a kid growin up Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 What is funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume. What is the difference between a baby and a onion? No one cries when you chop up the baby. What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon. What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board? Dart-boards don't bleed. What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar? About 500 calories. Why did the family take the dead baby along on the cookout? So they could light it and toast their marshmallows. Why was the dead baby kept in the kitchen drawer? The family used it to crack nuts. Why do people keep dead babies in the rec. room? They cut off one leg and use it as a ping pong paddle. Why do you put babies into blenders feet first? So you can see the expression on their faces. Why do they boil water when a baby is being born? So that if its born dead they can make soup. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How many babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil? It depends on how hard you squeeze them. How many babies fit in a blender? Depends on how powerful the blender is. How do you know when a baby is dead? It doesn't cry if you nail its feet to the ceiling. How do you find the live baby in a pile of dead ones? Jab 'em all with a pitchfork. How do you save a drowning baby? Harpoon it. How do you turn a baby into a dog? Pour gas over it and light a match. Woof. How do you turn a baby into a cat? Freeze it solid, then run it through a bandsaw. Meeow. How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos. How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off its head. or: A glass of soda water and 2 scoops of baby. What do you call a dead baby pinned to your wall? Art. What is red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave. What is blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of the pool? Baby with slashed floaties. What is red and yellow and floats at the top of the pool? Floaties with a slashed baby. What is red and hangs around trees? A baby hit by a snow blower. What is green and hangs around trees? Same baby 3 weeks later. What is pink and red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. What is pink and goes black with a "hiss."? A baby thrown into a furnace. What is brown and gurgles? A baby in a casserole. What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A peeled baby in a bag of salt. What is black and goes up and down? A baby in a toaster. What is red and hangs out of the back of a train? A miscarriage. What is red and goes round and round? A baby in a garbage disposal. What is red and swings back and forth? A baby on a meat hook. What is red, screams, and goes around in circles? A baby nailed to the floor. What is red and sits in the corner? A baby with razor blades. What is blue and sits in the corner? A baby in a baggie. What is black and sits in a corner? A baby with it's finger in a power socket. What is green and sits in the corner? Same baby two weeks later. What is black and charred? A baby chewing on an extension cord. What is black and white, runs around the room, and smokes? A baby with his hair on fire. What is blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung. What is cold, blue and doesn't move? A baby in your freezer. What is pink, flies and squeals? A baby fired from a catapult. What do you call the baby when it lands? Free pizza. What is red and has more brains than the baby you just shot? The wall behind it. What is white and glows pink? A dead baby with an electrode up its ass. What is more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off again. What is more fun than throwing a baby off the cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. What is more fun than swinging babies around on a clothesline? Stopping them with a shovel. What is more fun than shoveling dead babies off your porch? Doing it with a snow blower. What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler. What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck. What goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz? Twins in an acid bath. What is red and pink and can't turn round in a corridor? A baby with a javelin through its throat. What is little and can't fit through a door? A baby with a spear in its head. What is the definition of fun? Playing fetch with a pitbull and a baby. What has 4 legs and one arm? A doberman on a children's playground. What has 10 arms and blood all over it? A pitbull in front of a pile of dead babies. What is red and pink and hanging out of your dog's mouth? Your baby's leg. What present do you get for a dead baby? A dead puppy. What is grosser than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees. What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can? 100 dead babies in a trash can. What is worse than that? There's a live one at the bottom. What is worse than that? It eats its way out. What is worse than that? It comes back for seconds. Know what's gross? Running over a baby with a truck. Know whats worse? Skidding on it. Worse than that? Peeling it off the tires. What is the worst part about killing a baby? Getting blood on your clown suit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geezpot Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 FailZ. Newbs can't and will not win! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoblow Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 First. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BELTOLEUM Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 a kid growin up there is something wrong with you. shit wasn't even funny...sick and disturbing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geezpot Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Parklife, you can enter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a kid growin up Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 a kid growin up there is something wrong with you. shit wasn't even funny...sick and disturbing. Maybe so. It cracked me up though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geezpot Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Kid, stay out of this thread. You have been warned. If you come back in here I will summon the flying panthers to rape you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce_1nR Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 --- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RELAPSER Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 bruce, you can't handle teh 1337ness. 12oz CSS pwnage squad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freakeenyc Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 has any1 ever come close..im curious?....ill pay u all a 100 gs to GTFO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overtime Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 balls+chin=you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torquemada Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 i'm selling the prize on ebay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce_1nR Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 bruce, you can't handle teh 1337ness. 12oz CSS pwnage squad. WHAT!?!?! You played like, two maps and then left. Nigga, I'm talking we need to go on a 4 hour spree or some shit. You just mad cause I killed you twice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a kid growin up Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Kid, stay out of this thread. You have been warned. If you come back in here I will summon the flying panthers to rape you. :cry2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geezpot Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Flying panthers dispatched. They will be sodomizing you and your family within the next week and if you have any leather furniture they will most likely piss all over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Popularity Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackboatshoes Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 i got the cash stacked to the top. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DM! Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Flying panthers dispatched. They will be sodomizing you and your family within the next week and if you have any leather furniture they will most likely piss all over it. oucheez. thats pretty harsh, not as harsh as that cheezdoodle that did the same thing to my family.... :shook: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geezpot Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 You had a cheezdoodle sodomize you and your family? I must inform the flying panthers that they have competition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
booniesbomber Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 im winning just to let you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eatso Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 you where winning. sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RathofGod Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 I cam when my post sense was tingling did you just post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geezpot Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Nobody is winning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KILZ FILLZ Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 I AM winning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Porcelain Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 blah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KILZ FILLZ Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 round it off to a nice even 1350 before bed g'night ch 0 ps im still winning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Porcelain Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 not anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seffiks Posted February 28, 2008 Author Share Posted February 28, 2008 just checking on you kids.............................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eatso Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 ha I'm still winning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poesia [ ] T Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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