Feed Yer Ego Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 AA is some dumb cult shit fore shore. with that said hi, my tag is sik and i'm an arrow-holic nah but seriously i have a drinking problem because i have life problems and sometimes i'm scared my panic attacks are maybe sometimes withdraws and i can't tell because i've had such problems with anxiety issues making everything feel like shit some days Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 yesterday drank almost 10 bottles of all types of champagne at work, very difficult to resist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feed Yer Ego Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 also i have linguistic probz too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 today i would really like to drink.... recurring thought that I can control it now after 4 years without.....headed to SF tonight. Fuck sometimes not drinking sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 new years stories!!! who's going first? guess i will. I came closer to breaking tonight than i have my entire time sober. Shit sucks & thinking about it sucks too. they were right, this is definitely the hardest part of the year. I was in a park with 2 friends who were drinking beers, they were drinking decent beer and mixed with it being cold and clear out.. a tall one sounded fucking wonderful. I resisted 'till they finished them. our group split up and i drove with one of my friends to the store where he had to acquire a sixer before we went to a house party. This was the same store where I always used to grab 40s and other shit... memories. we get to this house party and it's the same shit.. beers and people and a ton of shit i used to do that I don't anymore. I was only closest to drinking in the park though, by the time we left the store i realized how bad i was thirsting for something so i was watching myself a lot more closely. i had to drop a friend off in downtown dc at a friends house and we drove down a stretch of bars littered with drunk people all over the place, girls stumbling around.. and somehow that worked, I didn't want to be a part of it at all, suddenly. Getting home sober, by the end of the night, was just fine with me. After tomorrow the hardest part of the year will be over for me.. my family always turns it way the fuck up for new years day & i'll never understand why. I'm not out of the woods yet but i'm close.. i can see the light. How did your night go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 i kicked it a my brother in laws crib at Embarcadero. I got a 6 of some NA brews because I knew i would be drooling over other folks drinks. At several points I was telling my wife/cousin "you know maybe I can drink and just control myself etc" "i can just start over tomorrow, if i drink tonight." people were playing kings cup, i played with my NA brew. whatever, still had fun clownig around. but as the night progressed, like injury said I started to see how people were getting stupid. We went and watched fireworks, I was a little pissed that I couldnt really just have a quality 30 mins with my wife watching the show...she was buzzing hard, joking around,clowning on folks etc. Compton Red was there ended up yelling at people on the street from the back seat of my ride, trying to climb out the window etc. I had to check him like yo not in my rig bro, thats not how i roll. People ended up gettig in deep drunken convos about family shit, folks tearing up and all I could think about was damn I am glad I dont drink. I would have gone off, chances are really high I would have fought someone on the Embarcadero. My night was decent, hard to be around so much partying....but I made it through sober. On a sidenote it is funny how alcohol affects people, my brother in law is super reserved....generally says whats up,maybe has a couple things to say and thats it. Last night dude is like everyones long lost best friend, wont stop talking, cussing like a truck driver.....dont get me wrong i had fun with the guy but talk about how alcohol can change a personality. Hope you guys had a good time, Happy New Years dudes... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IRON CHEF Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 I HURRIED AND STUFFED MYSELF WITH WAY TOO MUCH TACO-BELL SO I WOULD BE TOO FULL TO GO OUT WITH THE MANY FOOLS TEXTING ME TO GO TO BARS WITH THEM. LAME, BUT IT WORKED, DIDN'T DRINK AT ALL THIS WEEKEND. IMG. FOREVERALONE.JPG IMG/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 good work y'all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redeyedanimal Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Gor a beer and wine brewing kit given to me for christmas, too interested in the brewing process to resist making some. Been keeping myself to 4 or fewer brews since christmas, when I made a total ass of myself on tequila with the family. I finally realized while drinking how much different it makes my personality, and I don't like it. Been having dreams regularly about going back to the rooms, but Still haven't gotten my ass up to do something different. It's not time for me yet... again... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 went to a bar on new years with my girl and our friends (iron chef, i have a feeling we have some mutual friends, now that i've wiggled into the scene here...) for NYE. it was rowdy as hell, 20 year anniversary for the place coinciding with the usual NYE festivities. i wasn't tripping at all. drank my usual soda water with lime and got rowdy with 'em, sans drink. i will admit, there were a few times when the smell of liquor triggered a "why am i not drinking?" thought, but i was able to promptly remind myself. it was a fun night. our homegirl got super wasted, puking began, so we cut out at about 1 to take care of her. another friendly reminder of why i don't drink. her misery continued through the entire next day. happy new year! good job to those of you who pushed through it. here's to 2012 without a sip Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Still haven't had a drink...probably going on 10 weeks now. Lost count... I feel better, but feel haunted by my past. I no longer wake up at 5 AM with withdrawals, now I wake up at that time depressed about the way I have lived for the past years. I am caught up on replaying things and wondering how much happier and where I would be in life if I had not wasted most of the last decade wasted. I know this is not healthy to do. I feel myself losing my mind at times but cannot seem to shake these memories and what ifs. I am not following any steps and am doing this by myself. But I know one of the steps is to make amends with people you have wronged. I think I won't find peace until I can do this. But the person I wronged the most won't talk to me and is no longer in the same city so I have no way of reaching this. Anybody dealt with something similar? Or can offer any advice? Thanks, happy new years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IRON CHEF Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 "YOUR A LOT FUNNER TO HANG WITH WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK" "YOU SHOULD COME AROUND MORE" = (YOU SHOULD DRINK WITH ME) "YOU DON'T TALK THAT MUCH ANYMORE NOW THAT YOU'RE SOBER" "DON'T YOU MISS IT" "WE'LL JUST HAVE A COUPLE, IT WILL BE ALRIGHT, WE WON'T DRINK TOMORROW" "WHY DON'T YOU KICK IT?" "I LIKED YOU ALOT MORE WHEN YOU DRANK" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 anyone who said that stuff to me would catch a ration of shit... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 i remember getting into a loud, ridiculous shouting match with my uncle about the root causes of terrorism after thanksgiving about 12 years ago.. that shit was completely unnecessary and i got into a crazy bike wreck on the way home. i do not miss holidays with alcohol even a little bit. i had a bottle of wine collecting dust in my kitchen and gave it to my bff who is trying to stay off the pot while looking for a new job. one thing about not drinking, it meant my days of going to the bar came to an ubrupt and complete end i could handle bars without alcohol, other people could not handle me not drinking "what's wrong???? oh come on! something must be the matter, you aren't pouring rum down your throat!" "why aren't you drinking?!?!??" "just have ONE, here i bought it for you!" "someone left this drink with your name on it" seriously assholes, thanks but NO THANKS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newer Bigger Better Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 You call your friends assholes because they bought you drinks and wanted you to have a good time? What a bunch of dicks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 i'm hungry and home alone and fuck if i don't want some beers right about nao. mother fucker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IRON CHEF Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 You call your friends assholes because they bought you drinks and wanted you to have a good time? What a bunch of dicks. THEY'RE ASSHOLES BECAUSE THEY KNOW SOMEONE IS TRYING TO QUIT AND THEY KEEP PUSHING IT. http://www.notrealfreinds.net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Still haven't had a drink...probably going on 10 weeks now. Lost count... I feel better, but feel haunted by my past. I no longer wake up at 5 AM with withdrawals, now I wake up at that time depressed about the way I have lived for the past years. I am caught up on replaying things and wondering how much happier and where I would be in life if I had not wasted most of the last decade wasted. I know this is not healthy to do. I feel myself losing my mind at times but cannot seem to shake these memories and what ifs. I am not following any steps and am doing this by myself. But I know one of the steps is to make amends with people you have wronged. I think I won't find peace until I can do this. But the person I wronged the most won't talk to me and is no longer in the same city so I have no way of reaching this. Anybody dealt with something similar? Or can offer any advice? Thanks, happy new years. This was somethig i have struggled with over the last year. i had a set back, being laid off from a job that was paying me 70k+ annually...they went to hire me as permanent and some felony/misdemeanor 594 charges came back in my background. So I got laid off....keep in mind I was sober at the time for over 2 years, this was wreckage coming back to haunt me. For the last year I have had complete bullshit jobs for 10$/hr or brutally demanding hard labor jobs that required 40 mile one way commutes. In the meantime who else suffers from my past choices, my wife and son etc. What it comes down to is that if you stay on the right path things are going in the right direction. They will get better, I am on my 3 rd job in the last year, everytime its been an upgrade and I interviewed yesterday for an even better gig. Now had i been off the sober train, no doubt I would be back to the streets with all the banger/dealer/crew fools that are exactly where I left them 4 years ago. You are on to something with the amends, doesnt even have to be done through AA or steps....but it lifts a world of pain off your conscience. Nothing has helped me to forgive more then asking for forgiveness and making things right with people. Shoot me a pm if you want to hear about specifics or if you have a question on how to go about it.....really helps to start clean. And you need to keep in mind, we learn from our past and to be honest it makes us who we are. Nothing to regret if you use the past to help you or someone else now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 what happens when you've been soaber a good while, and done the whole AA thing... but then you go to AA once a week or however often it is that you go and speak about drink for an hour? don't you just come oot thinkin' you could use a drink? doesn't it make it harder i guess is what i'm trying to say..? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IRON CHEF Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 AS LONG AS YOU DON'T "ROMANTISIZE" (Which they wouldn't let you complete that action) YOU'D BE FINE, OR AT LEAST A POSITIVE MEETING WOULDN'T TOLERATE IT. THE ONLY OTHER THING WOULD BE THE PRE-MEETING ANXIETY TO KNOW WILL HAPPEN AND TO BE READY FOR. AGAIN, THE MEETINGS ARE FOR THOUGHTS PROBLEMS TO CURE, NOT "REMEMBER THE DRUNK SHIT I USED TO DO". UP AND DOWN EMOTIONS (LOL) ARE TRIGGERS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdoughnut69 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 What it comes down to is that if you stay on the right path things are going in the right direction. They will get better, And you need to keep in mind, we learn from our past and to be honest it makes us who we are. Nothing to regret if you use the past to help you or someone else now. ^^^^THIS^^^^ Every single day is a step further in the right direction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhMyGosh! Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 what happens when you've been soaber a good while, and done the whole AA thing... but then you go to AA once a week or however often it is that you go and speak about drink for an hour? don't you just come oot thinkin' you could use a drink? doesn't it make it harder i guess is what i'm trying to say..? Ive been sober for longer than 11 years, and still attend meetings regularly. Ive "done the whole AA thing" as you say. I dont speak very much about drinking at meetings. Thats not what they're for. I started going to meetings because I didnt know how to stay sober and I had exhausted all of my other options. If when I finally got to a meeting, all I heard about was drinking, I probably wouldnt have lasted this long sober. What I did hear about was what people were doing to not drink. I heard about people getting sponsors and doing step work, speaking at meetings, praying, helping people and picking the phone up. Bla bla bla. All of which are things that I thought were utterly retarded and pointless and for lack of a better word...gay. I spent nearly 8 years not doing all of those things but still staying sober. For me..that didnt work out so well. I was still robbing people and stealing to support myself, getting arrested and fighting a lot, and overall, just being a lowlife scumbag. If you are still about that, go for it. The only difference was that I was now doing it sober and I was no longer able to pass it off as another shitty drunken mistake. It stopped being a good time and long story short...I still felt shitty about the way I was living my life. I eventually felt bad enough where I asked somebody who I thought had their shit together, what they had done to not feel so shitty anymore. This dude gave me a few simple suggestions which I was able to do...and things went on from there. I think its pretty cool that I no longer have to feel miserable anymore. I am hopeful. I do hear some people talk about drinking and 'the way things were' at meetings...but I cant say that I have ever heard that people felt better while drinking. Most of the things that people share about in their drinking days are pretty grim..hence the reason they are at an AA meeting. Nobody shows up in a limo. Ha. Things have to get pretty bad before most people are willing to check one out. So..I guess to answer your question. No. Going to meetings doest whet my appetite for booze nor does it make it harder to stay clean. In fact, quite the opposite is true for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Care to share the few simple suggestions with the thread? thnx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleazeside Heights Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Haven't drank since before Christmas(minus a glass or two of wine at holiday dinner). The holidays were extremely challenging and tough with the family this year. Somehow I dealt with all the craziness on my own. Don't know how i pulled that one off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I keep trying to quit then slipping up. I don't know if it's work stressing me out, my Dad drinking rum and coke now, or my girlfriend constantly reminding me I'm a bum. Either way, I have some traveling to do this month and feel like I'm gonna blow it. FUCK YOU PROBLEMS, FUCK YOU Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Might just not be your time yet. A lot of people in my program had bottomed the fuck out and came to one of a few realizations, usually something like "I ruined myself and am physically incapable of living this way" or "I lost a good friend/spouse/etc and it was because of alcohol and i want to stop" or "My situation is shitty and alcohol makes it this way." If you don't want to change ... you won't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Hitting bottom is over rated. Once the decision is made for real it all gets a fuck of a lot easier and easier still with time in my experience. One day at a time. Problems exist, using does not make them go away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IRON CHEF Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 DOWN TO THE BARE INGREDIENTS = If you don't want to change ... you won't. One day at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I did want to change and I went super long, no drinking. Life did get better for me too, but now it's trying to keep from falling back into the bottle from lack of motivation. I haven't drank in a few days, hope I don't fuck up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 been having a bunch of shit to deal with lately....it is hard to do it without the escape using gives. but i have been staying sober because i know it is what is best for me. even took a day off just to hit up a meeting, chill and get some perspective. and guess what the conclusion was, life is hard at times man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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