Kannum Playt Posted July 16, 2001 Share Posted July 16, 2001 My most embarrassing moment involving the noisy barking spider hiding out in my back pocket was during the 5th grade. There was an assembly in the cafeteria and for some reason I thought I could pull an SBD. Instead, my moment of breaking wind was more like a dry hand rubbing across a desk or leather chair. I suddenly found myself in one of those dark moments in time when everything seems to move slower, light gets dimmer and nothing but disgusted faces filled the void. I simply tried my best at playing it cool and said, "What the hell ya'll looking at?" The most creepy but relieving part of the whole ordeal was that I was never teased for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*see-phore* Posted July 16, 2001 Share Posted July 16, 2001 the same thing here but it was in third grade in class loud as hell and i got teased for it harshly....ever since then when ever its going to happen i just pray and try to let it out slow........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suburbian bum Posted July 16, 2001 Share Posted July 16, 2001 Can girls fart? I dont think hot ones can... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*see-phore* Posted July 16, 2001 Share Posted July 16, 2001 i think they use plugs of some sort Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jarryd Posted July 16, 2001 Share Posted July 16, 2001 haha elementary is the opposite of high school when people fart in HS they are applauded or something along those lines haha cuz damn its hella funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krs702 Posted July 16, 2001 Share Posted July 16, 2001 at school i hold my fart... i also hate it when someone farts and the stench flies right by you.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted July 16, 2001 Share Posted July 16, 2001 I once farted right in the middle of English class in 4th grade, SO HARD it lifted me off my seat. No joke, I actually hovered for the duration of the fart. Thankfully I thought quickly, turned around, and blamed it on the kid behind me, who was busy drawing on the desk. Everyone laughed at the poor kid AND he got busted by the teacher for drawing on the desk. It was an asshole thing to do (no pun intended), but desperate times call for desperate measures. Beer, El Mamerro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 I was with my friends at the mall, and I saw the perfect girl, 5'8", shoulder length blonde hair, cute face, C cup breasts, Beautiful hips shown off by low raise jeans. She was perfect, so I went over to her and just started a normal "hey how's it going" conversation. So my friend decides it's a good idea to ruin this opertunity that was goign so well. He walks over, "Hey we are gonna go over to hot topic real quick, we'll be back." So he is about to walk away and he drops his shopping bag and bends over to pick it up. At this point his ass is like right in this poor girl's face (we were sitting down) and he lets this huge fart rip right in her face. He then picked up his bag and walked away like nothing happened. She then told me my friends were assholes and walked away. I was soo embrassed/pissed off. I almost made my friend walk home from the mall. ------------------ Girls suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suburbian bum Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 I hold my farts in and i just burp up the gas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpo Marx Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 Originally posted by MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega: I was with my friends at the mall, and I saw the perfect girl, 5'8", shoulder length blonde hair, cute face, C cup breasts, Beautiful hips shown off by low raise jeans. She was perfect, so I went over to her and just started a normal "hey how's it going" conversation. So my friend decides it's a good idea to ruin this opertunity that was goign so well. He walks over, "Hey we are gonna go over to hot topic real quick, we'll be back." So he is about to walk away and he drops his shopping bag and bends over to pick it up. At this point his ass is like right in this poor girl's face (we were sitting down) and he lets this huge fart rip right in her face. He then picked up his bag and walked away like nothing happened. She then told me my friends were assholes and walked away. I was soo embrassed/pissed off. I almost made my friend walk home from the mall. that's one of the funniest stories ive ever heard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpo Marx Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 Here's Mine: I'm sitting there in 6th grade math class and all is quiet on the northern front, about 30 seconds to the end of class: then WHAPOW! one of the juiciest things i've ever let fly in my entire career. The scary thing was that all I got was laughs about the rauncy burst of breeze and I wasn't harrassed. It must have been the fumes of it that messed up people's memories. haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vmer101 Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 i don't have them w/ farts but i always have to do gross dumps at the most awkward times when i'm far from any restroom..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charles_bronson Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 at work i stand in front of a huge fan and fart so people all over the store can smell it. ------------------ xxxstraightedgexxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tue skinny Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 I WAS STTIN IN 6TH GRADE CLASS AND THE TEACHER WAS GIVING ME A SPEECH ON RUDENESS AND EVERONE WAS DEAD SILENT LOOKKIN AT ME AND SHIT THEN OUT OF NO WHERE I LET A HUGE ONE RIP WHILE THE TEACHER WAS TALKIN TO ME. IT WAS REALLY EMBARASSING.EVERONE TEASED ME IN THE HALLS AND AT LUNCH BUT I JUST BEAT EM UP IF THEY WOULD MAKE THE BIGGEST DEAL OUT OF IT... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chizm Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 i hate to break it to you all but, girls DO fart, and they poo too! MUA HA HA!!! ESCPECIALLY the hot girls!! BA HA HA HA HA HA!!! excpet me, of course. i don't fart, or poo, or eat. girls who do that are gross. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retard warfare Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 once i farted and i set off the car alarm.. i was sitti right on the arm rest were it is located. i made the whole super market parkinglot look at me http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//smile.gif'>.hhehehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWhiteRabbit Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 one time i was sitting there in class and i farted and at the same time some kid made a fake fart he yelled some other kids name and every one blamed it on this kid who didint do any thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zack Morris Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 ok there was this kid that I was really good friends with when I was younger, like 3 until I was like 10. anyways his parents were really religious catholics and would make us go to church. we were all sitting there praying the church was completely silent then all of the sudden this eruption of wind burst from my anus. Wooden pews, wooden floors, the acoustics of this church were magnificent. a few people laughed and giggled and others gave me dirty looks. the only things I oculd do was I leaned over to my friend and with a shit eaating grin said "sorry it slipped"..I wasn't really embarassed though, but its still funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOE-FOO Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 mines probally math class freshman year..i had been holding one in for about halfway through my algebra test , but all sudden...dange struck. i had to sneeze , i tried to no sneeze , i really tried. but alas i sneezed ( for some reason when you sneeze you loose all control of your bowel or fart control) and ripped not quite a loud one , but enough to get the attention of all people within 5 desks... but i dunno , the whole experience was fucking funny because of the sneeze before hand , maybe people thought i was trying to hide the fart by sneezeing... [This message has been edited by TOFU_UFOT (edited 07-17-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades_blue Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 Originally posted by suburbian bum: Can girls fart? I dont think hot ones can... HA! so you think! Usually some of them are very open about it and don't care. (When in company of friends.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MASk! Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 thats just smelly. try farting out a little shit and waddling to the nearest restroom trying to act like nothings up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubejinxed Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 why is it that bodily functions are funny? (i'm not saying they're not but..) ------------------ high plains drifter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kannum Playt Posted July 17, 2001 Author Share Posted July 17, 2001 I've had a few Hershey Squirts. It's gross cuz picture a fart bubble filled with a lil' bit of poop juice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T.W.F UNABOMBER Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 like 2 weeks ago i was with my mans and them he was with one of his hoes and her moms be puffin she came out askin my mans where the herb at, then she farted and grabbed her ass and was like "uoo" and stood there with her hand on her ass. more funny then embarrisang. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JinkZ aNd BrainZ Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 ha forget the whole trying to let it slide out then being all embarrased. i'd much rather be like hey guys here it comes or some stupid shit liek that to make a joke about it. but not acting like it is "cool" to do it or anything like that just basiclly liek hey guys its gonna happen either way most people unless they take them selves to serious will laugh or wont care. saves that whole embarrasment factor that u will hafta go through. JINKS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tow up from tha flow up ! Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 In 4th grade I got paired up with my elementry school crush, Danny Foley, to do an art project. I was really nervous and had the butterflys. All the sudden I sneezed, without any warning, and let out this really loud fart, it backfired off that little plastic chair and made this one sylable poof that sounded more like a chair squeaking on tile than a fart. I got reeeeally embarrassed and my face turned a neoteric shade of purple. Danny was like, why's your face turning so red? I pretended like I hit my hand on the desk really hard when I sneezed, and no one ever knew. Thank got girl farts don't smell http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//wink.gif'> ------------------ PRUDE - If I had nuts, you'd be on 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zack Morris Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 Originally posted by tow up from tha flow up !: Thank got girl farts don't smell http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//wink.gif'> bullshit...a girl fell asleep last night with her ass pressed up against my leg, she farted on my leg and jesus christ the smell was awful....she should have named it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_Tesseract Posted July 18, 2001 Share Posted July 18, 2001 I went out on a club about 4 years ago with a friend of mine his girlfriend annd her sister.We had a good time drnking laughing etc.We left and went to the girls house,my friend and his chick went to the bedroom,and we stayed watching tv,we started kissing hugging and stuff.and, on hugging phase,she fell asleep right on me. I wasnt feeling sleepy but i didnt wanted to wake her up,so i stayed there.Her ass was right on my belly. I started feeling an enormous gas pressure,she woke up for a while and then fell again. This was going on all night long,i couldnt fart cause i was sure she would wake. I really started to suffer and i closed my eyes for a while,actually i fell asleep,when i woke up 20 minutes later feeling great. I suposse i farted in my sleep,we had it going on for a week and then broke up. What i still dont know is if she heard, smelled or got in anyway infected by my fart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dBUSH Posted July 18, 2001 Share Posted July 18, 2001 It's kinda disturbing we remember so many details regarding our flatulence. I busted a resonating thunderclap doing leg-presses at the gym once. That was funny cause the harder I tried to hold it in the louder it got. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eyeBddub Posted July 18, 2001 Share Posted July 18, 2001 last year i went to filipino independance day with a bunch of my flip friends and i was part of the event's show because i was in a bboy show for the night .. dinner was before the dancing and i had to take a mad piss so i went into the bathroom and i seen some old guy go into the stall, picture a really old filipino guy dude sits down and you can't hear anything so i start to piss at the urinal and man this old guy starts letting out these squeekers and i start laughing cause they sound so funny; dude doesn't skip a beat he just keeps sitting there letting out these fucken funny farts like nothings happenning, i was laughing so hard i could barely pee straight and i almost went on my shoes a few times hahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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