DeanGulberry Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 ...hold up, before I start sounding like the Dr. Ruth of 12oz., I got a story, too. One year, me and all my boys went to Ocean City. One dude's girly came, who I wanted to fuck-- what with some big ass titties on a little pretty Italian girl w/ short hair, and purple streaks in it. Ooh. Anyway, these cats were straight thugs in '95. Ganking car stereos. Stealing Kickers and amps out of trunks. Stealing car batteries to power the radios, amps, and kickers... a veritable boomin' system right in our hotel living room... management loved us. We jacked mountain bikes, then rode around till we found a whip with a tailgate-type bike rack, and we jacked that to bring the Cannondales home on our whip. So we meet this girl Laura, 17 or so, from NY state staying w/ family few doors down. We had 3 days left, they just got there, so the old man had no idea what kind of citizens we were. Anyway, we want to party that night, and as usual, weren't trying to pay for shit... we go down to the beach-front bar of our own hotel (on the late nite creep), work a little lockpicking action, and we're in... 4 of us roll out bottles, in each hand, and a cop shines a Mag-Lite at my face from about 50 feet away. I'm in nothing but boxer shorts, and suede Pumas, since it's our hotel. "Freeze!", yeah right, bro... I jetted around our hotel, doubled back, went halfway around the next building, trying to shake this cop. I shook him long enough to get under this little overhang-parking area next door...tried to fit into a garbage can. Fuck, too tall. I'm seeing flashlights... fuck it, I crawled under a Mercury Cougar and tried not to breathe while fucking Kojak walks around like 5 feet away. Twenty minutes later, I hear a K9 Unit's dog barking a few lots down. And the whole time, from under this car, I can see my hotel window. Fuck. 5 or so hours later, I get up and calmly walk past some early-morning folks, all dirty in my fresh attire. Nobody got popped, but being this would be our last day there, we gonna get extra drunk, just on a little more subdued level. So back to Laura. Young, lithe, and sexy... but she's sitting on my boy's lap all nite. He's groping, pecking, joking too much. And he'll probably fuck her that nite... but he fucked up, 'cause she was giving me much play when they told the story about the night before. I played it cool. Homey got up to take an 8-ball piss, and I stepped right in the batter's box, like "You want to check something out?"-- All-Time Pimp Line of the Year, you know? This girl's all impressed with the free-spirited thuggery we embodied, but whatever. She follows me into the bedroom, I hear Paul like, "That fuckin' snake!", and I proceed to knock the boots, (with a few interruptions by peeping toms), but fuck it. Bottom line, I got paid, escaped the law, and hit it off with a very cute girl... and that shit is no "Dear Penthouse" story... if you're reading this, Laura, that shit was super hot, and I'm sorry my pig ass didn't write. Best vacation EVER... (On a side note, the cute Italian gal w/ the streaks got LARGE these days, and I suspect has mental issues, so I'm glad I didn't pursue it.) Whew! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milton Posted June 10, 2004 Author Share Posted June 10, 2004 I feel like Passenger 57... Key, that sucks man. I've been in that situation a few times too, it's a toss up between staying as long as you can pretending nothing is gonna happen or breaking it off cleanly on your terms when you can... Good luck... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 hahaha... that story was priceless. not really on topic... but a good read either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Originally posted by Milton Good luck... thanks... but you already know what I'm going to do.... Start getting out there and flirting and see what bites. Then the decision is that much easier. you dont quit a decent job untill you have a better one. :idea: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milton Posted June 10, 2004 Author Share Posted June 10, 2004 Dropping knowledge like a clumsy professor... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trickone Posted June 13, 2004 Share Posted June 13, 2004 bump...milton where you at? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanity Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 i think you cats should talk about fucking dude's girls. cause in dean's story... i'd say that was a shitty thing to do... and milton seems annoyed by his boy. maybe i just roll w/ some cool guys, but none of us would do something like that to eachother.. it's straight disrespectful and says to them, "i don't care about our friendship enough to sacrifice a few minutes of bodily pleasure." shit, i could express interest in a girl, get straight shot down, and my boys wouldn't fuck w/ it. some cats might use the arguement that "if she wanted to fuck, obviously things weren't working out." and that's true... but if by boy's girl was trying to fuck me, i'd just let him know, and he'd drop her. my boy wouldn't be wasting time on some skeezer, and our friendship would be tighter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milton Posted June 14, 2004 Author Share Posted June 14, 2004 I've come online tonight because I get the weirdest feeling that somebody has something important to tell me. So if you have something important to tell me please let me know... This is going to be quick, I didn't know there was still interest in getting laid, so I'll throw some more detailed lessons at you all tomorrow. For tonight though here it is: Why you shouldn't fuck your friends girl. It used to be that women had respect for their boyfriends, it used to be that if a girl was your girl, your friends were off limits completely until at least a few months after you broke up. But then came the late 90's and everybody decided it was so hard to get laid that anybody offering was fair game. This is not the right way to go about things at all. Let me rephrase this IF YOUR FRIENDS GIRLFRIEND OR EVEN THE GIRL HE'S FUCKING REGULARLY COMES ON TO YOU, AND YOU SLEEP WITH HER, YOU DESERVE TO GET DRAGGED BEHIND A CAR FOR 7 MILES OVER GRAVEL. Find your own girl for goodness sake. They outnumber us on the earth and yet, you can't find one of your own? I'm not saying that if you're friend breaks up with a girl you can't date her, you should probably ask him first, but really and truely if it's a long time ago and you know he's not still into her, its probably okay. But the issue here is how good your friends are, would they give you the same respect? If you don't think so maybe it's time to reevaluate your friendships... Milton "Yeah, I gave her 50 dollars and she let me eat the pussy" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanGulberry Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 ...VAN, you have a point, on a few levels, but hey... he wasn't brokenhearted or wanting to end our friendship over some vacay pussy.. he laughed about it while it was happening, and I would have too... fuck it, my boys and I are a lil' tighter than to let some dumb shit like that get in the way.. Now, if I'd have made moves on my other homie's girl w/ the streaks, that's different. That shit hurts everybody, and leads to nothing but problems. Thank God I never fucked with that... :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milton Posted August 26, 2004 Author Share Posted August 26, 2004 Get out your shovels, I'm digging in the crates... I'll post soon... Be affraid... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KING BLING Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 Originally posted by Vanity@May 29 2004, 07:42 PM plus i can't get it up when faded, so i dont even bother. i've been to many a party where i end up in the recliner w/ a beer and the host's girly mags that i found in the bathroom. Quoted post This is why new people act angry and try to attack teast and crayon oner....this guy should have at least got a homo over tone if not a straight revoking of the ghetto pass which he so clearly loves for said comments... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casual T. Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 The 12oz ladies need to make their own version of this thread. But they only gotta switch 2 letters and call it "Getting Paid: Without laying for it..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyHorton Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 watch out for herpes boys that shit is disgusting ! in the last couple of weeks i know of at least 4 or 5 friends who have been INFECTED or are risking INFECTION! fucking shits gross! just a heads up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoManiakal Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 nobody even touched going to the airport and meeting hot foriegn bitches there? and if all else fails.. theres alwatys fat hoes. They want some too and they always smell like food! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casual T. Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 They should call me "The Pimp of The Far East" because I get so many Asian chicks it's not even funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Originally posted by Casual T.@Oct 10 2004, 02:02 PM The 12oz ladies need to make their own version of this thread. But they only gotta switch 2 letters and call it "Getting Paid: Without laying for it..." Quoted post haah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T.T Boy Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 is it really that hard to get laid? honestly guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casual T. Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 Originally posted by T.T Boy@Oct 12 2004, 12:09 AM is it really that hard to get laid? honestly guys. Quoted post Yeah I never was too keen on a thread about "how to get laid". These niggas is breaking this shit down to a science. Just go out there and learn the ropes yourself the old-fashioned way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreightHunter241* Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 this shit is crazy.its not hard to find a girl thats into fucking,get off the computer sometime and find some chicks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suburbian bum Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 SO last week I get this girls number at school. She was obviously into me because she asked me for mine and kept telling me that I should take her to this club. So I call her up and set up a date. I pick her up, she is cool, we go to a movie, she seems really interested in me. Walking into the movie she keeps going "boy is it cold out here" like she wants me to put my arm around her or somthing. I didnt make a move then, but after about 10 mins in the movie. I casuallyl slip my hand down to hold hers.She gave me a cute smile and looked into me eyes. Everythings cool. Then after a couple mins she takes her hand away and goes, man does my hand itch. She itches it for a min then rests both her hands out of reach of me. So I am like "Man did I do somthing wrong, it seems like she doesnt want to hold hands" So I am like thats cool, mayby her hand actually does itch or somthing. So we leave the movie and its cold out I casually put my arm around her sholder and we have a good conversation and then driving home I make her laugh and everything. Walk her to the door give her a hug and say, "call me some time". That was fri, I wait till sunday afternoon to call her so I dont seem desperate. I give her phone a call and she doesnt pick up so I leave a message, and just say "Hey hows it going? We should get together for coffe sometime soon" I didnt call back after that. She never gave me a call. No big sweat though, mayby she was busy or somthing and I wasnt going to bug her... So on monday at school I see her and she obviously is avoiding me. Talking to other people I approach her and she quickly answered my question and went back to talking to other people. So basically she gave me the body language that she hated me now. Somthing totally different from what I got on the date. She now ignores me and hasnt called me again. What did I do wrong? Was calling her the sunday after a friday date too long to wait or too short? It seems like I did everything cool, and she is just fucked up and strange or somthing I really dont know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 Originally posted by suburbian bum@Oct 13 2004, 09:13 PM Walking into the movie she keeps going "boy is it cold out here" like she wants me to put my arm around her or somthing. Quoted post maybe she was just cold. for real. but she sounds kind of weird, rotten luck. im available and ready for pizza. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 oh, that sucks. I had sex with a pretty cool girl recently, and she wasn't even that hot. And she punked me off everytime I called her after that. And, no doubt I fed it to her, so it's not like I just wasn't no good. Perplexing. Maybe it's karma for me fucking over so many girls in the recent past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoManiakal Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoManiakal Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 the best part about the internet that i am greatful of every day, is the ability to gain knolege and help from the subjects i always needed the most with. At the same time it gives me the oppertunity to share myself and my own personal strengths with the entire planet. and with that, i que the music: the wild stalion in its natureal mating atmosphere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasonWhit Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 what happened to this thread? is it over? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tough Love Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 well, milton u seem to know your shit. I have a problem with chicks, and its to do with the 'FRIENDS ZONE" dealy. I have a few female friends, but they consider themselves only "friends"....."i dont want to ruin our friendship blah blah blah"..."im not ready for a relationship blah blah blah"....whats the best way to get around this, but also still stay friends if things don't work out...hahah i think my main problem is that maybe i dont seem too interested in anything serious, but this is mainly cuz ive been tooo interested and then got turned down..i guess there needs to be some kind of balance...ahh well food for thought :crap: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milton Posted October 26, 2004 Author Share Posted October 26, 2004 Originally posted by Casual T.@Oct 12 2004, 02:01 AM Yeah I never was too keen on a thread about "how to get laid". Quoted post You've been on here all of 10 minutes, get the fuck out of here... Seriously, you weren't even around when that thread was alive... Mr Suburban Bum: In my opinion it seems as though one of two things has happened. A) The young lady was feeling you out and has become disinterested. If this is the case, there is not really much you can do, leave her alone, maybe she'll come back, maybe she won't but as they say in the movies you really can't do shit to make her come back. Just let things go, find a new one and take her out, you don't want to be hanging around waiting for her to get her shit together, it will make you depserate, trust me. B) The young lady is trying to establish emotional dominance in the relationship Face it gentlemen, the era of women waiting coyly by the phone for your call is over, "ladies is pimps too." They know the game, and they play it better than you do. If this is the case, and you can basically tell by the fact that she is overtly ignoring you. If she is clearly and purposely avoiding you it probably means that she is trying to play a game, if she is avoiding you out of what seems like awkwardness to see you its probably the first. If she is overtly avoiding you, do the same right back, just quit calling her. You don't really want a girl that plays these games in the first place. And if I can't convince you of that, by not giving her the satisfaction you don't allow her to control your interactions. Give her the silent treatment, maybe hang out with other girls and shell be begging for dick in no time Lets face it, women love guys that pay them no attention, its the facts of life, do with that what you will. Mr. Tough Love: I don't really know if this helps you, but the best way to get out of the friend zone is to avoid it completely. If you are into a chick, let her know it, the worst that can happen is that she'll not be interested. Remember rejection happes to the best of us, if you never get rejected you're not trying often enough. Now about your current friends, the friends to dating and back to friends thing can work, but its about how close you are as friends. If you are really close you better be able to make a real commitment and then be willing to wait as long as it takes after you break up for her to be your friend again if ever. If you're just sort of friends the best way to get the dating thing started is just to let her know you want to party. Try this trick that seems to be working well for a few of my friends right now. Tell her you think she's really good looking (use beautiful, women love beautiful; I use gorgeous, but do whatever you think is best) and then see how she reacts. If she reacts well you can start to push things to see if shes interested in a relationship with you. Ask her to hang out with just you and then read her body language to see whats going on. There are already sections on that before. But, I'm never one for too much tact, so if you really want to get down to business, just tell her "I think we'd be good together, let me take you out sometime" and at worst she will say no and be a little awkward for a while. If shes a good friend and has any level of maturity she'll realize that most friends develop crushes on one another at some point and she'll still be cool with you... Good luck everyone, and im out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Moaner Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 my cousin is a freak in da sheets! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lalala Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 you guys are so cute for having this thread...take it from a lady all you need to do to get laid is be respectful, seem cool (like that you are not freaking out that everything is under control), dress somewhat decent i mean please take a shower and like change a shirt or something now the popped collar...yea guys should let that go..but polo's in nice colors and button downs are always hot. theres more but i dont feel like writing an essay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tough Love Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 oh yeah, heres a tip for every guy...CUT YOUR DAMN FINGERNAILS....wtf is this shit, i keep seeing ppl with claws on their hands....damn yo.....oh and thanks milton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.