skullnbones Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 Recently I've been hearing some insane shit and thought this would make a cool thread. I'm going to be noting shit I hear from now on. Good thrad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prime Chaos Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 this mom was yelling at her kid at my work said something like "Get over here now or ill have daddy take care of you." that lil girl ran so fast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VEE.THE.VIPER Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 girl: "I have to pee, like, all the time!" guy: "Are you incontinent?" girl: "No, I'm Portuguese." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soupBDC Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 As much as I dont like bumping old threads, this thread can't touch THIS THREAD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KM4RT Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 ^ hahahaha "nigga,you cant outrun the moon." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonCheadle Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 *first in chicago, guy says to this girl I know: "hey sweet tits I got two tickets to pound town" then in new york 3 nights later to the same girl: "Let's me and you take a trip to pound town" at a bar in the lower east side. ......i guess once those ideas get out there it's like like floating intellectual property that anyone can pick up, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dobsilla Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 Some rich preppy white girl got on the bus and started talking to her friend. shes like "Well I got like some community service and like my court date is in a couple days I don't want to go to jail it looks like scary and stuff." This girl is like the last person you would suspect to go to jail so me and my friend just start busting out laughing. Turns out she was selling weed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivouno Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 yeah SMASH the weeds chick..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yeaaaah baby Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 me and some fools were watchin boondock saints at that scene where they are closing up their wounds with a hot iron and the following conversation ensues: my buddy: i think that you could close up a missing finger wound using more conventional methods than using a hot iron stupid girl: what? with like garlic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushawn wuan Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 my friends talking about a dog carlos: your dog candy was crazy noe: wich one? rushawn: how many dogs you had named candy? noe: this one is the 3rd one rushawn: what the fuck noe: we spell it different though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drue_Down Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 I was at a Chili's Some hillbilly/redneck/white trash guy is walking out with his equally trashy kinfolk. He grabs the hostess and says: "TOP SHELF DINING, really, TOP SHELF!" The hostess looks at him like he is crazy and tries to walk away, hillbilly literally grabs her arm and says: "No, really, top shelf dining here, it was first class!" The look on her face was priceless!!! (A are-you-fucking-serious-you-worthless-piece-of-shit-this-place-super-sucks-die-please-die-now look) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IOU Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Just heard this right now: "I've seen so much celeberity dick" Former waitress at the Roxy Hollywood, Ca. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanfullofretards Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 I was at the DMV today and this fat black chick just failed her written exam and was on the phone with her friend "I'm so mad! I'm just so pissed. I just wish I could get this over with and be done with it. I just with I had a strawberry shake right now." I was like huh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-sudz- Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 this is kind of like overhearing stuff http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5kUjIIgNgc&e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushawn wuan Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 my boys while we were driving around to buy ice. friend 1: lets stop at this 7 11 friend 2: no no the cops are there friend 3: uhhhhhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhh. lets not buy ice there because of the cops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hatetown Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 this isn't really a quote. its more of a story. you know how most people who use fake piss to pass drug tests usually end up failing because the shit wasn't warm enough? my homie ended up leaving the heat pad on the fake pee-pee for way too long. he was telling me about how when he poured it into the cup when his employer turned away, the shit ended up being steaming fucking hot. the guy was completely baffled by why his piss was 100+ degrees. i think my homie ended up trying to convince him the shit was legit but either way, that story was pure comedy. i've never heard of anyone handing someone fake piss that was too hot..like scalding hot hahahaha. the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOOGLE? Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 me: ok so what i'm gonna do is put on the laramie project.. but before i'm gonna get her drunk.. and then she'll be all drunk and emotional and shit.. cps: interesting.. sooo uh what if she gets too drunk.. me: that where the ghb comes in cps : dude no Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H. Lecter Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Two Korean co-workers talking about thier family histories.. A: Yeah my grandfather was born in the north B:Yeah mine too, My grandmother had a huge apple farm she had to abandon..sucks. A: fuckin' chinese imperialists B: yeah, I love apples. hahah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H. Lecter Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Client talking on his cell phone about the experience he had calling sprint customer service ~ " I call up, first time around I get this black.. starts bullshiting about basketball..basketball! .. I had to hang up... I call back, my luck I get a spanish guy.. did'nt know what the fuck he was talking about.. stuttering up and putting me on hold.. Shit, this country's in the fucking toilet.. for the first time, I realized that.. and I was wishing I had just got conected to a call centre in India..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SayOne Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 These 2 dumb women on the BUS the other day. Talking about a belt she bought. "i never usually spend money on stuff like tha but oh my god, it was worth it." "How much?" "Like £140" "yeah?" "yeah it is black leather, really nice, like really tasteful, and smart, its really nice, and on the back of it, it has rivets that spell out 'California Dreaming', its really nice." Basically $280 on a dumb shit belt. :lol::lol::lol::lol: Where they serious!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H. Lecter Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 A. Blinking is for the weak B. Yeah.. blinking is over-rated.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cart_Monkey Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Booth behind mine at the diner "Don't give your daughter scented hand sanitizer...mine licked it off her hands and she got alcohol poisoning...they should put a warning label on that" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmonster Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 "and then cox began to grow and grow and grow" my leadership and management professor... ha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
womphead Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 "holy shit did you see that dude fall" "fuck it not my problem" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
booniesbomber Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 " i can cook cereal." dumb broad talking about things she can do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Future Droid Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 "body shots are the gayest thing to ever happen to drinking" said by me, overheard by my friend while in a bar in San Juan, PR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ihate12ozprophet.com Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 true story at walmart my boy : hey how come you gotta be 18 to buy paint anyway cashier wit multi-colored hair: i dont know its probably cuz people be doing all that confetti every where Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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