This is something that i did not uncover until i quit drinking. I feel like i'm working toward something great. I have spent the past year climbing the tiers of my potential that i had lost for so long. I've been able to handle stressful situations with grace and poise that i couldn't have considered attempting while drinking. I've been a good friend, i've been a good boyfriend, i've been a good person. Life is fucking good.

 

I'm glad to hear that most of you are still working through this. Cool seeing new names in here as well.

 

I have a lot to say, but it needs to be written a little more coherently than i am [apparently] capable of right now... haha.

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

Come on with that shit...this is the one of the only threads that stays serious and on topic.

Zombies - congrats on the time man. More proof that it only gets better

[LUGR]

^It's all good IMO for posts like that. I used to do similar stuff in this thread when I was still in major denial and thought I was in control...part of the process for some...I think.

 

Fell 3 stories off a balcony, landed on my feet, fractured T11-L1 fusion, done drinking for a wwwwwwhile.

 

yo im drinking

Guess that "wwwwwwhile" didn't last too long.

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

Lol. Fair enough.

[gcriot05]

Hello everyone, just thought I would share my two cents on this topic.

 

First off I want to say good job to everyone for realizing that they have a problem with alcohol and doing something to change their life. I'm sure most of you hit a sort of "rock bottom" which made you realize that the change has to come.

 

My father passed away about three years ago and it had affected me and my mom greatly. Currently, it's just me and her living together. Ever since my fathers passing, my mom has been drinking heavily for these past 3 years. I can understand her pain from losing the love of her life, but I have also come to terms that she may be an alcoholic. I am constantly battling her in arguments and her unpredictable attitude. I try to help her cope with the pain by being someone she can talk to, but it seems to be no use.

 

I am not an alcoholic myself, but I live with one. It's hard to deal with the constant drinking and the responsibility always falls on my hands, because my mom is too drunk to do anything. Just wanted to share what I go through living with an alcoholic. It's not only hard on the alcoholic themselves, but it's also hard on the people that live with that alcoholic. Maybe this might help some of you realize that you are not only damaging yourself (your body) but that you may be harming the relationships around you, even if they are the people that care for you.

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

Riot. Quality first post man. Thanks for sharing that with us. Props man

[shai]

I've mentioned this before, but 90% of the problems that I go through with booze/drugs are with other people and how they deal with their intake.

 

My drinking/etc. has been kind of a mixed bag lately. There are times where what I do applies to the situation, but sometimes it feels like I'm just doing it because I don't know what else to do....which is totally not true on one hand but I tend to do what works in the moment and not let the details concern me.

 

Needless to say my depression and anxiety are not helping with this, but I'm still not at the point where I want to try medication again. Getting closer, though.

[fat ralphy]

Riot, if you haven't heard of Al-Anon check it out, may be helpful.

 

 

I am learning some amazing things in this CAADAC program....

 

Pharmacology/Physiology of Addiction

 

There are so many things pointing in the direction of alcoholism and addiction being genetic.

 

A bunch of neuroscience seems to suggest that our brains actually do function differently than a "normie". In those regards, we have created neurological pathways in our brains that have essentially programmed drugs and alcohol into our wiring. The good thing is that behavioral modifications and other therapy etc allow us to recreate the neurological paths that we have established, essentially re-wiring our brains.

 

In fact the prefrontal cortex of the brain of many addicts/alcoholics shows damage, this area of the brain is responsible for our self monitoring, social thinking, abstract thought and moral behavior etc. The process of attending meetings (involving social interaction) and "working the steps" (involving abstract thought and moral behavior) may strengthen the prefrontal cortex and help with abstinence .

 

^^^That stuff comes from a book written by Doctors, nothing to do with AA

[LUGR]

Would be interested to hear more stuff about that Ralphy. I def think that it is a combination of genetic and learned behavior (often times from family). After taking a close look at my nuclear and extended family and seeing the patterns of abuse/addiction that I ignored while I was drunk it is pretty obvious. It actually really bothers me that my family accepts/ignores family members who have major problems with drinking and just let them be. They seem to just fully accept the fact they are full blown alcoholics and do nothing to try and make changes. Now this behavior has been popping up in the next generation...seems like my family is constantly in a drinking competition with themselves.

 

I definitely feel that my ability for "self monitoring, social thinking, abstract thought and moral behavior etc." is/has been damaged or is dysfunctional for a long time.

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

 

im reading this now, pretty cool and inspirational if your into punk/hardcore...theres good stuff in here even if your not

[fictionator]

I need to visit this thread more often, i have been steadily ignoring a large problem that I have with the sauce and need to recognize and realize my situation. Im very tired of waking up or sometimes not waking up and feeling like absolute garbage only to feel better by drinking more.

 

hope everyone is well, wish me luck homies.

[ClueTwo]

I'd love to read more, but I keep telling myself I can do this on my own.

 

When most of you stopped completely did you have to distance yourself from all of your old friends?

[Sleazeside Heights]

That book sounds like a good read. Can you tell us a little more about it? I assume It's mostly 80's, some 90's era stuff.

 

After work lately, I've been avoiding the liquor stores...only to be hitting up the fast food drive-through. ughh.

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

yea the book is interviews with various people within the straight edge "movement" um ian mackaye manliftingbanner, a dutch straight edge band, refused...and a few others i cant remember off the top of my head. it also documents the straight edge scene in other countries, israel, sweden, poland, and the usa. It has "manifestos" by a few diffrent straight edge heads....havent gotten to this part yet but it looks like essays from band members and collectives like crimethInc, alpine anarchist productions, and the Emancypunx project. Its also got a section of reflections and another section of perspectives. The ian mackaye interview was awesome...ill post some more when i finish it up. The books is actually pretty recent, like 2009 i think but it covers history and current issues i believe

 

good for you man, the lesser of two evils lol. are you tryin to get sober?? or just cuttin back?

[morton]

When most of you stopped completely did you have to distance yourself from all of your old friends?

 

When I quit water soluble narcotics I everyone I knew who used them out of my life for a while. As time passed a couple good friends died, some folks just sort of went in a direction that makes talking to them now pointless and a couple I am still in contact with years later as they are genuine friends that I can spend time with regardless of whether or not they are using.

 

When I quit drinking I did not really find it necessary to cut anyone out of my life but will say that I have very little interest in hanging around people who are drinking mainly because I find it boring. I never noticed it when I was drinking but now that I am sober it is really tiring to see that drunk people basically just repeat themselves over and over again.

 

I like to drink iced tea and people watch at like bars with outdoor seating in the summer or play pool, so if someone wants to grab a drink or whatever I will roll with em, but not for the sort of duration I used to when I was drinking.

[fat ralphy]

cosign ^^^

 

2 years clean yesterday

 

5 years without a drink next month

 

its worth it fellas...the more I learn about the body and central nervous systems response to drugs and alcohol the more I realize that I stopped way before really fucking myself permanently. After using for years we damage our dopamine and seratonin process etc. essentially making us huge risk for depression and other mental health concerns etc.

 

keep it up dudes, if you're wondering it is worth it....

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

Congrats ralphy that's huge man

[DonCheadle]

Day 60 of sobriety.

 

Had a few O'Douls Amber N/A beers at a party on Friday night, the first time I've been in an atmosphere with drinking in some time.

 

I miss that bar scene, all the females, knowing all the regulars, chilling with all the other service industry people in the hood after work, and the drink hookups between our respective bars. Then I think about how those nights always end in a blackout or with drugs, and the dark feeling the next day as I wake up at 4pm looking for advil and gatorade.

 

What has been accomplished: Saving money, not doing drugs, feeling more energetic and clearer thoughts on everything.

[japillahan]

I'm glad to hear about people doing well.

I decided on october 2nd yesterday that October would be a better month than September.

Cousin killing himself, getting a crushing flu, almost failing my last semester at community college (for christ sake) only to have my girlfriend break up with me to top it off. Sucked.

That being said, being sober I have much more to be grateful for than to lament about losing. Granted it sucks, but drinking would have only made it worse... Much worse.

Time to head off for class and do what I can to not kerplunk my classes.

Stay strong y'all

[LUGR]

the more I learn about the body and central nervous systems response to drugs and alcohol the more I realize that I stopped way before really fucking myself permanently. After using for years we damage our dopamine and seratonin process etc. essentially making us huge risk for depression and other mental health concerns etc.

 

keep it up dudes, if you're wondering it is worth it....

Def worth it, congrats to everybody heading in that direction.

 

Would like to hear more about that as you learn Ralphy. Or if you have any recommended reading that would be great.

 

My latest realization (over the last month and a half) has been focusing on the diet and excersize aspects of my life. Trying to correct the big picture and not just "stopping" the substance abuse problems. So I set some new guidelines for how I am living. I allow myself to eat out of the house 1 meal a day (lunch close to work). The rest of the time I cook and eat whole foods at home. Also, excersize everyday. I mean, I felt good just stopping drinking, but something was missing. By combining the diet and excersize aspects it has really brought the big picture together for me. Just trying things and figuring out what feels right and works for me.

 

Hitting a year this month, literally feels like last month sitting in this exact same chair when I was trying to deal with stopping my abuse...def one of the best decision I have made (and toughest, crazy to think I could spend a year just bouncing the idea of trying to stop around in my head with out being able to take action before). Been through alot this year, but am starting to understand how I need to live to be happy. Still a struggle, but it sure feels good.

[japillahan]

Congratulations man that's huge.

I'm pretty lazy so I quit taking the bus and just rode bikes to wherever i needed to go. Then I dealt with a small bike and bike-part-buying compulsion that I have since gotten over (i Hope), but still ride for fun and for getting around.

I had to learn to defeat myelf defeating myself because that's all I did before. To get clean and healty isnt just to stop the booze; I had to fix my brain as well as the body.

Props yo

[xen]

Day seven and got my temporary sponsor today.

 

I had been court ordered to AA a few times in the past and went into with the "fuck these lames" mentality, sign this so I can get fucked up.

 

I had been to beyond what most would consider rock bottom, tried all the standards, I'll just drink beer, I won't drink in the morning, Nah babe, I'll quit for you only to find myself lower than before. I bottomed out this time and had to go to medical detox. The DT's were fucking horrible this round but I got through them and headed to the first meeting I could find.

 

About a year ago a good friend of mine that I'd come up through the ranks with showed up.

This is the dude I lived in the bars with, open to close for a year. I'd hit all the trains with. I'd done all the dope with. That once shit out my window on methadone because he couldn't make it to the bathroom. Man, dude looked good. The shell I'd once known was long gone. I offered him a beer and he said he hadn't been fucked up in over 4 years. He didn't say a thing about AA or shy away because I was drinking. I'm sure he quit coming around, as morton said, because I was boring as fuck.

 

One hell of a year later I decided I wanted what he had and hit them up. I'm sure this euphoria is just like any other new drug and eventually will just become normal. I am cool with this. I don't have the obsession to drink like I did and only hope it continues.

 

*Heh, post 2000 in 8 years. maybe my 20th sober post out of all of them.

[xen]

[japillahan]

Props man that is awesome.

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

good shit xen

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

god damn fridays are the worst. i wanna drink and im anxious like a mother fucker.

 

oh yeah i was thinkin about this earlier today, how cool would a 12oz aa meeting be? i thought that would be really fuckin awesome. I would go to a lot more meetings if i could find ones with cool heads and not just housewives bitching about child support, people who are clearly high/drunk, and people who are there sharking(preying on the weak to sell drugs, have someone to use w) anyway be good fellas

[shai]

Maybe an online meeting via something like Tinychat?

 

Even though I don't embrace temperance like most of you I think that's a pretty cool idea. I would probably check it out just to see what it was like.

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

Yeah I'm totally down for that. It's tough b/c most posters in here aren't frequently checking in here but i think we could set it up and maybe get one goin in the next few weeks for sure. Maybe ralphy would be down to run it..lor LUGR...I believe ralphy has the most time under his belt in here, followed by LUGR? I'm really not sure...shit I'd run it if no one else wants to. Shai that'd be cool to sit in as long as your not drinking or fucked up. How about Oct.14th, or Oct.21th? I was thinking Sunday would work out best for most people? Lemme know what you guys think about this... I think this has potential to be really fuckin cool.

-Peanut