Dick Quickwood Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 i could post some good ones in this thread if i remembered them. i heard this gem at work, most people there are like maude flanders. "i can't believe she lets her drink wine, i wrote a letter to dear abby about it, but sometimes she doesn't give good answers". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crime stoppers Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 girl at school told me she was half jewish.........last time i checked judaism was a religion, not race? "snake in wolves clothing" instead of wolf in sheeps clothing. .......i know of a lot better ones but i cant think of them at the moment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prime Chaos Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 bitch i knew said that she was one quarter hillbilly. i laughed but she didnt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 "Ahhhhh.... suck!.... suck!... ahhhhhh!!!!!" ^Coming from my pops and stepmoms room one night when I was like 16. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KM4RT Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 ^ ahahahahaha on the train............both were about 18-20........... "girl 1: where does cancer come from?" "girl 2: i think you're born with it. like everyone is born with cancer." "girl 1: really?....i think if you eat vegetables you dont get cancer." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 These 2 dumb women on the BUS the other day. Talking about a belt she bought. "i never usually spend money on stuff like tha but oh my god, it was worth it." "How much?" "Like £140" "yeah?" "yeah it is black leather, really nice, like really tasteful, and smart, its really nice, and on the back of it, it has rivets that spell out 'California Dreaming', its really nice." Basically $280 on a dumb shit belt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GucciCondom Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 I remember when I was like 14 I heard these two little sluts next to me going "I need to get laid." "I'm glad my period is gone." And shit. It was hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HydrogenPeroxide Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 I didn't overhear it, but.. I was messing around with this chick at a party on boxing day, its like 630 in the morning and i have my phone in my back pocket and the keyboard lock obviously wasnt on because when i woke up and checked my messages the screen was like "qqjcnnkokkkkkzzzzzzzzzzzjfdslkjsjldsf" and i had texts from a few people that said shit like, "man, that chick your fucking sure talks dirty" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawood Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 ha ha.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA_BEARS Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 I work for an STD clinic so I hear gems all fucking day.... "Im here cuz my shit be drippin" "I'm glad it was just Chlamydia...I thought it was going to be something BAD!" " I like to shove wooden objects up my rectum....I cant catch anything doing that right?" " Wait, my wife told me she caught Herpes from using a dirty tampon...." " I dont want no fucking medicine...I finna give this shit right back to that bitch" I could write a fucking book..... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KILZ FILLZ Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 ^ " I dont want no fucking medicine...I finna give this shit right back to that bitch" absolutely CLASSIC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiliStCynical Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 some gay dude on the train "I've had more babies pulled out of me than a burning orphanage" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bruno Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 Two girls at the Dallas World Aquarium. Girl 1: "What do you think they feed the flamingos?" Girl 2: "Pfffft...Flamingo food...duh." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallafarce Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 one day at work it was busy and our dining room manager at the time was tellin me to work faster (jokingly) and i replied " just cause i cum fast does doesn't mean i can work fast." she looked at me and without missin a beat said " honey that is working fast." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_bus Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 These are a few select quotes from beezies in my psychopathology class. Usually when something rediculous or retarded is said i'll write it down next to my notes. "I had a friend who quit smoking!" "Does that mean you can develop HIV on your own?" "Will they get fat if the eating disorder goes away? "I have a friend who eats alot and isnt fat, is that normal?" "My friend went to the doctor and the doctor said he wasnt sick, but he really was!" "I read with a bookmark!" "Does the brain think on its own?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deloner Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 my dude McLovin once said: "IVE GOT A BONER!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA_BEARS Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 First day of Philosophy the Professor asked for us to say a little about ourself and why we were taking PHI101....so this thug looking dude sitting next to me stands up and says: "I want to learn more 'bout Philosophy cuz many people say dat Tupac is one of da greates' Philosophers of our time....Im hoping that we get to cover his stuff too." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KILZ FILLZ Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 lolz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Huxtable. Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 "isn't there supposed to be a boardwalk around here?" -- tourist at venice beach, while walking on the boardwalk.. . said sometime between 1995-97 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMF Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 "where ever you go.... there you are" -some drunk bum. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heel.moeilijk Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 This may not count, but I was watching Maury today and results of the lie detector test came back that this guy was cheating on his girlfriend. She punches him in the face, then yells "When we get home you're GONE! G-O-W-N! GONE!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*PROTOCOL* Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 I knew this kid who was the kid everyone in the our group clowned on all the time but was still allowed to hang out and basically just dealt with it. One time someone said something along the lines of "**** is so fucking retarded!" To which the kid said "No he's not! I mean, no I'm not!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*PROTOCOL* Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 Girl at work gave up eating meat for lent. I see her eating fish and ask wtf? "Fish is not meat!" She also argued with me, "insects are not animals!" I also heard her say she hates water and never drinks it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shai_hulud Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 "Dude, Iggy Pop was the coolest...I never freaked off with a man before, but that motherfucker could jump naked into a pile of human beings and not care where his dick landed. That's so cool." -My old roommate Kyle when he was drunk "Yo, can you turn down the fuck?"- Same roommate, to our other roommate when he was having extraordinarily loud sex "BEWARE OF PITBULL WITH AIDS"- sign on Kyle's door Kyle is the coolest, as you can tell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrChupacabra Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 some gems from a professor i had. not exactly overheard, but oh well. "You're supposed to love Peeps on Easter. Fuck Jesus and all that other shit." "Fuck Laura Engels Wilder. Lets all meet after class and piss on her grave and send her to another hell." He also would constantly talk about how he was going to gas our entire class, since we were in some big ass science lecture hall with some gas spouts of some sort in the front of the room. And more than once he made comments about how much he hated the president of the school and how he wanted to kill him. Best prof i've ever had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mind@ease Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 This kid the other day was tryin to argue with his boy that squirrels live in the ground in tunnels like ground hogs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Huxtable. Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 i give a homeless guy money and he says to me: "i'm gonna be celibate for 2004... no more bush & dick" this was like a few days before the elections Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abstract Rationality Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 Old lady to another old lady.... "I can't beleive he's wearing a cowboy hat, especially here at McDonalds...He should go back to Mexico and wear it there" Texas?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Huxtable. Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 remember someone on here was talking about a convo they heard on the bus between two black kids: "what would you do if the moon fell to the earth?" "man my ass would be runnin like a mothafucka!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiLL Or DiE Posted December 29, 2007 Share Posted December 29, 2007 ^ " I dont want no fucking medicine...I finna give this shit right back to that bitch" absolutely CLASSIC Hahahah...Funny shit.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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