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ElectricitySucks

so im about to fuck this girl..

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has this ever happened to anyone?

 

like im in the fucking middle of about to do my thingie thing thing thang wang, but in the back of my head im like "FUCK I REALLY NEED TO LET A BIG ONE OUT." this continues for several minutes, building up the gas itself inside my body. more mintues go by and i realize that im focusing more on the fart itself i might let out rather then my performance im about to get involved in. and this just wasnt those normal "silent but deadly" things, this was a fuil out full blown 6 pieces of pizza 2 hours earlier + 12 pack type fart. you know what i mean.

 

so were doing our thing, shes saying things and im COMPLETELY ignoring her, im strictly concentrating on this fart that might come out any second.

 

so finally, im just like FUCK THIS. i bolt outside, almost falling, and knocking over various assortments and BAMMM!!! out comes this 5 second long fart. i will never be able to tell anyone how revelied i felt. then i think i casually walked back into the room and got back to business.

 

then a few minutes later, i REALLY had to pee. that shit sucks even more, but at that time i just stopped, waitied a few mintues, pissed, then got back to business. maybe god was trying to tell me something. i dont know. but im ok now and i hav e work in the morning. good god.

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wow..ive been at my girls house and really had to shit.it sucks when her parents are there cause you try to make it a quiet shit..but of course its always louder than the normal shit that you dont try to disguise...

 

well im glad you achieved your task though..

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Originally posted by Mr. ABC@Jul 19 2005, 02:43 AM

i've farted during sex. i'm talking full 'gather the cavalry' trumpet style

 

:haha: I HAD A SIMILAR SITUATION..I HAD 2 TAKE A SHIT BUT I COULDNT CUZ SHE HAD SNUK ME IN HER CRIB SO I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO HOLD IT IN N THEN SHE GITS ON TOP N STARTS GRINDIN N ALL OF A SUDDEN I START GITTIN GASY N SHIT N A COUPLE MIUTES LATER I LET IT RIP. IFARTED FOR ABOUT A GOOD 2 MINUTES..LOL THAT SHIT WAS HILLARIOUS :haha:

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: WHO GIVES A PHUCK..IF U GOTTA FART THEN FART..DONT BE ACTIN LIKE UR SHIT DONT STANK

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lol so good.

 

i know what you mean makeithappen. everytime i have to take a shit at my gf's house, it's like abnormally louder and in every way bigger than any other normal shit i take. i had to take a shit so bad one time, and i knew it was going to be bad, i left her house and drove to a nearby burger king to take the shit. it was a good call on my part, b/c that was disgusting

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have any of yall tried beano? or is that for sissies? i never have...does it work?

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beano? no idea what that is.

 

 

hands up anyone who's been queefed in the face while going down on a woman....

 

 

 

(raises hand)

 

 

 

....shit was hilarious

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its seems everytime im hooking up with a girl ive had a few too many and i cant stop burping and my stomache rumbl;es really loudly

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Guest imported_El Mamerro
Originally posted by Mr. ABC@Jul 19 2005, 02:38 AM

hands up anyone who's been queefed in the face while going down on a woman....

 

 

 

(raises hand)

 

 

 

....shit was hilarious

 

 

iknow.jpg

 

 

My first time going down on a girl I got queefed HARD. I had no idea queefs could get so loud and sloppy, and I actually thought she had shat on my chin. I was thiiiiiiiiiiis close to punching her in the groin, I was fucking furious. Then I wiped, noticed it was clear, and that her eyes were rolling in the back of the head, and I quickly understood and resumed business. Close call.

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i kind of wish you did punch her, because that would answer one of my life's great questions since a couple hours ago: what happens when you punch a girl in the crotch while she's having an orgasm

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

I know. The pangs of regret are unbearable.

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Guest imported_b0b

It wasn't during sex, but I once farted so loud I woke up my lady's parents.

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Guest imported_Europe

Guys, just fart away, nothing to be ashamed of... Remember girls can fart from both the pussy and the butt....

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Haven't had to fart....I get into the zone and distractions disappear..

 

Nothing wrong with a queef...if you don't like it than stop blowing air into it

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Ive farted a few times while having sex,its embarrassing but hey,it happens

 

My hand is raised...

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Originally posted by Mr. ABC@Jul 19 2005, 03:38 AM

beano? no idea what that is.

 

 

hands up anyone who's been queefed in the face while going down on a woman....

 

 

 

(raises hand)

 

 

 

....shit was hilarious

 

 

if sh's wearing a dress when said queef happens=wind tunnel.

 

p.s.- afriend told me about doing this....i tried it, it rocks. after sexual encounter, press on females stomache and make her queef. rock & roll. the entertainemtn never ends.

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god, fuck pussy farts. and im sure a good amount of the time pressing on the stomach works. i hate that shit.

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i was fucking this one girl from work, and let one rip realy bad..she got all offended and shit and stoped , she started nagging me, so i let out another one, this time even louder and more intense, she looked at me, smiled , and started blowing me, i guess she had a thing for farts, or for people who do thing she tells them not too

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Originally posted by ElectricitySucks@Jul 18 2005, 10:37 PM

 

so finally, im just like FUCK THIS. i bolt outside, almost falling, and knocking over various assortments and BAMMM!!! out comes this 5 second long fart. i will never be able to tell anyone how revelied i felt. then i think i casually walked back into the room and got back to business.

 

 

 

did you even say anything? or was the girl like, what the fuck are you doing, or she just thought nothing of this.

 

funny shit.

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