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His real name is Barry Duffman.

 

 

Sideshow Bob: "How on earth do you have so many enemies?"

Homer: "Well I'm a real people person..... who drinks"

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Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Pork chops?

Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.

Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

 

and:

 

dinnacry.gif

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I saw this one last night!

 

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

 

it's the Submarine episode.

 

Captain: Maybe it's all the salt water in my blood, or the nitrus bubbles in my brain....

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the episode where skinner and kabople are baracaded in the school with bart

 

Homer: BART, THIS IS YOUR FATHER, DO YOU KNOW...WHERE THE REMOTE IS? I LOOKED ALL OVER THE HOUSE

 

Bart:DID YOU CHECK YOUR POCKET!?

 

Looks in pocket, turns to marge with the megaphone in hand still

 

Homer: IT WAS, it was in my pocket

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Mrs. Lovejoy: So, Bart, how's school going? Jessica always gets straight A's.

Bart: Well, in my family grades aren't that important. It's what you learn that counts.

Rev. Lovejoy: Six times five, what is it?

Bart: Um...

 

 

and this one is deep:

 

Homer: And what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week, we're just making God madder and madder!

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Episode where the kids are snowed in at school. Homer and Flanders race to school in Homers car to save them. En Route, they hit something buried in the snow.

 

Flanders: Homer, i think we may have hit someone

Homer: Heh heh, i hope it was Flanders

::Flanders scowls at homer::

Homer: Oh...uh...heh heh, i was just kidding, you're alright!

 

Same episode

 

Homer: I grow weary of your sexually suggestive dancing. Bring me my ranch dressing hose (or something along those lines)

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Mr. burns: So do you have a way to get rid of the protesters?

 

Grandpa: One way to get rid of them is to tell them stories that dont go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say! Now where were we? Oh yeah - the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions back then because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.......

 

Or something along those lines...

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