Overtime Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Originally posted by Dr. Dazzle@Feb 4 2005, 08:04 PM Mr. burns: So do you have a way to get rid of the protesters? Grandpa: One way to get rid of them is to tell them stories that dont go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say! Now where were we? Oh yeah - the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions back then because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones....... Or something along those lines... Quoted post one of the best ever,,,,,best... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 I still think the best ever was the helloween episode where bart could read mind and was all powerfull. He calls Moe and Moe says somthing like ' I'm a big butt who like to sniff my own butt'. onsecple..... I charge you to find the EXACT quote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overtime Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 consider it done. ten minutes, 20 tops.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunm Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 "Smashy smashy!" -Bart after Homer tells him to break open a store front so the simpsons can use flash cameras against an army of killer itchy and scratchy robots. also... Homer: "So the king told Hercules that he would give him all sorts of riches..." Bart: "Wait, is this a bible story?" Homer: "Yeah, probably" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overtime Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 fuck, i need more time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0RB1T0N3R Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 moe- listen to me you, when i catch you. im gonna rip out yer eyes and shuv em down yer pants so you can watch me kick the crap out of you i have a few but thats the first one that came to mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellbeefer Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 "i'm so hungry i could eat Arby's" - ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Dazzle Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Homer: "I'm sick of this Tarzan movie" Lisa: "Dad, it's a documentary on the homeless" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DETO Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut? Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit? Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DETO Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday. Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DETO Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him. Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DETO Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup? Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa. Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product. Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy? Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning. Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart. Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out. Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said. Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case. Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to. Homer: Bart, go to your room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DETO Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such. Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered? Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness. Ralph: That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun. Bart: Right, the leprechaun. Ralph: He told me to burn things. Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic. Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting. Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mackfatsoe Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 ^^ :haha: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatalist Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Originally posted by Dr. Dazzle@Feb 5 2005, 11:33 PM Homer: "I'm sick of this Tarzan movie" Lisa: "Dad, it's a documentary on the homeless" Quoted post GOLDEN :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CACashRefund Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? Marge:Thats because you were drunk! Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down." Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau? Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it. Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles. Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2. Homer: Look everyone! Now that I'm a teacher I've sewn patches on my elbows. Marge: Homer that's supposed to be leather patches on a tweed jacket, not the other way around. You've ruined a perfectly good jacket. Homer: Correction, Marge.(he holds up a tweed jacket with holes in it) Two perfectly good jackets! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GLIK$ Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 "awww, so that's what's wrong with the lil fella... he misses casual sex." "I realized I wasnt a kid anymore when the judge said, 'We're trying you as an adult.' " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CACashRefund Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Homer: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws! Marge: Homer, I don't want you driving around in a car you built yourself. Homer: You can sit there complaining, or you can knit me some seat belts. Duffman: Hey Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar loooove Duff? Carl: Hey, it's Duffman! Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure. Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah! Rainier Wolfcastle: I have purchased the Springfield YMCA. I plan to tear it down and turn the land into a nature preserve. There, I will hunt the deadliest game of all... man Superintendant Chalmers: Why is it when I heard the word 'school' and the word 'exploded,' I immediately thought of the word 'SKINNER'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boredstiff Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 "My name is Barney, and im an alcoholic" Mr. Gumble, this is a girl scout meating... is it?....or is it that you girls cant see you have a problem same episode, Burns: Smithers, get me Steven Spielbergs non-union mexican equivelent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dudebra1 Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 homer to mr burns: "what are you gonna do, release the dogs? or the bees? or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you..." fucking classic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DETO Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life? Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimsøn Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 UP AND AT THEM! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 zee gogles, zey do nawthing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DETO Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Flanders: i'm like Michael Moore, only i'm skinny, got clean jeans on and god loves me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 if there was a new simpsons on tonight, which there probably was... I've missed it because I'm stuck at work. clients.... fuck'em! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
effyoo Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 ^^there was. when homer was throwing barrels at mario like donkey kong was golden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 damnit now I'm going to HAVE to watch summer re-runs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest krie Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 eddie: hey cheif, can i whole my gun like this tonight, makes me feel kinda cool cheif: well seeming its your birthday okay eddie: hey cheif, lou splashed me cheif: i dont want to hear it, you just splash him back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 I am going to go and watch the simpsons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overtime Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 do you have anything to drink only crab juice anything else only mountain dew and crab juice EHWWWWW, ill take a crab juice... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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