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if i was celery...

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by seeking, Nov 18, 2005.

  1. seeking

    seeking Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 25, 2000 Messages: 32,277 Likes Received: 235
    i would hire a gang of thugs who stalked the paparazzi and kicked the living shit out of them on a weekly basis. then when they showed up the next night trying to get pics of me and their hands were broken and their faces were swollen up like babboon asses i'd be all like 'daaaaaaam brah, you don't look so hot' and i'd laugh at them. sometimes, when i was feeling extra frisky, i'd go out with the thugs myself and i'd wear like a batman mask or something, and i'd smash them in the face with a hammer and i'd say shit like 'oh shit, did i just hit you in the face with this hammer? i'm sorry, here, let me sop up the blood with this hammer' then i'd hit them again, and i'd keep fucking doing it over and over like that stupid ass 'pete and repeat are in a boat, pete jumps out, who's left?' joke.

    i think they'd get the message.
  2. trackstand

    trackstand Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 21, 2004 Messages: 2,262 Likes Received: 3
  3. GLIK$

    GLIK$ Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 23, 2002 Messages: 22,277 Likes Received: 117
    yo, this is kinda wack god.

    But it's still not gonna get closed!
  4. shameless self promotion

    shameless self promotion 12oz Legend

    Joined: Mar 7, 2001 Messages: 16,307 Likes Received: 113
    I believe there was a cheesy movie along these same lines awhile back....


    Joined: Sep 3, 2004 Messages: 448 Likes Received: 0
    'oh shit, did i just hit you in the face with this hammer? i'm sorry, here, let me sop up the blood with this hammer'
  6. FunTimePartyTeam

    FunTimePartyTeam Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 19, 2005 Messages: 2,029 Likes Received: 0
  7. Gunm

    Gunm Banned

    Joined: Aug 31, 2003 Messages: 12,427 Likes Received: 1
    Papparazzi are bottom feeders
  8. GEEB

    GEEB Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 6, 2004 Messages: 1,803 Likes Received: 43
    If i was a celebrity the very most absolutly first thing i would do is check into a really expensive hotel and take a big poop in the bathroom without flushing the toilet. then id check out...all in three minuets.
  9. CACashRefund

    CACashRefund 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 14,171 Likes Received: 272
    if i was a celebrity id chop up then snort some rails of coke while letting people with video cameras record me.
  10. Gunm

    Gunm Banned

    Joined: Aug 31, 2003 Messages: 12,427 Likes Received: 1
    I would have an entourage of hot asian girl that would double as bodyguards
  11. crackhouserocks

    crackhouserocks Junior Member

    Joined: Jul 20, 2005 Messages: 144 Likes Received: 0
    the cocaine would flow like water

    KING OF HELL Guest

    I would be a recluse to add mystique to my persona. like J.D. Salinger.
  13. Weapon X

    Weapon X 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Sep 6, 2002 Messages: 14,905 Likes Received: 202
    I'd be on some Vinnie Chase shit.
  14. DREDZ

    DREDZ Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 14, 2002 Messages: 1,934 Likes Received: 0
    ..I'd paint a picture, I'd climb a tree, I'd sing the songs that I liked to sing
  15. Fox Mulder

    Fox Mulder 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Nov 23, 2000 Messages: 12,434 Likes Received: 86
    i was just thinking i hadn't seen you post in a while