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the word "hipster" as a negative gets thrown around far too often...


Abracadabra

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i've grown from a shitty 13 year old chola, sunshine bangs, nike cortez, and dickies, into a nice lil' lady. i'm almost 30, listen to whatever i want. do whatever i want. wear whatever i want, like today for example, i'm wearing a red t-shirt that says "concrete jungle" i cut it up myself. underneath is a white wifebeater, and i'm wearing a pair of brown shorts with black and white flip flops. i don't match and i don't care. i don't have a 2007 fag cut with lots of different colors in my hair, or wear mac makeup, or have shitty nautical stars tattooed on me or gay sleeves. i'm not out for male attention and laugh at silly little slores that are.

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"WORST HIPSTER OF ALL"

Fixed gear bikes, or "fixies," are the simplest bikes ever invented. They have one gear and no freewheel, which means they can't coast; you pedal all the time. Most don't even have brakes, because you can (theoretically) stop them by applying back-pressure with your legs. But most of the fixie hipsters you see don't bother to stop much, anyway, as they've mastered the skills used by NYC bike messengers of scanning ahead, anticipating traffic patterns, and finding "holes" to slip through unscathed. As for the bike itself, the true hipster will take an old 1970s-era European ten-speed--a Peugeot, Cinelli, Bottechia, or the like, and strip it of its gears, brakes, cables, and shifters, and then rebuild the rear wheel to accommodate a single cog.

 

Other less-hip riders will simply buy one off the shelf; Bianchi, Redline, Raleigh, and others are flooding the market with inexpensive urban fixed gear bikes to satisfy the increasing demand. But even these are modified to withstand the rigors of urban assault riding: decals are removed to thwart thieves, handlebars are flipped and chopped, and the frames are often swathed in rubber inner tubes to protect the finish from bike lock damage and to give the bikes a stealth look. For countless examples, Fixedgeargallery is the illustrated bible of all things fixed.

 

The Riding Outfit

 

To designate yourself as a fixie hipster on or off the bike, you must adopt the fashion style of the new urban athlete. Leave the lycra shorts, rainbow jerseys, and cleated Italian cycling shoes for the Tour de France wannabes

 

 

 

A too-small T-shirt emblazoned with an obscure high school sports mascot is de rigeur, as is some sort of hat--either a vintage cycling cap, a Kangol-style Ivy, or some quasi-military khaki cadet cap.

 

Rolled-up jeans are required, and retro Vans slip-on shoes both look cool and eliminate the risk of laces getting caught in the chain.

 

 

Socks are optional, but if you go that route, it's argyles or nothing.

 

Plastic-framed Buddy Holly glasses complete the look.

 

If you add Asian-themed tattoo “sleeves,” you get to move to the front of the hipster line.

 

Riding Accessories

 

Accessories are simple: you have to have a messenger bag, and generally speaking, the bigger the better. Chrome, Timbuk 2, and Reload are among the most popular brands, offering dozens of custom features. But to be really hip, you must have a cell phone holster on the shoulder strap. This not only facilitates access to your phone, but passers-by might mistake you for an actual bike messenger with a radio, instantly increasing your hipster cred.

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The only two acceptable ways of dressing for me to not think your a faggot is if you wear thug shit or regular shit like some loose jeans and a Heineken tee. If you wear thug shit it has to be tastefully done and put together well. G-Unit shirts are an example of what not to wear. Personally I just rock either home-made shirts like the City Of God one I made or the Fuck Emo Kids one..or Dr.J and Jordan jerseys..or Miskeen shirts. Lately I have been flossing a lot of Coogi polo's though because I got a stack of them for like 15 bones a piece. And jean shorts with my piff ass Barkleys. Sometimes a fitted when I feel the mood.

 

I'll chill with people who wear whatever they want I don't care, but I will be embarrassed in public somewhat.

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most hipsters snort coke. in addition most hipsters have a lot of money but front like they dont (ie. shitty beer, and thrift store clothes.)

 

hipsters are not to be confused with scenesters or emos. these are types of hipsters.

 

basically we all know what hipsters are if you live in a large enough city. and basically we all have some sort of hipster in us because were are of the same age and same pop culture. but fuck all the faggot ass hipster dudes. the only reason i would ever do anything hipster is to smash the young hipster ladies

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it's them people who always know more about that band

or are just plain over that band because they were 'so 3 months ago'

 

in general it's someone who is always quick to point out how late someone else is with a certain trend...

...because they already went through all that; the coke, the chucks, the bangs, the trucker hat...i was SO fuckin doin all that shit before all these fucks. Now i'm all about wolf t-shirts and parker lewis watches with rayon shirts.

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ok i will take a shot at the hipster definition.

 

i consider a hipster to be someone that is down with mf doom but doesnt really listen to hiphop.

but does because everyone else that they know that isnt hiphop is listening to him.

they want to be the first to know a band that is hype at the moment yet is probably years too late

like everyone else in the hipster crowd. ask a hipster what is hiphop and they will reply with the 5 elements bro.

they only scratch the surface but act all knowing. they have to be down with knowing who to hate and who to like.

being a fan of eminem 5 years too late but then hating eminem when everyone else does.

 

clothes are expensive yet grungy. bathing ape, ecko... vintage jeans just to get them because they seem in at the

moment. its basically squares that take a little from every subculture so that they can be down universally.

an emo haircut with a hiphop styled shirt with pair of prada pants and some skate shoes

 

knowing every artist's history and where they came from and what category of art they are

most famous for and what prostitutes nipple that munched on but yet never painted a picture in their life.

they know all the newest art trends and love fucking street art but hate taggers and graffiti

(thats a good thing btw) they even carve out their own stencils and make canvases. silk screen t-shirts and

love neckface.

 

know all the actors in all the tv series, all the celebrity gossip and are like a mini version of perez hilton.

they love movies and like to throw out knowledge about obscure films yet dont really

like thoughs movies in the first place. like an art fag that goes to art school but graduates

only to become an art teacher.

 

now why would most of us fall into the category of a hipster? because these leeches

just take the most popular stuff that we have been doing for years and making it acceptable.

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+

 

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thats a nice bike tho.

i saw some fat hipster dude riding one, it made me laugh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i would get the bike.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

....for transportation. not to be cool.

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I should just walk my ass down the street and take a flick of one, or a fucking crowd even.

 

Tight pantsy-pants, dirty slip-on shoes, keys, raggedy-ass shirt, bug-eye sunglasses, riding a bike either against traffic or just as stupidly possible.

 

That's a common description. It's like they're glorified tasteless thrift-store shoppers. Like they pick something out with something else and throw it on and proceed to look like a fucking slob.

 

FUCKING EVERYWHERE.

 

But like ABC said, it's very hard to come up with a rock-solid description of these people.

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