Frate_Raper Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 I was watching this family shovel snow at a chruch,my boy goes "who makes their kid get up at this hour to shovel snow?" out of my vile, retarded, shitty mouth pops "the same dad that forces himself into his sons mouth". We died laughing but what the fuck is wrong with me? I say,think and do the worst shit.I'm a horrible person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 I was getting head once and the girl gagged and nearly puked and I said "that was a bit frothy". It was funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoboThruster Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 that first one really isn't that funny. I have to live with a bunch of girly little homos like that at the moment. Every two seconds they are like "hey you ... your really gay. Snicker snicker" and all these dudes will laugh at that shit and i'll be standing there looking at them like "what are you twelve bitch?" That frothy call however is pretty funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoboThruster Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 ohh and I was going to say, regret of ones speech is always a sign of poor self esteem. When people tell you they are trying to stop swearing or saying ill shit. What they are really saying is "I'm not comfortable with who I am. Some how manipulate that weakness to your advantage". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoboThruster Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 ^ that sounds like i'm calling you out or something. What I meant was, relax. Your either a chill guy who says retarded shit once in awhile (which means your still chill) or your a douche. If you were a douche you wouldnt care about what you were saying cos you'de be a douche. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrJackDaniels Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 Originally posted by RoboThruster@Dec 16 2005, 04:36 PM that first one really isn't that funny. I have to live with a bunch of girly little homos like that at the moment. Every two seconds they are like "hey you ... your really gay. Snicker snicker" and all these dudes will laugh at that shit and i'll be standing there looking at them like "what are you twelve bitch?" That frothy call however is pretty funny. Quoted post my housemates are like this. they always come back with either "you are" or "your mum does" in a wierd accent anytime you may say anything. drives me nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tough Love Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 hahaha i blurted out something i shouldnt have the other day basically it was in a group of some frnds while this girl i was kinda into was with us as well altho i didnt really talk to her i told em how im doing a women studies course and they all said how its filled with man hating lesbos, and i was like nah, theres tons of babes in the class i bet. thats the only reason im taking it cuz of the babes. Then they chimed in with yeh well they prolly dont shave their legs. And i reply, fuck whatever id rather have a non shaven leg babe then no babe at all.... then the girl that im into got up and left..... good times Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted December 16, 2005 Author Share Posted December 16, 2005 WOW I forgot about starting this,I worked all night. Gay jokes are fucking weak but jokes about ruffies,religon and sand boxes tear shit apart.If that lowers my self esteme in any way then I need to go on Opraha and cry about my shitbag life up to this point. Another sweet exsample of me being a fuck One crew of guys roles up to my truck.I can't see one of the retards they have on their crew."Hey buddy wheres stupid Chris?" stupid Chris sits up in the back of the crew cab. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duh-rye-won Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 i went to school with this kid that only had one arm. i remember the first day saw him in class i said, "damn, dudes only got one arm". i have no idea why i said it out loud. he heard me. i apologized for being an idiot. but i have no idea why i did that. i felt so fucking bad. i get mad when people point out my tattoos all the time. how the fuck does dude feel having some asshole in his class point out the fact that he is missing an arm. i never forgave myself for that one. funny, how shit can pop into your head and come out with out you really meaning it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dobsilla Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 Originally posted by iquit@Dec 17 2005, 04:38 AM i went to school with this kid that only had one arm. i remember the first day saw him in class i said, "damn, dudes only got one arm". i have no idea why i said it out loud. he heard me. i apologized for being an idiot. but i have no idea why i did that. i felt so fucking bad. i get mad when people point out my tattoos all the time. how the fuck does dude feel having some asshole in his class point out the fact that he is missing an arm. i never forgave myself for that one. funny, how shit can pop into your head and come out with out you really meaning it. Quoted post damn dude,youve got tattoos, let me see them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gigantic Jug Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 i have this black friend thats in all of my classes, and we joke around callin' eachother nigga.... I always say nigga at the wrong time though, its most likely when everyone gets quiet immediately and then i say it... i just have bad luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaolinmasta Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 lk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TURBOCAPSLOK Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 I WAS AT THIS SHOP THE OTHER DAY LIKE A BIG RETAIL MUSIC STORE AND THIS DUDE WALKS PAST WITH A PASTEL YELLOW T SHIRT WITH SOME ORANGE WRITING ON IT, AND HE WAS WEARING MATCHING ORANGE THONGS. HAD THE NICE BLEACHED HAIR AND WAS SUCKIN DOWN SOME YUPPIE JUICE - AKA REALLY EXPENSIVE JUICE FROM SOME TRENDY JUICE BAR I TURN TO MY FRIEND AND I GO - CHECK OUT THIS FAGGOT TURNED OUT I SAID IT TOO LOUD AND THE DUDE TURNED ROUND AND GREASED ME OFF.. I JUST LAUGHED BUT I STILL FELT KINDA BAD WATEVER Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kr430n5_666 Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 DUDE I AM HILARIOUS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted December 18, 2005 Author Share Posted December 18, 2005 I went out for a night on the town with an old friend and his new girlie. He was so pumped over this chick,and yes she was hot, so we hit two art openings and then a bar.It's like 3 am and his lady is fucking smashed. Matty rolls to the can to and this chick and I are having a laugh about something when she screams in my face "yeah like me having no FUCKING HAND".....and she stuffs her nub in my face. I didn't even notice until then she was missing her left hand, Matt said he was walking up to us as she said it.............I dropped my pint of oj and was in comlete shock.I didn't even laugh at her joke.I felt really bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 One time at a Jays game, there was a dude proposing to his girlfriend up on the big screen. I say, "Geez, what kind of hurtbag would propose to his wife at a Blue Jay game?" and the guy I was with says ""I don't know, some kind of loser, I guess". And then we see ourselves up on the big screen sitting right behind them. We felt bad, but it's all good because it turns out that they were already engaged. And my friend's dad's friend got them a plastic Blue Jay ring, which they really appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted December 18, 2005 Author Share Posted December 18, 2005 Way better if it was an argos game! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foneiz2 Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 this guy in my history class always cracks jokes about arabs and i always laugh. Now i find out the kid on the other side of us is an arab. It doesnt matter though because hes on drugs all the time and doesnt wear shoes or washes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YourSistersAssCookie Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 not wear shoes and not washing is asking to have jokes made about you. say what you feel people life is to short to hold back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sillysiphilis Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 I was at this bar and this old guy with parkinson's spills his drink all over the counter. So I look right at him and I say, "Hey you fucking Jew, why don't you make your self useful and stick your self in a goddamn oven?" Then he tells me that he was a survivor of the Holocaust. It was SOOOOO embarassing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
defyoner Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 Originally posted by Kr430n5_666@Dec 17 2005, 06:34 AM DUDE I AM HILARIOUS Quoted post agreed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest beardo Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 i keep telling my roomate to "kill yourself", like i do to everyone else. yeah. her husband killed himself last year. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 Nothing beats the time i was talkin to this kid and spilling my guts to him about how much i hate mormons and how creepy they are to me. With his eyes welling up he told me that he was mormon. Hahaha. Man. That was great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLIKBITCH Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 Originally posted by beardo@Dec 19 2005, 12:06 AM i keep telling my roomate to "kill yourself", like i do to everyone else. yeah. her husband killed himself last year. :lol: Quoted post low low low stuff, haha, but funyy.... :haha: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuse=--action Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 Originally posted by sillysiphilis@Dec 18 2005, 08:35 PM I was at this bar and this old guy with parkinson's spills his drink all over the counter. So I look right at him and I say, "Hey you fucking Jew, why don't you make your self useful and stick your self in a goddamn oven?" Then he tells me that he was a survivor of the Holocaust. It was SOOOOO embarassing. Quoted post So parkinsons comes from the Holocaust? -fuse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiliStCynical Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 I was at the bar last week with my girl and we're sitting at this table next to the bar. Well, these 2 guys in their mid 40s are sitting there drinking. They're out of place since it's usually a younger/college age crowd there. One of them is looking out at the crowd while the other is looking directly at us. So he's staring for a good 10 minutes and it's starting to bug me, and I lean over to my friend and ask "what the fuck is this dude fucking staring at?" Well, they finish their drinks and get up to leave and the guy who was staring grabs his blind stick/walking stick... Yeah. Wear some glasses or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sillysiphilis Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 Originally posted by fuse=--action+Dec 19 2005, 01:15 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (fuse=--action - Dec 19 2005, 01:15 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-sillysiphilis@Dec 18 2005, 08:35 PM I was at this bar and this old guy with parkinson's spills his drink all over the counter. So I look right at him and I say, "Hey you fucking Jew, why don't you make your self useful and stick your self in a goddamn oven?" Then he tells me that he was a survivor of the Holocaust. It was SOOOOO embarassing. Quoted post So parkinsons comes from the Holocaust? -fuse. Quoted post [/b] Atleast thats what Michael J Fox told me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
^ . ^ Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 reading this gave me the good laugh that i needed.. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seven.13 Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 Hahaha good thread. I say stupid things all the time. Recently- I go to art school, and although I am in the somewhat sane Photo Dept., I still see all kinds of wierdos. (rotund girls in togas, dudes in capes, chicks wearing bunny ears, paper shirts, paper skirts, drunken gay dudes in sailor outfits....) I was in the colour labs waiting to use the kolex and this girl comes out of the room smiles at me and walks on. She had vampire teeth. Honest to god vampire teeth. I was in a cranky, sleep deprived mood and remarked to my friend, what does she think she's a vampire or something, wtf. My friend looks at me in horror and says no, her teeth are just naturally like that, right as vampire girl looks over her shoulder and gives me a hurt look. I felt shame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOx Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 Originally posted by beardo@Dec 19 2005, 05:06 AM i keep telling my roomate to "kill yourself", like i do to everyone else. yeah. her husband killed himself last year. :lol: Quoted post When I was young and naieve I said " I never really liked him anyway" about a guy my sister knew, who had just killed himself. In my defence I was about 10, but I will never live that one down Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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