Mr.Maker Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 when was young i used to spike my hair up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I haven't been to the grocery store in 3 or 4 weeks = no q-tips... Its been a once a week thing for sine then but this entire week I have forgotten... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MitchThe$nitch Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Originally Posted by MoeBumps (View Original Post) i told this story once, so if you've read it, sorry. im drinking all my rent money. im about to be homeless. so i figure its a good idea to wreck my house. my friend gives me a "chubby tubby" love doll. a huge fat blow up doll as a joke.. i blow it up and put it in the middle of my living room. i have a big party and smash up my place into a dump. in the morning im fucked on drugs and still drinking beer. i call in a gun threat to the hospital (i dont remember this) saying im going to kill everyone. i get sent to the psych ward because im crazy anyway. while im in the psych ward, my parents emergency move me because im getting kicked out. first thing they find is a chubby tubby blow up doll with a bottle in the pussy. my stepdad is so weirded out he thinks its serious and packs it up for me in case i still want it. so ive owned a fuck doll. this woke me up today! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T ReXXX Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 "Use an arm sling to boost goods at Radio Shack." My arm has been in a cast for 2 months..and I tell you a sling works wonders. "Order water at Taco Bell, then abuse their free refills soda bar" The only way to do it. "Shit in someone's cat box." My roomate told me the next day that 'Dutchess' laid a monster turd and I should have seen it. "Call an armed forces recruiter, ask him what kind of soap he used to wash the blood of a million butchered children off his hands, and where can you get some." Wow..i'll give it a shot..its good for a laugh. "Shoplift at grocery chains.." ...just shoplift. Thats all for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ilove2paint4free Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 my college roommate smashed a girl I was way to into. She would only let me squeeze the double D's. She got drunk at a party, came to my apartment and fucked my roommate. He wanted me to thank him for sparing me from the slut. He paid his money on time so I couldn't kick him out. i thanked him shooting load after load on his pillow and putting the pillow case back over it. For months, I blasted his pillow and he never said a word. He had to smell it through the pillow case. He doesn't know and we are still friends. I guess I'm not really embarassed about the pillow but he smashed what I couldn't. That sucks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Porcelain Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 why wernt you out there getting her drunk and trying to smash? it seems like he just worked harder and got it. that pillow shit is laughs haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Thats...gross I mean that is some really grimey shit to do to your boy. I would of just beat him up once and been done with it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ilove2paint4free Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 She was the one, so I thought. He didn't even have game. Revenge was the only option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Porcelain Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 toe cutter get back to class. yo can get in trouble for being on this website at school Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayersz Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Dude...I think that's my pillow. Paint you fucker....here all this time I thought I was droolin' like a mother fo. That explains why my face iz all broke out. I'M GONNA KICK YO AZZ!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GucciCondom Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I used to have a couch that I had to get rid of, because every time I beat my cock I would just smear my jizz under it. From about 6th grade up until I was 18 years old. I didn't notice some how, but it was actually building up along the edge of the couch not just under it, along with the smell. So when I finally went to get rid of it, there was probably a inch thick layer of yellow crusty spud dried into the couch about 38 inches along the couch. I had some people move it out for me. Hahaha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayersz Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I used to have a couch that I had to get rid of, because every time I beat my cock I would just smear my jizz under it. From about 6th grade up until I was 18 years old. I didn't notice some how, but it was actually building up along the edge of the couch not just under it, along with the smell. So when I finally went to get rid of it, there was probably a inch thick layer of yellow crusty spud dried into the couch about 38 inches along the couch. I had some people move it out for me. Hahaha. you waited until the 6th grade? Dude you were behind on the curve bro! HA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GucciCondom Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Yeah dude fuck, I should have been down with the jizz couch mafia sooner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 i went on a date with some guy and went to see a movie. at the end of the movie we got up and headed towards the stairs. somehow i tripped and went tumbling all the way down until i got to the bottom. it was fun...embarrasing, but i laughed it off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ilove2paint4free Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 You must've been spent. The isles aren't that steep. Were you embarrassed that you tripped or that you couldn't stop rolling. just bustin' ur balls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayersz Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 HA HA HA yo dat shitz it funny. Good shit Paint Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deloner Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 When i was in 6th grade i was gonna lose my virginity to some chick but i fell asleep, it was like 3am i was a youngster i passed out. ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Porcelain Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 a while ago. i was laying down on my brother bed in my moms house. it was me and my girl. i was laying on my stomach and she had her head on my lower back. she decided to get up and thought it would be funny to pull down my baketball shorts when she did. but she grabbed boxers and all.then i lifted my ass up to pull them up and my ass went right in her face.at that moment my mom walks in and she thought my girl was eating my ass. till this day my mom wont believe the truth and still thinks i got a rim job hahahahahaha lmao. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 You must've been spent. The isles aren't that steep. Were you embarrassed that you tripped or that you couldn't stop rolling. just bustin' ur balls. actually i'm just clumsy....i missed a step and went rolling. tumbling actually, like the way you see it done in the movies. i didn't know that was possible. you're not really busting my balls. it was funny. i laughed. he laughed. people laughed and now i have an embarrassing story to tell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ilove2paint4free Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I would have laughed too....and probably before I knew you were ok. speaking of movie embarrassment. I watched a fat guy get pulled out of his seat by a buddy because his legs fell asleep from lack of circulation. He had that sloppy shuffle one gets from blood loss to the legs. I laughed but felt bad about it when the lights came on because he was retarded. very embarrassing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 i laugh at everyone who hurts themselves. people get mad. just laugh, it's funny. you'll be ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Porcelain Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 i laugh when people get hurt when i get hurt too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T ReXXX Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 a while ago. i was laying down on my brother bed in my moms house. it was me and my girl. i was laying on my stomach and she had her head on my lower back. she decided to get up and thought it would be funny to pull down my baketball shorts when she did. but she grabbed boxers and all.then i lifted my ass up to pull them up and my ass went right in her face.at that moment my mom walks in and she thought my girl was eating my ass. till this day my mom wont believe the truth and still thinks i got a rim job hahahahahaha lmao. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foneiz2 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 i fell asleep getting head from a girl i really liked when i was 15. i smashed a chick then a day later she declared she was a lesbian and is still one. i once came home very stoned and started to beat off then fell asleep with my dick in my hand then woke to the sound of my bedroom door shutting. i saw porn on my dads laptop and think it may of been my mum. i get really into girls then get very drunk and annoy them. i wore my brand new £140 raybans to a club and they got stamped on.(it was a retro shades party) i secretly get upset when i listen to love songs. i rap along furiously to hip hop in front of my mirror. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercer Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Funny Shit: NOT ME! Well, I debated all day whether I should share with what happened to me last night, so since I can't tell my family i'll tell you internet strangers my story. Ok it was my cheat day on a bulking diet, so I put away about 8000 calories including a lot of alcohol last night. Im at the usual weekend parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night. She's 17, so still a little on the immature side, but im only 19 so its all good. Anyway i've talked to this girl a few times before, and to make a long story short I ended up going back with her to her room. About another 8 shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed, didnt bang her, but did pretty much everything else. So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest shit in my life. All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a little. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers. I must have passed out about 10min after she did around 3am. I wake up at about 8am to piss and I find myself covered in shit. Im thinking WTF, and what happened was I shit myself when I was sleeping. It was all over the bed, sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world. She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some shit and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of ther hammies. I get dressed and leave LOL This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. Anyway, im really gonna have to avoid her and I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.[/Quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 hahahahaaaaaaaa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadpig Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 when i was around 14 i lived in an apartment complex. for fun we would play ding dong ditch... so, one night me and my friend put our backs to our other friends door and give it the hardest kick possible. we kicked it so hard the door broke and swung open... we take off running and i didn't see the concrete was raisied a lil, i tripped on it and i slammed into the sidewalk face first...scraped up my face pretty bad. i never played ding dong ditch again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadpig Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Funny Shit: NOT ME! :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deterrent Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I'm so over weight I can no longer feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I have watched the wedding planner like 4 times. Its always on TBS on sunday afternoons when I am hung over but I sit through the whole thing. This sunday or saturday I was hung over and I watched Spanglish...I got emotional... I swear its just cause I love latina bitches so much...FLUOR!!! DONT LET YOUR FEET TOUCH THE FLOOR GAAAAAAHHH NO!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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