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GnomeToys

What would you do?

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This is kind of long...

 

Ok, here's my current situation. October of last year I was forced to move because the building I was in wasn't up to code, and the city was condemning it. At that point, I was also drinking very heavily at any chance possible. I ended up moving in with a couple of drinking buddies. May of this year I quit drinking, because of health reasons (possible ulcer). Soon after I just decided to quit for good. Once I was sober I slowly began paying attention to what had been going on around me, and decided that I needed to move out of here as quickly as possible, which will be happening soon. Now I'm faced with a moral dillema.

 

One of the guys I ended up with is ok, he's kind of an ass sometimes, but he's a good guy in general. The other one is 31 years old, and drinks a minimum of two cases of beer every day. I'm going to call him Chester. His current girlfriend is one of his employees at work (he manages about 5 people), has drug convictions and has been through rehab and a couple months of jail already. She is 18 years old, 17 she started "working" for him. Her parents know she's dating him but I don't think any of them know exactly how old he is. He can pull off looking like 22 or 23. His last girlfriend was 17 when they met and he dumped her around when she turned 21. She had cerebral palsy, and like the current girlfriend, very low self esteem.

 

Now the current one is still on probation, and is pretty much living at this place now. She smokes pot all the time, and Chester feeds her whatever alcohol she wants. She has no plans to go to college because she wants to stay in town with Chester, the love of her life. Her brother has already met Chester while he was trashed and unable to form a complete sentence, and has told her that he doesn't want her to be staying here. The other roommate, the half-cool one, who is 26, was telling this young girl that her brother was "just jealous of what they had" and that he doesn't know. I don't know about you guys on here, but if I have a daughter and catch her fucking around with somebody 13 years older than her when she's still in high school, she's going to catch the permanent grounding and the dude is going to catch the permanent brain damage.

 

Normally I would have kept myself as far away from this situation as possible, but now I'm stuck with it even though it's only for a day or two more, and I kind of feel bad about it. I'm not normally the type to go around narcing people out for things like this, but I don't like seeing kids fucking their life up, especially when they're being led to do it by old drunk ass perverts. She's always bringing friends from high school over too, which kind of established the house as the high school party zone over the winter, and although I was too drunk to realize it at the time, drove all of my friends my age away from the house.

 

Anyway, time is getting short to rant about this, but the way I see it I have two options:

1) Contact her father and explain the reality of the situation to him. Watch ensuing assbeating from afar.

2) Forget about it and let her fuck up her life.

 

I'm leaning towards #2, but only because I don't want to get my ass kicked if somebody finds out. I'd like some advice. I've got a few friends I need to ask about this too, but I'd like the advice of random internet people.

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stoolie over here.y cant u just say shes hoing for whoever the guy is?if the bacon really wanted to investigate they could find out ur addy pretty fast.on another board this one guy posted someone elses address and phone number some how.if some dickhead with a comp can do it the donut jockeys can do it faster.do what ur gonna do narc.u shouldnt be asking e-friends over something that could get ur head bashed in.also any mods out there im not being a dick to him for no reason like he has to me in other threads.hes getting whats coming to him.

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Originally posted by frankie the porn magician@Jul 13 2005, 09:41 AM

stoolie over here.y cant u just say shes hoing for whoever the guy is?if the bacon really wanted to investigate they could find out ur addy pretty fast.on another board this one guy posted someone elses address and phone number some how.if some dickhead with a comp can do it the donut jockeys can do it faster.do what ur gonna do narc.u shouldnt be asking e-friends over something that could get ur head bashed in.also any mods out there im not being a dick to him for no reason like he has to me in other threads.hes getting whats coming to him.

 

That's nice frankie, but:

1) You're mentally retarded.

2) The cops don't care, as nothing illegal beyond simple possession has happened. This is a moral question.

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Fuck it man, don't waste your life and time worried about what other people do. You gonna be outta there in a couple days, and forget in a few after that. You aren't a superhero and she isn't a damsel (sp?) in distress. Their actions are made by them. Rule is don't snitch, except when it comes to child molestors and sick shit like that. She's not a child anymore and is more than capable of making her own decisions (she's not brain damaged or slow, is she?).

 

I've had some shitty roommates myself, that did some fuck shit to chicks, and 10 out of 10, they end up telling on themselves by continuing to do what they do. If you (they) continue to do fuck shit, it will catch up to you, and this isn't on some karma shit.

 

Good to hear you got your shit together, though.

 

 

 

*edit for shit that didn't really matter.

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There is no prostitution going on, to clear that up. Thanks Seldoon, I'll reply further after work.

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Sounds tricky, unfortuantly the girl is an adult now and can make her own choices as bad as they might be... It's hard to stand by and watch someone fuck their life up, but it sounds like this girl lives for "chester". At best you could occasionally pull her aside and tell her how great college is and in a subtle way get her thinking about other things... don't snitch, there's always an alternative...

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^^^^^^^ that reminded me of something and now i have to spray air freshner to get it out of my head.

 

yea, just narc on the dude, a lot of people might say,k "forget about it" "let them fuck themselves up" well obviously you want to narc but your waiting for someone to push you to do it, or else you wouldnt be asking for advice.

 

it feels good to help a person out sometimes, they might not know they need the help but in time shit gets resolved.

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i say let it ride. it seems like she's very attatched to this toolbox, for whatever reason, and you getting involved probably wouldn't solve anything for her. from the sound of things, she's young, high, and stupid, so the choices she's making aren't going to be the brightest anyways. let her have that sobering moment when she's about 24 and thinks "what the fuck happened to me?"

 

move out.

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Gnome the situation sucks, however:

 

-if her parents really didnt want her there, shed be on lock down in their house.

-her brother met one of them and knows the situation, which takes the responsibility you may think you have and place it onto him.

-anyone who acts in such a way or is attracted to such people have deep rooted problems that will only recover once the person realizes how fucked up they are being. Furthermore, you tell her parents or the cops is only going to create slight changes that will not last that long. But once something traumatic happens to her maybe shell realize what the hell she is doing.

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so wait.. your friends stopping kicking it at your place because there were too many drunk high school chicks there?

 

she's 18...don't worry about it.. she'll come around before long. doesn't sound like there;s much there for a long term relationship....

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Tell the dad

 

A) take comfort in the fact that you'll be making a move that'll save a life in the long run as well as probably keeping one less person off the street/out of rehab

 

B) the dad coming over like an avenging revnant and kicking this guys ass.......get video

 

 

seriously....over the years it was always my policy to avoid stuff like this. After all, what business was it of mine yeah? But it's just as selfish to turn your back and not do anything as you think it is to tell the dad.

 

This chester guy sounds like a real piece of shit gnometoys. Sound the horn and bring down the calvary on this cradle robbing mother fucker.

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usually

stoopit people don't like to take advice

and in fact, they often end up doing exactly the OPPOSITE of what people tell them to do (even when it's in their best interest), often out of some misguided attempt to prove what they know (how life works) or that they can do whatever they want no matter what anyone says.

 

in short, reverse psychology might even work better with a genius like this.

 

at 17/18, i am not sure her dad will be able to have a powerful influence on her actions, especially judging from what kind of girl he has raised.

 

good looking out, but you are probably not gonna get anywhere with this one.

 

on another note, any grown ass man willing to get down on the regular with a teenager is a fucking bastard and obviously not working with too much brain power himself..what the fuck do a 33 year old and a 17 year old have in common? sex!

 

if oyu DO tell her father, just tell him the age difference, probably best not to bring the other shit into it. she is an adult after all.

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she's old enough to make her own decisions and you're not her parent...so leave it alone. hopefully shit will turn out alright and she'll learn and chalk it up to one of those life lessons.

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Do the right thing and tell her father. Don't listen to the people saying "she's old enough to make her own decisions." She is obviously a child in over her head without realizing it. Don't worry about getting your ass beat by this guy either. If he is an alcoholic to the degree you mentioned, chances are he will drink before hand to get his nerve up. In which case he can be easily handled.

 

She is young with her whole life ahead of her. I don't know about you, but knowing I had the chance of preventing someone from throwing away their life and not acting would weigh on my conscious severly.

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no one is throwing away their life. she's 18... there are plenty of people, even on this board, who have gone through bad times, (aka learning experiences), and came out o.k.

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Yes, true. But considering how immature she is to put herself in that type of situation and consider this guy "the love of her life", it's more likely for it to get worse and worse.

 

And the people on here are right, you don't have to do anything. It's what we do when it's not necessary or beneficial to us that defines our character.

 

**edit for spelling errors

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and how is getting up in her face necessarily going to do anything either?

 

dumb ass people usually don't want to take advice.

she obviously is doing what she wants, and will continue to do so regardless of what this dude, her dad, or anyone else says.

 

it's worth a try, but it is RARE

for a person to change another person, or their habits in any major way

 

people who spend too much time trying to help people like this

(who need to learn from their own mistakes)

often get sucked into the downward spiral.

 

sure, try to do something

but be realistic about what influence you can have

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A roundabout way to deal with this if you don't want to rock the boat too much is to start asking them rhetorical questions. (Maybe when they are high... hmmwhahahaha...) but make them nervous. Like bring your mother over to meet them.

Start asking hard questions like:

So what do you suppose you'll be doing 5, 10, 15 years from now?

Ever thought about getting married?

What about kids? Want kids? What if you have one?

Don't you think your drinking might interfere with this relationship? I mean if you really want it to make it work right?

You must really love each other....

How old did you say you were again?

What about college? What do your parents think about that?

 

Besides it might be kinda funny (for you)....

 

They might be so embarrassed they will reevaluate their relationship... (hopefully)

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I see the people on here are about as divided as my friends are on this issue, and I'm definitely going to wait a week or two to make up my mind with a clear head once I'm out of the situation. Right now I'm exposed to it on a daily basis so it might just be pissing me off more than necessary. I have a little sister, and that's what runs through my mind when I try to figure this one out.

 

dubs, good looking out on the brother thing. He didn't get to see the full extent of it because she knew he was coming and wasn't stoned and drunk as usual, but hopefully he's at least said enough to their dad to get him interested in visiting.

 

I did my good share of fucking up, and I know where these people are at right now and what direction that takes a person, which is my other motivation for wanting to do something.

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show her one of those health videos about drinking and smoking that you sometimes see in school haha

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Originally posted by casekonly@Jul 13 2005, 12:28 PM

smoke her up on salvia.

the spirit of the plant will

freak her out and she'll

be a better person.

:haha:

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