[mania] Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 ’Impaler’ pledges to impale Bush Tuesday, March 13, 2007 The American Secret Service have launched an investigation into one of the candidates for the presidency in 2008 – after he pledged that as President, one of his first acts would be to impale President George W. Bush. The candidate in question is Jonathon ’The Impaler’ Sharkey, and he is running as the only self-described satanic vampire candidate who has so far entered the 2008 race. Sharkey’s pledge to impale President Bush, he makes clear, will only come into effect if he is actually elected to office. But that has still triggered action by the Secret Service, who say they have a duty to investigate any threats against the president. Sharkey, 42, says that agents from the service visited him at home with his 19-year-old wife, Spree, to investigate his impaling pledge. Sharkey told The Columbia Chronicle about the visit: ’They were telling me, when they were interrogating me, that their job was to protect Bush even after he’s out of office. I’m looking at them like, “Oh, you’re going to defy me when I become president?”’ Sharkey previously ran for President in 2004, and has run for Congress several time, occasionally as a Republican. Darrin Blackford, a spokesman for the Secret Service, disagreed that the investigation was an over-reaction: ’Unfortunately, in our line of work, we can’t take that chance.’ But a legal expert is unsure if a case could be made against The Impaler. ’Under the First Amendment, what it boils down to here is whether or not he’s a vampire who wants to impale the president,’ law professor Neil Richards of Washington University in St. Louis told the Chronicle. ’I guess the question is, if he’s a vampire, why is he the one staking people? Shouldn’t he want to bite the president and feed on him?’ added Richards, describing these questions as ’perhaps further evidence that this is not a true threat.’ Sharkey, meanwhile, seems unconcerned about the investigation. If anything, he feels that the Secret Service may not be taking him seriously enough. ’They never even asked to see my impaling stick,’ he complained. An Intervew With the Impaler himself: http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2006/01/intervyew_with.asp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 oh fuck yea mang!!!!! DUDE I AM VOTING EVEN IF I DOTN LIVE THERE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChaR'04 Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 crazy fool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[mania] Posted March 17, 2007 Author Share Posted March 17, 2007 "they never even asked to see my impaling stick" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrineShrimpr Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 That is awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tails0nE Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 lol wow this dudes fo real too.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayabusa Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 only in America Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wayne hits Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 word up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phax Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 ahahahahaha 42 with a 19 year old wife that's how imma be rollin even if i have to be some satanist creep weirdo old man ahahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Phil Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 I bet you his wifey is probably smashable. albiet really confused and a bit of a weirdo, I'm guessing she's reasonably hot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[mania] Posted March 18, 2007 Author Share Posted March 18, 2007 his girlfriend got fired from her job because she was a pagan: http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=116410 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phax Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 ha! not a suitable rolemodel? the bitch is gonna be first lady! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUR X3 Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 How was she driving busses for 5 years if she's only 19? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[mania] Posted March 18, 2007 Author Share Posted March 18, 2007 ha! not a suitable rolemodel? the bitch is gonna be first lady! :lol: word to that. johnny the impaler's got my vote for sure. i'll fucking write him in on the ballot or some shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauler5150 Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 ahahahahaha 42 with a 19 year old wife that's how imma be rollin even if i have to be some satanist creep weirdo old man ahahahaha For sure, that is the part of the article I looked at and laughed.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Phil Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 can someone please enlighten me as to the difference between 'vampire' and 'vampyre' wtf? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tango 24 Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 shes been driving for the company for 5 years and shes 19? someting dont add up right Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 Nigga got my vote. Even a nutball that thinks he's a vampire can probably do a much better job at running this country than Bush, or anybody in the Republican party for that matter. Plus he vows to impale Bush!!!:lol: Now THAT'S a vote worth casting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[mania] Posted March 18, 2007 Author Share Posted March 18, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_gooch Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 this makes me want to listen to: and i never really even liked dio. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
De sign Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 If i was american. id vote for him. over those other gronks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrineShrimpr Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Not to be a dork or anything, but this upcoming election will probably be the most important of all our lives. This guy is funny and all, but please don't throw away your vote. There I said it, let the clowning of me commence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drue_Down Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 The Dark Prince is here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RumPuncher Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 haha.... I've got an 'impaling stick' too..... IN MY PANTS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Not to be a dork or anything, but this upcoming election will probably be the most important of all our lives. This guy is funny and all, but please don't throw away your vote. There I said it, let the clowning of me commence. way to be right! NERD! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asdf_va! Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Not to be a dork or anything, but this upcoming election will probably be the most important of all our lives. This guy is funny and all, but please don't throw away your vote. There I said it, let the clowning of me commence. ^^so tell me this "smart guy..." Who ELSE, other than "THE IMPALER," is going to impale G.W.Bush when they get elected. HMMM? I rest my case. BAM! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EGG Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
correct Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 how can you be president if you are deathly allergic to sunlight? crazies....tha fuck you gonna do with them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrineShrimpr Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 ^^so tell me this "smart guy..." Who ELSE, other than "THE IMPALER," is going to impale G.W.Bush when they get elected. HMMM? I rest my case. BAM! You got me there. I've got nothing. Alright then the yay's have it, the impaler gets my vote! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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