Not to be a dick but fuck you man. Getting a hard on for someone else's misery is gonna fuck your life up for a while if you don't fix that way of thinking, its just awful. its the core root that separates good people from bad people. I have been tempted to feel that way but I always feel a sense of good like a good angel telling me do the right thing, don't take pleasure in that shit.
I like you Cunt so I am saying this as a homie not to be an asshole. Fix that shit. It will make you happier.
There are Co-ed nights (sat night) All men night (thurs) women's night, I don't remember what night that was.
I went to 6 or 7 Co-ed nights. I felt like a sleaze going there till I went. The people there are all characters.
Every Single One of them.
And there were Textbook creeps there, types of dudes you think you'd see at porn conventions. Trench coats giant white grandpa sneakers and the whole 9 not pushing a day over 35. It was magnificent. But the chicks all dimes. NO JOKE, It was like bizarro world.
The hardest thing for me to get used to was the terminology and semantics.
Words like "qualifier" and "trigger" people who go to these programs use them to structure their life. A lot of them are in several different ones like Alcanon and AA or NA and they say "in program" Like an industry term, not in the program. but what we are taking about is;
S.L.A.A sex and love addicts anon.
I don't want to say too much here because I actually found a bit of solace there and respect the struggle.
But each meeting is an hour and half. One person who is on their 8th to 10th step speaks about their experience then for 15 mins then there is 30 mins of 10 random people opening up and telling their exp. or what they are going through.
I never said a word.
I actually felt like a fraud and I was jacks enlarged colon. I really felt like Ed Norton because my problems were no where near as severe as some of these poor souls.
If you choose or is you're picked you get 3 mins to speak. These people would start off with these outlandish tremendous horrible stories that you couldn't imagine on your worst day, hotel rooms, bathrooms, truck stop showers and subway situations. But... BUT by the time they were finished they were saying the exact thoughts I had in my head at one time or another, and had the same disposition about sex and love as I had and I felt like I belonged there a little more every time, we were all suffering together. Really unfortunate, I thought. It made me realize I had similar pain but no where near as tragic as some of these people. Really ugly sad stuff out there. Be grateful for what you have.
The church is suppose to be a judgement free area. I am not religious and get sick when I hear all that god bullshit. For us agnostics they say "higher power" though I think some of the foundations are religious based. I think it needs some updating but it was established over a half century ago when everyone was a bible banger. But the meetings have been held in any place that will allow them. If you have thought about going.
You should go.
Its a strange tranquility I have never experienced before. You're only doing good by going, you're supporting people who really need the help indirectly, just by being there and listening. And whether you know it or not you're taking a step toward good and giving out good makes you feel good, even if only for a short while.