SanHoeSharks Posted August 17, 2007 Author Share Posted August 17, 2007 so as you are getting kicked out of the house you stop to sit on the computer and go on teh 0uns3?! I didnt get literally thrown out/kicked out the house cuzzo, she just decided that we shouldnt be together and that I should just leave. So while I was packing I wanted some feedback from people that dont know me personally and could just give me their thoughts from my short part of the story. I have gotten ALL positve comments and that goes to show that SOME people on TeH OuNzE could be really mature when it comes to grown people shit, sorry you couldnt fit in the category. Go GraFf N DancE homie. Alure, We had this kind of problem before. the very first time she used the baby against me. I wasn't allowed to see the baby for about a week, it was really devastating. I guess she realized that putting the baby in our problems wouldn't solve anything and that it would also hurt the baby along the way. I know some guys once they get into a divorce they forget about their kids, thats not my case though, I wanna be there for my kid and show her that just because Mommy and Daddy couldn't get along , we're both not bad people. Im also going to try to be supportive towards my wife, I know she had her reasons and I dont blame her. I know its rough for some single mothers to raise a kid, I know lots of them and they all go through some type of financial troubles. I don't want my little girl to go through that shit fuck that she still got a daddy trying to be there for her. Rush thanx bro fo rthe support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanHoeSharks Posted August 17, 2007 Author Share Posted August 17, 2007 if it's not worth us knowing your true identity, it's not worth it for me to read it Like I told dude and I say again, if people re too concerned with my "identity", just ask man. I just didn't wanna go under my regular SN due to some dumb little kids Im beefing with and I dont want them using that against me, they're known to post pictures of people up in this shit. Thanx for posting, and you've been here long enough, if you don't feel like asking me , ask a mod to tell you who I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanHoeSharks Posted August 17, 2007 Author Share Posted August 17, 2007 yo lifegoeson... I hope all the best... and thanks man... you kinda just saved my relationship... I got the sweetest girl in the world who I love so damn much... but one of my closest female friends kinda wants us to go further.. I've held it off a long time but its almost caving in man... reading this, I know that if I cave I'll ruin everything... thanks man.. I owe you one... my advice is... raise that girl to be the best damn kid she can be... don't let the divorce keep you from your kid... and remember... lifegoeson... sorry for the pun. Its good bro, i learned that if a breezy is throwing pussy at you knowing you are in a relationship, shes throwing that pussy around to everybody. The breezy I was fucking with , now is fucking someone else. I never believed in karma , but damn bro its a bitch. If you really love this girl man, dont hurt her feelings. You wouldnt want that shit to come back and bite you in the ass. And believe me , my little girl is in good hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unknown_urge Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 I know... and I'mma make this one last... I even gave up graff for her... the one thing that was good in my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wayne hits Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 clear heels. you fucked up. this guy has one of those male crushes on lifegoeson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 LGO, my first piece of advice is to stay away from pussy (no/homo). i know some will say i'm a fool, or that you should just go out and start fucking for fuck's sake. but seriously, you need to take some time away from what got you into this mess. for your own good man, head my warning. you fucked up, you know it, you're facing this shit. that is a start down the right path. now you need some time to get your shit back together. your dignity is fucked right now, i bet you're self confidence has a huge dent in it, and self loathing is just screaming shit inside your head. you need to take this time to re-group with yourself, and become a better person because of it. if you can better yourself as an independent male figure, you'll be a stronger asset to your daughter. it may also rebuild the confidence that your wife had in you, before you pissed all over it. even if it doesn't, you can still be there for your daughter. also, once you get your shit straight, and on a better path of life, you will be able to meet other women if your wife doesn't take you back. other women, who will want to be there for both you and your daughter. so you need to do some serious soul searching right now, to figure out how you can make this right for yourself. you're still young, give this plenty of time to heal on all ends. if you can't hold onto the relationship with your wife, you must now to try and develop some kind of friendship, for your daughter's sake. have you both filed for divorce, or is it just being yelled out randomly during heated arguements? if it is not official, and not even in the process right now --i recommend some serious ass kissing on your part. see if you can just do a separation, for a little while. tell her you want to try and prove to her that you are the right man for her. unless she's already grabbing dick, and swinging like tarzan, you might be able to save your relationship. just try and talk to her, and prove to her how you really feel about this. i've got a buddy who has twin boys with his wife. in the last year, she's ran off whoring behind his back, fucking his brother's ex-wife, and that's not even the real end of it. she also racked up 45,000 on credit card debt, then went and signed credit cards in his name, with his info, but with a PO Box for the notices. he didn't know this shit was out there, and she racked up another 30,000 in debt. so now he has to claim bankruptcy, raise his two boys with a fucking psychotic whore as a mother, and some how get his name back financially. he took her back though. i thought maybe that might give you a little hope. if not, well you're right --life goes on. just take this whole thing as a kick in the ass, and better yourself for your own sanity, and you daughter's future. good luck man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 I know its rough for some single mothers to raise a kid, I know lots of them and they all go through some type of financial troubles. I don't want my little girl to go through that shit fuck that she still got a daddy trying to be there for her. this is what i mean by step up your game. you're in your mid 20's. how's your resume? not making enough money? figure out what skills and sources you have, and try and do better than what you're doing now. i don't know you, so i'm not trying to judge you. but don't "try" to be there for your daughter, "be" there. your wife might be a single mother, but you're also a single father. you'll be raising this child as well. if you're going to divorce, get some kind of custody arrangement. you also might have to pay child support as well. it's a bitch man. i have a friend who had to fight for his daughter. spent his whole life savings on lawyer fees, to make sure he locked her in his life until she's 18. if you love your daughter as much as you say, i recommend you find some kind of legal advice ASAP, and make sure you don't lose her in the courts. ok. i'm going to shut up now. i got all high and turned into doctor phil tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanHoeSharks Posted August 17, 2007 Author Share Posted August 17, 2007 Earl broclo ESQ, thanx bro for taking your time to type those inspiring words. Thats what the fuck Im talking about, I knew there would be some mature comments on CH0 and some good advice. Everything you said is on point, that I dont even know where to start.Ok. We have not filed for divorce, this all happen last night bro, so it was just thrown in the air. So far I guess we're just separated, shes at home I moved out to my parents. Im going to give her some time and let her clear her head. Little ass kissing would help but Im pretty sure she aint feeling that shit right now. So Iaint even going to bother, but trying wont hurt. About meeting other women, my closest homeboy told me the same shit, if she doesnt want you back theres always someone willing to do the job. But thats not what Im really aiming at. Im willing to change for her and prove to her that Iam sorry and that Im good enough for her to take me back. I know its going to take a while but Im willing to give it a try. I get to see my daughter with no conditions, so with that, so far so good. Only time will tell whether we can work on our marriage or really move on with our lives. Its been a long day so Im going to hit the bed. Thanx people for the comments and advice. Ill keep ya posted. For those with the smart ass comments, I'm far from Emo, I'm far from being a soft ass nigga, but when you have a kid and you go through some shit like this, even the Toughest nigga would go soft. Have a good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
podrido Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 keep yo head up G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauler5150 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 Yeah man, your daughter will be alright, as long as her mother doesn't being a slew of random guys into her life. My parents were around your age when they split up (and I was probably your daughters age or so) and nothing bad happened to me so take that as you will. So unless your woman goes all whorey to get revenge on you, your kid should be ok. I watched a Dr Phil the other week and there was some slut mom on htere who had random guys come thru her daughters life, and now that duaghter was 14, hooking and dropping X. So yeah, I can see my exs daughters being the same due to her actions, but I hope it doesn't turn out that way for you mang. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishCarBombs Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 yo my man, im too drunk to do this now but tomorrow i'll give you a strsight answer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaolinmasta Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 poor lad P.S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the.crooked Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 I don't know how much use I can be, but I will give you what I got. I am twenty right now. About to turn twenty one. My parents divorced when I was four. They were remarried when I was in high-school and I am about to go into my senior year of college. I am not gonna talk about how to deal with your relationship with your wife. I am going to tell you about your kid. Your kid (like you said) most certainly knows the deal. If a dog and cat can sense your moods, then there is no way your child does not understand. In so much as that is the case. NEVER LIE. If your child asks you a question, answer them. Do not answer in a fashion that betrays your bitterness (and no matter how much you know it is your fault you can not deny the impulse to believe it should be otherwise). Like someone said earlier, do not speak badly about the other parent. You can most definitely speak your perspective and voice your own opinions on the subject, but do not overload them. They will form their own thoughts as a mediation between the two sides they see. They will have the most objective yet immediate perspective on the subject of anyone. Their only blindness is the love they have for both parents. Avoid court. Do not put your child in that position. Allow the mother custody if you do not have the financial situation to support your child. However, fight your ass off for visitation rights. Perhaps consider a joint custody. Even though you may not be there financially you can contribute your perspective on how the child should be raised, and that will be so important for them. To see two sides of a perspective from un-restricted view points (as tends to happen in situations of split parents) allows for a broader perspective of life. Your child will grow up quickly. Do not expect them to be respectful without question. They deserve the appreciation of life that they must immediately gain when dealing with their parents splitting. As your child gets older, you must try as hard as you can to not let money come between you and the other parent. The most frustrating thing for a child of a split household is to be the mediator. No matter how hard you may try, we are that. We are the only ones who see both sides. We are the only ones who can understand how both parents are right, in their own righteousness and their own bitterness. So please please please make it easier for the child. Keep money out of your relationship as much as possible. Work your ass off for that child. Do not fall behind in your child support because no matter how much it is of immediate concern and that your child may understand that it does not reflect how much you care for them, the state doesn't. Any good attorney general loves the notion of dead beat dads because it gives them something to do around election time. Watch your assets and bank accounts during such to make sure they don't freeze your accounts. Also, watch your financial situation with anyone you may become involved with. Make sure they understand that to get involved in this type of family is to make their funds no different. And more immediate to my life, don't be an asshole when it comes to college and high school. Recognize your child will not be around much their senior year. They will be out. And as much as you think it is to do with them not being around your house, it is to do with them growing up. Trust that they love you and that they will be around. Do not be an asshole with money when it comes to college. Put up as much as you can. There is no reason your child should go into debt fulfilling the wishes you put upon them for their education. Sorry for the rant, just a slight drunken introspection on the immediate things that come to mind when I think of my father in my life. But most of all remember this, if you are a good father, and the child has a good mother, you will always see your child and they will always love you. Do not let that change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaolinmasta Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 Alright I just read through some posts and I'm a little drunk, you mentioned you could visit your daughter whenever keep it nice when your around the mom she may want you back after a little while hopefully. I had this experience as a kid it only took til now (I'm 21) that I realized my dad was an asshole I always loved him and probably always will, I don't even speak to him now he changed his number I can't get in contact with him, the only advice I have for you is be around for your daughter look after her and her mum, keep your head up new things will happen and if you meet a new girl never ever ever put her over your daughter it just makes them feel like shit. The end Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crime stoppers Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 The best thing to do, is when your kid asks, lay it out staight. When my rents split whenever i asked about it, they didnt lie, that way i never felt that i had to choose between which parent i liked more. Anyway, i dont know how bad your situation really is because ive never been in your situation, but good luck, especially for your kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alure Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 the.crooked wrote some really good advice that i can completely relate too. i too grew up in a broken family home. but instead of living with my mother i lived with my dad. i was always the mediator and one thing i still hate till this day is how they talked shit about eachother. my mother still tries to tell me stories of how awful my dad was. but you know what, i dont care he's my dad. neither of my parents were perfect parents. i guess no parents are. it shouldnt even have to be said, but always make sure your daughter comes first. my dad remarried some stupid hoebag manipulate bitch that loved to make my life a living hell. now im a mother and things didnt work out between the father and i. but now im with a wonderful man who would and does anything for us. i think like a few others said that its really important not to have a bunch of sluts in your daughter's life either. that goes for both parents, not just the mother. my son's father is still a part of his life, but he does such a half ass job, mostly pushed by his parents its retarded. and i've always left the door open for him. but my son is smart and he already knows which dad in his life really cares about him and takes interest in him. children arent stupid, they know whats up. i was 4 or 5 when my parents split and i remember everything. it seems like you guys are doing the right thing, and avoiding confrontation. which your daughter is really lucky for. i have a feeling tho you know whats up, and you'll do what is in the best interest of your child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 crooked and alure are dead on here, as well as so many others above. LGO --if you two haven't filed for divorce yet, you still have hope. let the shit hit the fan right now, and then start to work on cleaning up the splatter. if you don't feel like you can really talk to her now, than give her some time. definitely let her know that you don't want to divorce just yet, and that you want to try and make this right for everyone. you both are young, and have plenty of time to fix what you've broken. so right now, play your cards like a samurai. give her space, but don't let her go, and try your hardest to get her to keep this on seperation terms for now. i don't know you, so i can't really offer up too much that isn't speculation from what i've read. it sounds like you're working, but your job isn't dropping the money you need to survive solo, and raise your kid. am i wrong? if so, ignore this. if i'm right, than seriously start looking for a better job. do some financial planning, look at what rents are like in your area, and find a job that will pay you enough to be sufficient. if your wife doesn't take you back, at least you'll have your two feet planted on the ground for you and your daughter. with that, you'll have no problem finding someone else to love in the future. trust me, when you reach 30 --being a single dad can be the most powerful pheromone. just take this time to better yourself man, step it up, become a man and not a boy. i've learned from many years of making mistakes, and i'm still learning. that's life though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VAJ Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 There are a zillion things I could say about how I experienced super crappy broken home status, and my daddy is and always will be my best friend, and cheating is bad and yada yada yada. But I think the main point I'd like to make is that NO relationship could truly make it once someon has cheated. Lesson to be learned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlando Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 hope the best for you man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MitchThe$nitch Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 i pretty much stopped the cheatind skeezing stuff a while back. it was fun from ages 16-25. i'm not married- but engaged to be. good luck dude. hanlde yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the.crooked Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 I hope those of us who have said things coming from broken homes don't make it seem an impossible situation for you and your child and your seemingly soon to be ex wife. I tend to think that eventually the shit evens itself out between parents (hopefully) and then there is some nice medium reached between you two and your child. Basically, I just hope it goes well. For your daughter's sake more than anyone else. But good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pissdrunkwhat?! Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 i can say i know whats up ive been there and im still here in some ways and in others im where i want to be. but at the end of the day everything thats happened weighs VERY heavily on my shoulders, i am my worst critic, i am the one that keeps me up at night when shes smiling and sleeping on my chest. you know because youve said it that you have no one to blame but yourself, but you have to realize youre going to get it the hardest from yourself. your wifey will either forgive you or not but you wont ever forget that shit. dont let it eat you up like it wants to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fun haver Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 this tread really shows how mature people are, why cant all of ch0 be like this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceLeroy Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 you fucked up bad... i think its funny how people get married and continue to fuck random people, why get married in the first place? im a man and i have never cheated on a girlfriend.. sure the temptaions been there but when you get into shit like this it only blows up in your face. but hey thats just me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alure Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 you fucked up bad... i think its funny how people get married and continue to fuck random people, why get married in the first place? im a man and i have never cheated on a girlfriend.. sure the temptaions been there but when you get into shit like this it only blows up in your face. but hey thats just me. agreed. if my man ever cheated on me i think i would die. and i would never want to make him feel that way either. its a shame. but i think everyone can agree, dude learned his lessoned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanHoeSharks Posted August 17, 2007 Author Share Posted August 17, 2007 you fucked up bad... i think its funny how people get married and continue to fuck random people, why get married in the first place? im a man and i have never cheated on a girlfriend.. sure the temptaions been there but when you get into shit like this it only blows up in your face. but hey thats just me. It wasn't a random person, as i stated on my first post, it was an ex girlfriend. That still doesn't justify my actions I know I fucked up and now i'm suffering the consequences. Tell me something I don't know. For the rest thanx for the advice. i know a lot of people have gone through some type of shit like this, either in their personal relationships or with their own parents/family. Today when I picked my little girl there was only a few words exchanged, nothing bad though. I wanted to do more talking but i rather do that once we are in more cool/chill terms. I'm just going to give her more time to get her thoughts straight since I know she don't want to hear no bullshit right now. As long as I can continue seeing my little girl right now, I'm good. Alure, I know is a shame and I agree with you. And sure enough I did learned my lesson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest R@ndomH3ro Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 Funny, cause I am going through the same situation. (no people this is not me^^) My girl just up and left no explanation. But your are right, life does go on. I got a promotion at work, I am going to be moving overseas, and I am talking to this sweet latina girl. Sneak, keepin it real.........real metal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_R_O_N Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 i would be a dick and say BOOM HEADSHOT!!!! but this is serious buisness. Keep you're head up, and be ready to explain this to the little one when she is older, also make sure your old lady dosnt fuck your name up, and make your daughter believe you are a bad guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VAJ Posted August 18, 2007 Share Posted August 18, 2007 Sneak I'm glad you clarified it wasn't you. You were the first person I thought of. Except he said he rarely ever posts. And it just happened to him like 2 nights ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest R@ndomH3ro Posted August 18, 2007 Share Posted August 18, 2007 Nope, I would never cheat. Especially with an ex..eww, my ex's are gross Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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