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Originally posted by krie@Feb 7 2005, 10:53 AM

eddie: hey cheif, can i whole my gun like this tonight, makes me feel kinda cool

 

cheif: well seeming its your birthday okay

 

Chief Wiggum said: "Anything you want birthday boy."

 

in response to Lou asking if he could hold his gun like a rapper

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  • 1 year later...

I don't know about favorite quote, but my favorite simpsons episode has always been the one where homer eats a psychedelic chili pepper at a bbq or something and he wigs and goes in search of his soulmate. lol

Marge goes looking for him determining that he would probably head down hill (least resistance) and towards the light. She finds him at a lighthouse or something.

Turns out Homers soulmate was Marge all along.

lol dude was buggin.

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director: i know how you feel, mr. simpson. I myself have spent years searching for my long-lost twin brother.

 

homer: yeah yeah yeah. well, i wish i could help you, but we're looking for MY brother today.

 

director: your brother could be anywhere. even ... detroit.

 

homer: i know he could be anywhere, that's why i want you to narrow it down! please!

 

director: you know, mr. simpson, if you ask me, the city of brotherly love isn't philadelphia, it's ... DETROIT

 

homer: well, if you asked me, changing the subject makes you the most worthless, heartless excuse for a human being I ever...

 

director: read between the lines, mr. simpson!

 

homer: oh, i get it! okay. here's twenty bucks. now will you tell me where my brother lives?

 

 

director: detroit mr. simpson. your brother lives in detroit.

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Originally posted by DETO@Feb 6 2005, 07:56 AM

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?

Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.

Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.

Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?

Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.

Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.

Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.

Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.

Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.

Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.

Homer: Bart, go to your room.

 

Ths takes the cake

lol'n

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Wiggum- Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh better start with Greektown.

Friday- That's "Homer J. Simpson", Chief. You're reading it upside down.

Wiggum- Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh bring back some of them uh gyros.

Friday: Uh, Chief you're talking into your wallet.

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Originally posted by stevefrench@Mar 21 2006, 02:53 PM

director: i know how you feel, mr. simpson. I myself have spent years searching for my long-lost twin brother.

 

homer: yeah yeah yeah. well, i wish i could help you, but we're looking for MY brother today.

 

director: your brother could be anywhere. even ... detroit.

 

homer: i know he could be anywhere, that's why i want you to narrow it down! please!

 

director: you know, mr. simpson, if you ask me, the city of brotherly love isn't philadelphia, it's ... DETROIT

 

homer: well, if you asked me, changing the subject makes you the most worthless, heartless excuse for a human being I ever...

 

director: read between the lines, mr. simpson!

 

homer: oh, i get it! okay. here's twenty bucks. now will you tell me where my brother lives?

 

 

director: detroit mr. simpson. your brother lives in detroit.

 

 

Agagagagaga!

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  • 4 months later...

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?

Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.

Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.

Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?

Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.

Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.

Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.

Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.

Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.

Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.

Homer: Bart, go to your room.

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  • 11 months later...

Manager: Do you like children?

Homer: What do you mean, all the time? Even when they're nuts?

 

 

 

Skinner: "You've just earned yourself 2 months detention. Theres no such this as Scotchtoberfest"

Willie: "Theres not!!! YA USED ME SKINNER, YA USSSSED ME!!!!"

 

 

 

 

Insurance guy - "This place Moe's. It's an establishment of some sort?"

Homer's Brain - "Don't tell him you were at a bar"

Homer - "It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography."

Homer's Brain - "Hee, hee. I would have never thought of that."

 

 

 

Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?

Homer: Never! Never, Marge! I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all! The terrifying lows! The dizzying highs! The creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called City Fathers who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

 

 

 

"Its all comin up Millhouse!"

 

 

 

Mother Simpson: [sings] How many roads must a man walk down / Before you can call him a man...

Homer: Seven.

Lisa: No, dad, it's a rhetorical question.

Homer: OK, eight.

Lisa: Dad, do you even know what "rhetorical" means?

Homer: Do *I* know what "rhetorical" means?

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the beer baron episode

 

detective: i'll catch you beer baron if its the last thing i do

Homer: No you wont

detective:yes i will

homer: NOPE!

 

TOMACCO episode

 

Ralph: Daddy this taste like grandma

chief wiggum: holy moly this does taste like grandma

Ralph: i want more

chief wiggum: me to! gimme a bushel or a bundel just gimme.

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