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sarcasm

bat

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I lived in a 3rd floor apartment that was an attic transformed into an apartment. I had these old windows that had small holes in the screen, holes big enough for a bat to wiggle through. So one day I came home to my cat staring at my laundry basket. Then I hear this squeal noise only to find a bat folded up in the laundry basket squealing. Apparently my cat fucked it up and left it in the laundry for me to admire. I ended up putting it in a pizza box and throwing it outside.

 

Then one night I came home 100% shitfaced. I was "talk to yourself" drunk. So I sit down in my living room and notice this shadow going across the hallways. I go out there and it's a fucking bat flying in circles. So being stupidly drunk, I instantly reach down and grab an acoustic guitar. I turn back around and actually yelled "YOU COME IN MY FUCKING HOUSE" before swinging the guitar through the air to create a nice solid THUD. There on the floor lay the bat, dead or knocked out. I stood above it talking shit saying "That's right mother fucker! That's right!" All while beating it with the guitar like Kevin Dillon beat that kid in Platoon.

 

Fuck bats.

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austin_bats.jpg

 

In downtown Austin, there are tons of bats that live under one of the bridges.

Erry night at dusk, they swarm out.

It's pretty awesome.

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