injury Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Saw this in the awful "if you could make a thread about anything ... " thread full of fail. What have yall done to get fired or in trouble at work? Ill start it off but my stories are pretty docile 'cause my work history isnt that eventful. The most ridiculous thing ive gotten in trouble for was being accused of fucking a 13 year old that used to come into my work. Awful fuckin situation. I was 5 years older at the time, and she had some type crush on me which she would play up as much as possible, i dunno what kind of fucking house she was raised in but she wanted to fuck all the time. She was one of those types who matured fast so she had tits and all too. So one day I get a call from my boss who asks me to come down to the office and sit down with him. dude asked me about her and me and how people who came into where I worked on a repeat basis always saw this girl skanked out and talking to me and were "concerned" since (i learned) she came from a fucked up home and shit. Turns out i lived right around the corner from her too so when I'd bike home people would see me in the neighborhood and assume. Loss. Then some weird kid who worked there the next summer did, sex offenders gonna sex offend. He was 22, she was 15. He got arrested and charged with harassment and other minor shit in some sort of a plea deal/her family didn't press charges situation. I think the family got a restraining order ... i wasnt home to see it happen, heard about it from my brother. my story wasn't funny, but i had to share somethin' ... GO. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acer910 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 ive left front doors open a few times, that shits always funny. we got in trouble for smoking pot in this screenprinting shop i worked at, we had the back garage door thing open cus its hot as balls in there during the summer and a customer came in at 9pm and told our boss. he didnt really care though cus he would rail pills all the fucking time in his office. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 some junkie tried to fight me for my spot in the unemployment line the other day. that the closest i got Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 we tied a couple salmon carcasses to my sous chefs car, tucked it under his bumper so he wouldn't see it, then let him leave on some errands which were supposed to take 15 minutes. about 2 hours later he came back, furious, because he'd been stopped by the police for animal cruelty and some other shit, several people had called him in for 'dragging a live cat with his car.' it was sorted out and everything was fine, but he was real mad. we all lolled for months. ---- i was working at a grocery store for a bit and each department head had a in store-phone that could page or call direct lines. our store manager figured out that 'code 10 in x department' meant "super hot girl, come leave whatever you're being paid to do to come make a scene and get the store in trouble for sexual harassment." was great fun. ----- a different restaurant, we got the mexican prep cooks some halloween blood and a decent looking fake hand, made a real gorey cutting board mess and called the sous to the back all screaming, she fainted. hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keepitrail Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 My good friend in Memphis quit his job after they made him clean up poop at Michaels. I've never had a job for more than three months. I quit all my jobs before I get fired or bored I did work for three weeks as a software supprot tech. People would call in and we'd get them to screenshare with us, and we were supposed to close it after we solved their problem or gave up, but I never did. One guy opened up a porn site immediately after getting off the phone. He had said he was at work and was having trouble with the tax software and his boss was yelling at him. I still had control of his mouse and fullscreened it, turned up the volume to max, and shook the mouse whenever he tried to close it. This lasted for about ten minutes before my floor boss or whatever came over and made me close it. I didn't hide it, I thought it was funny and I didn't give a fuck if I got fired. I quit a few days later. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acer910 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 always good to quit while your ahead, that way you never have to say you were terminated from your previous job! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Saw this in the awful "if you could make a thread about anything ... " thread full of fail. What have yall done to get fired or in trouble at work? Ill start it off but my stories are pretty docile 'cause my work history isnt that eventful. The most ridiculous thing ive gotten in trouble for was being accused of fucking a 13 year old that used to come into my work. Awful fuckin situation. I was 5 years older at the time, and she had some type crush on me which she would play up as much as possible, i dunno what kind of fucking house she was raised in but she wanted to fuck all the time. She was one of those types who matured fast so she had tits and all too. You should have fucked her on the low then denied it. If you're gonna get blamed for the shit then you might as well have experienced it at least. I lost my virginity to a 13 year old, but she said she was 15 and was way more mature than me so that doesn't really count. Plus them were different times back then. If you were a virgin after 7th grade you were a total loser. Bitch fucked and sucked like a champ too. I had to stop her from sucking my dick because I almost nutted in her mouth, and to this day it takes a LOT for a bitch to actually make me nut from head. Less than a handfull have ever even accomplished that feat. TMI? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOOGLE? Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 banned from labor read for the next 56 years for dipping my finger in a vat of biohazard turtlewax wet&black and the putting said finger in my mouth.. 40 bucks as a dare..in hindsight if i knew people would shit a brick all around i woulda done it anyway. and thats all labor readys across america im banned from 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Oh but on topic though, this big ass nigga who was fresh out the pen got hired on as a bus boy at this restraunt where I was bar backing back in the day. It was kinda a ritzy ass place too, but while I was telling him not to do some dumb ass shit that he was doing he decided to get all loud and start cursing me out in front of all these old rich people. In an attempt at giving dude a good look, I told him to chill and lets talk about it around the corner behind the bar (out of view of the customers). Somehow he took that as me calling him out to fight though, so as soon as we turned the corner this damn near 7 foot ass motherfucker grabs me by my shirt and jacks me up against the wall like he was about to fuck me up. Not even thinking I instinctively grabbed his hands and twisted them until i felt and heard one of them pop and crunch in my hand. Security rushed up and deaded the shit. I was told to chill at home for a couple days then come see the boss on Tuesday. Tuesday rolls around and I show up to see said big ass nigga also waiting to see the boss with his entire lower arm all casted up and shit. We get called in separately, and when it's my turn the boss asks what happened. I told him exactly what happened. He tells me that it's company policy that the both of us get fired. And so I got fired that Tuesday. On my fucking birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 dipping my finger in a vat of biohazard turtlewax wet&black and the putting said finger in my mouth.. All internet beef aside, I had no idea you were this stupid. I'm not gonna be a dick by hoping you get cancer though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bed framed Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 well I didn't get fired from this job, but business was slow and they hired way too many people so I guess they let me and my friend go without warning (newer employees, never got called back) Anyway I worked at this place for about a year. The very first day my friend and I got hired we got high and drunk as fuck with the owner. We were both underage at the time(I believe I was 16), the owner(husband) was a complete idiot, and the co-owner(wife) didn't really appreciate us getting wasted before we even completed a job for them. Not to mention this was at their home! I think I puked at the bus stop when we were leaving which was exactly across the street from them in plain sight. We started work the next week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I got arrested on the sales floor of *moderately well known electronics retailer* while I was acting manager, for a warrant the next county over. The cops came because the regional manager gave me the wrong alarm code (I was only acting manager while the real manager was on vacation; they had recently fired the assistant manager for stealing a credit card that a customer had accidentally left at the register and used it across the street to buy 2000$ worth of PS3s, Xbox360s, and games, so I was the only one left to fill in). I set off the silent alarm thinking I had turned it off just fine. The cops came while I was booting up the registers for the morning, I unlocked the door, they took my ID to fill out the false alarm report, I lock back up and get the systems up for the day, come back and the cops are still there. I figured they were there to buy some little adapters for their walkie talkies; police were always buying little adapters and stuff like that. They said that I had a warrant and they had to run me in right then, so they handcuffed me on the sales floor right there, took my keys, and locked the place up. I was the only employee there, so a manager from a store a few miles away had to come and pick up the keys from the cops. Needless to say, I am not welcome back for employment at any of *unnamed electronics chain store*, but my manager was nice enough to list me as "rehirable" in the national database when he got back from vacation, so I can still use it as a reference Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 but my manager was nice enough to list me as "rehirable" in the national database when he got back from vacation, so I can still use it as a reference How does that shit work? What is this "National data base" that you speak of? I was under the impression that prospective employers can only ask former employers if you worked there during the time that you said. (Somebody told me that was the law or some shit) I always say that I was "laid off", even from jobs that I was fired from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I worked in a chain toy store in college, Towards the end of my time there I started paging the whole store and humming in a loud off pitch manor to whatever song was on the radio before hand........ I used to do carry outs at christmas and told this asshole to park in the handicapped parking while doing a return..............His 500 dollar ticket was issued,and he said I had to pay for it,I just walked it off laughing but my my boss was pissed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOOGLE? Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 All internet beef aside, I had no idea you were this stupid. I'm not gonna be a dick by hoping you get cancer though. what ...you want a gold star sticker or some shit for mature life choices ? fuck outta here mr. givemyopinionevenwhenitwasntaskedfor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyWay Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Look in the terrible adults thread, I post most of my fun in there. Usually relates to playing pranks/scaring other employees. When I was real young I worked at McDonalds and some bish came through drive through asking for a Big Mac with no meat. I made a tray of em and forgot about her no meat one so I just took the patties off but the blood was already dripping on the bread etc etc. 15 minutes later bitch comes back screaming fukn crazy about it, boss comes out back and asks whodunit? I blame this retarded fuck who just clocked off :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Skateboarding, smoking opium, being late. In that order. (only been fired from three jobs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rolling nowhere Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I got fired for stealing boxes on my day off. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eviltrailer77 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Summer job at a chain hardware store between junior and senior year of high school. It was a new location, that had just opened and was still building up stock. I was low man on the totem pole, so I had to unload the trucks that came in and break down the pallets. Well, shipments of paint that came in got a couple cases tossed in to the cardboard dumpster, then I would come back at nite and grab em. Lasted about 2 months, every Tuesday like clockwork. The manager accused me of it, thought I was taking it and selling it at the flea market. I played the high and mighty offended by the accusations card, and quit on the spot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crime stoppers Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 they say you never get high when you smoke the first time, so when i smoked the second time i was absolutely fucked. unfortunately, it was working at hungry jacks (burger king but in w.a, exact same company) and i was only around 15-16. so we went back to work, i was bad enough at my job, but with this i was less than useless. i got taken sent home a few hours later with a bag full or burgers and a look of pity and anger from my manager. i smoked and worked at three different jobs successfully, well, made it through with written warnings and shit. but nothing looks worse than a kid trying to work productively after the first time he has gotten properly stoned in his life. and having other stoners around laughing their asses off at you. i quit a few weeks later, i called my manager from the beach and told her im not coming in again and hung up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mewzer Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 you smoked weed for the first time at 16? LOOOL 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 i used to work in a kitchen where all the chefs were total arseholes... there was a wee toilet beside the kitchen at the back where all the chefs would get changed and swerve working... so i went in put the seat and the lid down on the toilet and took a massive shit on top of the lid... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crime stoppers Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 you smoked weed for the first time at 16? LOOOL yeah, 15-16ish. i spent years 5-9 at a private school until i was expelled for being a total dickhead. then i went to a public highschool in the city, things went sharply down/uphill from there, depending on how you view drinking, smoking and having sex. if i had have been at that school any younger, i would have been far worse off than i am now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I worked at a self storage place once in college, all alone on Sundays for only 4 hours. Was quiet most days, I wouldn't do shit but sit in a lobby and take payments. But that day I got a call on the phone. A nigguhbitch. She was nice at first, but after I explained that she couldn't get access to her storage unit until she paid $200 in overdo fines, she went all nigguhbitch on me, screamed through the phone and hung up. Would have left it alone. But I was bored. I called her back, was gonna be all "hey we lost connection... ;)". It's ringing... only not "ringing", playing some "church gospel praise jeebus music" ringtone that you hear on your end instead of ringing... then 2 seconds into the song STRAIGHT TO VOICEMAIL.... OH NO SHE DI'INT... it was about 12:30pm on a Sunday afternoon. "I KNOW ONE OF GODS CHILDREN DIDN'T JUST CALL UP AND ACT THE DAMN FOOL ON MY TELEPHONE COMING STRAIGHT FROM CHURCH ON THIS BEAUTIFUL DAY OF OUR LORD!" were the first words out of my mouth when I called her back a second time from my personal cell phone.... she promptly apologized for her behavior, I forgave her, and said have a blessed day (lol). I get a call the next day before work to come to head office. The bitch was threatening to sue the company because she felt I had "identity thefted her information from company files"... bitch it's called caller ID.... she did have reason to sue since I did use MY cell phone, not the company line, so I got fired... fuck em :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 you smoked weed for the first time at 16? LOOOL so what? I was doing acid on the regular before I smoked weed regularly , on some "weed is bad for your brain, acid expands the mind" shit... I mean not saying I was 16 either when I first smoked, I had to know I didnt like it somehow, but don't be that "OMG I SMOKED WEED LIKE 4 YEARS BEFORE YOU!!!" guy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 How does that shit work? What is this "National data base" that you speak of? I was under the impression that prospective employers can only ask former employers if you worked there during the time that you said. (Somebody told me that was the law or some shit) I always say that I was "laid off", even from jobs that I was fired from. if you work for a national chain, they have a central database of all their employee records. This is why every chain store has a "have you ever worked at another location" question, so if you click yes, and then they ask you where, they can go in their database and confirm your training or whatever trouble you got in (warnings, suspensions, firings) - so most national chains have a status list as "rehirable" or "unhirable" - if you walk out on your manager screaming "Fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuu im out" in front of customers, they log you in the national database as unhirable, with a note why in the file, and you can never work for Best Buy (not where I worked, but all places do this) in CA after stealing on the clock at Best Buy NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Showed up still drunk. Cussing too much. Told to go home. Didnt check the schedule. Got switched to Sunday from Saturday. Never showed up. Boss calls me asking WHY WHY WHY. "Forgot and now I don really care seeya" Fired This was 2 weeks in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
publicenemyno.3 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 once told a lady to choke on her own vomit while working in a call center during high school. got fired for that pretty quickly. i've been accused of doing shit a ton of times. i was accused of stealing video games from delivery trucks when i worked for fedex in college. turns out it was the nigra that worked in the same delivery bay as me. i also got accused of pissing in the five gallon water jugs at the hardware store i worked at. i also was accused of smearing shit all over the bathroom at the same hardware store. the finally fired me for being late a few times. they kinda hated me there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 All internet beef aside, I had no idea you were this stupid. I'm not gonna be a dick by hoping you get cancer though. "MOOGLE? 06-09-2006, 09:00 PM so i got fired from my temp job cause i dipped my finger in a biohazard bucket full of turtle wax wet n black and proceeded to injest about a tablespoon of it.. also i found out you can get the shits if you snort hand sanitizer.. friday..bar..bands...resumed conversations with skinheads about astarte and evidence of this worship in modern religions..after bar ..sleep saturday.. yard sale hunting and thrift shopping with a lady friend o mine.. then later on to watch the toxic avenger 1,2 with a bowl and icecream.... chill at home and tinker around on fl studio(learned myself how to make dubstyle remixes using only the slicer and a few delay and reverb effects)...girl gets offa work...have some how you doin lovin..boot her out and tinker with fl some more..sleep. sunday..prolly vacuum, listen to ragga jungle all day and finish up tom robbins "skinny legs and all"...sleep. monday. head to meh real job and face the horrible women coworkers who by mid-noon their perfumes will have fused together to form the scent of vagina and mustard...head home and sleep that is all" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOOGLE? Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 and not a single fuck was given Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.