serum Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 austrian parade of devils. anyone hear of this before? news to me. pretty dope. link Krampus is one of those quirky survivals of a pagan tradition that preceded Christianity. Much like Santa himself. Or Jesus. Oops, did I say Jesus? Never mind. Santa Claus is a Christianization of a handful of traditional winter solstice figures, who morphed into St. Nicholas after the Catholics swarmed into Austria. Santa was most heavily influenced by the Norse Thor, who had a long white beard and cheerfully rode a flying chariot. The enemy of good in Norse mythology was Loki, a figure usually depicted as falling somewhere in the range between Satan himself and Carrot Top. Loki was a devil-trickster figure with big horns. (Of course, most Norse gods were wearing horns on their hats if they didn't have them growing out of their heads.) While the noble Thor was a good candidate for transformation into a Christian saint, Loki was not so much. But old gods never die, they just fade away. The lingering afterimage of Loki became part of the template for Krampus. The tradition is primarily an Austrian thing, although it spread erratically around Europe. There are two takes on Krampus, one being a secular humanist approach and the other being a magic tradition angle. If you put any two Austrians in a room, they'll soon get into an fistfight about which interpretation is correct. In the secular humanist approach, Krampus and the observation of Krampus traditions are pretty much just the antithesis of Santa Claus. On Dec. 5, the eve of the feast day of St. Nick, Austrians celebrate Krampus by running across the city in grotesque masks and generally scaring children. This is an extension of the good-cop, bad-cop theory. St. Nick makes his rounds on Dec. 6 rewarding all the good little children, a task which is made easy since Krampus has been out the night before, punishing pretty much the same children with a good switching. In other variations on the theme (and there a lot of variations considering what a relatively small geographical area we're talking about here), Krampus is one of Santa's minions, who follows along obediently passing out presents or switches depending on the moral turpitude of the child in question. Presumably, this would make the pointy-eared Krampus kind of the template for Santa's elves in later Rankin-Bass productions, but the jury is still out among the scholarly community on this subject. Then, all the adults go out and gets drunk, and much hilarity ensues. The other interpretation of Krampus is more mystical. Under this theory, people dress up in the hideous masks of Krampus in order to scare off evil spirits. If so, this is in keeping with a pretty universal traditional use of masks in religious ritual; the concept of a fearsome visage that wards off cowardly evil spirits has a lot of pedigree, and not just in the snowy mountains of Germanic Europe where people get a little unbalanced in the winter (remember Krystallnacht?). In Hindu mythology, Black Makhala fills the Krampus role, while the Japanese wore masks that were supposed to be lions, but frankly look more like Benji. The Krampus masks benefit from being particularly grotesque, or to be more accurate, stupid-looking. Let's just say Hindus have a better aesthetic sense than Austrians. Krampus masks suffer from the silliness of the whole Christian devil image, but occasionally he's presented as passably scary looking. Especially if you're eight years old. Oh, did I forget to mention the fucking? One of the relative benefits of paganism over Christianity is that paganism usually has holidays devoted to wild orgiastic excess. The Celts indulged in this behavior around Easter, which led to the adoption of the Easter bunny as mascot for the Christian version. Austrians liked to keep warm during those cold winter months, if you catch my drift. Once the Christians criminalized orgiastic excess, the Krampus-fertility nexus evolved into more of a taboo-stalker kind of scenario, in which the devilish figure, traditionally depicted with a swollen foot-long red tongue, malevolently thrusts himself on nubile women who are eternally "protesting" his advances. But not protesting too much. After all, he had a foot-long red tongue. A cottage industry in Austria from Victorian times through the present has been the production of Krampus postcards to commemorate the holiday season. These tend to feature Krampus and his prodigious tongue assailing various Betti Page-type pinup girls (or even pure-hearted Austrian housefraus) with his lecherous advances. During World War II, Krampus shamefully pandered to the Nazis in such postcards, doing a series of propaganda appearances in which he trounced and embarrassed British and French citizens and soldiers. After WWII, it was rumored that Krampus fled to Brazil and took part in an evil cloning scheme, but our team of investigators has failed to confirm those reports. link Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smart Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 'Zwarte Pete' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
how how are are you you Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 christmas..the new halloween Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SIKISM Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 This reminds me of the time when I was teenager tripping on acid and I realized that Santa was Satan with one letter jumbled and I thought about how evil "Christmas" is with all this greed and capitolism etc and how much "Santas" Christmas takes away from what the holliday was origionally intended to be about. Yeah... I had it all figured out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
After School Special Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 I'm really fucking hungry right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soupBDC Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 Sounds like fun. All the grown ups getting into devil costumes and scaring the shit out of children, then swapping stories at the local dive bar of how everyong psychologically traumatized children in their area, followed by an orgy of sorts with the baristas. Then the next day you do it all over again, except the scared-shitless children are given gifts for being good, and while the children are trying to grasp what the fuck is wrong with adults, everyones back at the bar gettin drunk, sharing even more stories followed by more secksing the baristas for warmth. Im down. Whos with me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuckyouandurbabymomma Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 DOOD DO U KNO CHRISTMAS TREES ACTUALLY HAVE MASON'S SCRIBBED INTO THEM SECERTLY ON THE BARK OF EVERY SINGLE ON ON THE PLANET? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stunt double Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 on christmas eve this year im gonna get dressed up as krampus, get drunk and go fuck shit up. i will be krampus, santa's badass sidekick. on a side note, he wouldn't be as cool without the name krampus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaolinmasta Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 austrian parade of devils. anyone hear of this before? news to me. pretty dope. He could give a mean fingering Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 So this is why aussies are so god damn crazy...they are psycholigically fucked by shit like this...I wish I was a kid in austrailia... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smart Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 Austria, not Australia... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 Well then I guess Austrailia still doesnt have an excuse then...my bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 looks fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
^ . ^ Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 very interesting, especially the wild orgy fests. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaolinmasta Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 very interesting, especially the wild orgy fests.co-sign I could bang you and sherock at the same time yay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AronOne Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AronOne Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 all pics scanned from this book Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
...HSAMSnoytiC Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 those are dope but need more rape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AronOne Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 hahahaahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YouMad.GIF Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Actually this is pretty awesome because I'm half pureblood Austrian, and my grandma had stuff like this. Basically the Austria/czek and eastern Europe have retained a lot of each others traits. Pagan concepts like opposite evil gods for each good one translated into devil alternatives for other saints. Really, every saint has it's own devil, some for losing your stuff, some for killing livestock, etc etc etc basically anything good that one saint can do for you, there is an alternate devil that will do bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KILZ FILLZ Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 i think i broke my finger today at work :-/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 sweet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HUSK Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 satan is the new scientology 5th level of knowledge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 The parades look fucking bad ass. My friend cued me up to this shit a few years back. When you see people being thrown around, they ain't joking. It's kind of like a running with the bulls state of mind. Maybe not as violent, but violence is involved. There's other videos on youtube. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I'm kind of shocked R@ndom isn't more into this. This would be like a metal head homecoming parade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YouMad.GIF Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Germany is not Austria but he should cross the border Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AronOne Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Happy Holidays everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeithappennn Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 I may have finally found my calling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andrewreynoldsx Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 why haven't i heard of this before? krampus slays Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thealmighty... Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 i had to explain to my roommate who and what krampus was. She thought I made it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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