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Frate_Raper

why did that come out of my mouth?

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I was watching this family shovel snow at a chruch,my boy goes "who makes their kid get up at this hour to shovel snow?" out of my vile, retarded, shitty mouth pops "the same dad that forces himself into his sons mouth". We died laughing but what the fuck is wrong with me?

 

 

I say,think and do the worst shit.I'm a horrible person.

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I was getting head once and the girl gagged and nearly puked and I said "that was a bit frothy".

It was funny.

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that first one really isn't that funny. I have to live with a bunch of girly little homos like that at the moment. Every two seconds they are like "hey you ... your really gay. Snicker snicker" and all these dudes will laugh at that shit and i'll be standing there looking at them like "what are you twelve bitch?"

 

That frothy call however is pretty funny.

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ohh and I was going to say, regret of ones speech is always a sign of poor self esteem. When people tell you they are trying to stop swearing or saying ill shit. What they are really saying is "I'm not comfortable with who I am. Some how manipulate that weakness to your advantage".

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^ that sounds like i'm calling you out or something. What I meant was, relax. Your either a chill guy who says retarded shit once in awhile (which means your still chill) or your a douche. If you were a douche you wouldnt care about what you were saying cos you'de be a douche.

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Originally posted by RoboThruster@Dec 16 2005, 04:36 PM

that first one really isn't that funny. I have to live with a bunch of girly little homos like that at the moment. Every two seconds they are like "hey you ... your really gay. Snicker snicker" and all these dudes will laugh at that shit and i'll be standing there looking at them like "what are you twelve bitch?"

 

That frothy call however is pretty funny.

 

my housemates are like this.

they always come back with either "you are" or "your mum does" in a wierd accent anytime you may say anything.

 

drives me nuts.

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hahaha i blurted out something i shouldnt have the other day

basically it was in a group of some frnds while this girl i was kinda into was with us as well altho i didnt really talk to her

 

i told em how im doing a women studies course and they all said how its filled with man hating lesbos, and i was like nah, theres tons of babes in the class i bet. thats the only reason im taking it cuz of the babes. Then they chimed in with yeh well they prolly dont shave their legs. And i reply, fuck whatever id rather have a non shaven leg babe then no babe at all....

 

then the girl that im into got up and left.....

good times

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WOW I forgot about starting this,I worked all night.

 

Gay jokes are fucking weak but jokes about ruffies,religon and sand boxes tear shit apart.If that lowers my self esteme in any way then I need to go on Opraha and cry about my shitbag life up to this point.

 

Another sweet exsample of me being a fuck

 

One crew of guys roles up to my truck.I can't see one of the retards they have on their crew."Hey buddy wheres stupid Chris?" stupid Chris sits up in the back of the crew cab.

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i went to school with this kid that only had one arm. i remember the first day saw him in class i said, "damn, dudes only got one arm".

 

i have no idea why i said it out loud.

 

he heard me.

 

i apologized for being an idiot.

 

but i have no idea why i did that. i felt so fucking bad.

 

i get mad when people point out my tattoos all the time. how the fuck does dude feel having some asshole in his class point out the fact that he is missing an arm.

 

i never forgave myself for that one.

 

funny, how shit can pop into your head and come out with out you really meaning it.

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Originally posted by iquit@Dec 17 2005, 04:38 AM

i went to school with this kid that only had one arm. i remember the first day saw him in class i said, "damn, dudes only got one arm".

 

i have no idea why i said it out loud.

 

he heard me.

 

i apologized for being an idiot.

 

but i have no idea why i did that. i felt so fucking bad.

 

i get mad when people point out my tattoos all the time. how the fuck does dude feel having some asshole in his class point out the fact that he is missing an arm.

 

i never forgave myself for that one.

 

funny, how shit can pop into your head and come out with out you really meaning it.

 

 

damn dude,youve got tattoos, let me see them!

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i have this black friend thats in all of my classes, and we joke around callin' eachother nigga.... I always say nigga at the wrong time though, its most likely when everyone gets quiet immediately and then i say it... i just have bad luck.

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I WAS AT THIS SHOP THE OTHER DAY LIKE A BIG RETAIL MUSIC STORE AND THIS DUDE WALKS PAST WITH A PASTEL YELLOW T SHIRT WITH SOME ORANGE WRITING ON IT, AND HE WAS WEARING MATCHING ORANGE THONGS. HAD THE NICE BLEACHED HAIR AND WAS SUCKIN DOWN SOME YUPPIE JUICE - AKA REALLY EXPENSIVE JUICE FROM SOME TRENDY JUICE BAR

I TURN TO MY FRIEND AND I GO - CHECK OUT THIS FAGGOT

TURNED OUT I SAID IT TOO LOUD AND THE DUDE TURNED ROUND AND GREASED ME OFF.. I JUST LAUGHED BUT I STILL FELT KINDA BAD

 

WATEVER

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I went out for a night on the town with an old friend and his new girlie. He was so pumped over this chick,and yes she was hot, so we hit two art openings and then a bar.It's like 3 am and his lady is fucking smashed.

 

Matty rolls to the can to and this chick and I are having a laugh about something when she screams in my face "yeah like me having no FUCKING HAND".....and she stuffs her nub in my face.

 

I didn't even notice until then she was missing her left hand, Matt said he was walking up to us as she said it.............I dropped my pint of oj and was in comlete shock.I didn't even laugh at her joke.I felt really bad.

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One time at a Jays game, there was a dude proposing to his girlfriend up on the big screen.

 

I say, "Geez, what kind of hurtbag would propose to his wife at a Blue Jay game?" and the guy I was with says ""I don't know, some kind of loser, I guess".

 

And then we see ourselves up on the big screen sitting right behind them.

 

We felt bad, but it's all good because it turns out that they were already engaged. And my friend's dad's friend got them a plastic Blue Jay ring, which they really appreciated.

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this guy in my history class always cracks jokes about arabs and i always laugh. Now i find out the kid on the other side of us is an arab. It doesnt matter though because hes on drugs all the time and doesnt wear shoes or washes.

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I was at this bar and this old guy with parkinson's spills his drink all over the counter. So I look right at him and I say, "Hey you fucking Jew, why don't you make your self useful and stick your self in a goddamn oven?"

Then he tells me that he was a survivor of the Holocaust.

It was SOOOOO embarassing.

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Guest beardo

i keep telling my roomate to "kill yourself", like i do to everyone else. yeah. her husband killed himself last year. :lol:

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Nothing beats the time i was talkin to this kid and spilling my guts to him about how much i hate mormons and how creepy they are to me. With his eyes welling up he told me that he was mormon. Hahaha. Man. That was great.

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Originally posted by beardo@Dec 19 2005, 12:06 AM

i keep telling my roomate to "kill yourself", like i do to everyone else. yeah. her husband killed himself last year. :lol:

 

 

low low low stuff, haha, but funyy.... :haha:

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Originally posted by sillysiphilis@Dec 18 2005, 08:35 PM

I was at this bar and this old guy with parkinson's spills his drink all over the counter. So I look right at him and I say, "Hey you fucking Jew, why don't you make your self useful and stick your self in a goddamn oven?"

Then he tells me that he was a survivor of the Holocaust.

It was SOOOOO embarassing.

 

So parkinsons comes from the Holocaust?

 

-fuse.

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