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Showing content with the highest reputation on 08/05/2022 in all sections

  1. I thought my friday couldn't get any better, then i come on the oontz and see DAO is still alive and posting, and he blessed us with some sik graff'n'loosejeans
    5 points
  2. we also call these “Gems”. Or “free jewelry.” Lots of it lol. @One Man Banned @mr.yuck I’ve gone on 3 separate estimates recently with older ladies who just lost their husband. Shit is MAAAD awkward. They’re trying to hold it together talking about the job then say something about how their husband did this or that and bam. Fuckin water works. I’ve fucked off on all three of those quotes.
    4 points
  3. ^ from some foamer on the webz
    3 points
  4. BriefAppropriateEasteuropeanshepherd-mobile.mp4
    3 points
  5. 3 points
  6. low-key new goal: to turn our yard into a "certified monarch waystation". (just a cool yard i saw downtown on bike ride)
    3 points
  7. Turned $40 into $700 on ebay. Keep it classy, San Diego
    3 points
  8. This thread delivers. @DRUNKEN ASSHOLE ONER stop by more often G
    3 points
  9. Being hungover and not at work where I should be. Feels great. Super responsible.
    3 points
  10. Haha. I had a homie that got this belt buckle from like hot topic or some shit. The buckle part was a picture frame. He took a picture of his dick and put it in there. Inevitably girls would ask a question about his belt buckle and he would let them in for a closer look. That shit was non stop lulz.
    3 points
  11. I usually just put my limp dick over my wrist and ask girls to tell me what time it is
    3 points
  12. Took my dawg swimming in a shallow river today and dude loved it. I also re-learned that swimming stimulates a dog to poo.
    3 points
  13. Apple swisher are now just called “green”. Societal collapse confirmed.
    2 points
  14. purely conceptual, but still pretty cool.. https://www.autoevolution.com/news/ford-bronco-van-is-bad-with-a-capital-b-wants-to-render-suvs-useless-195195.html
    2 points
  15. I’m juiced to see he has developed his very own Sik K! Celebrate!
    2 points
  16. I'm sure that's what it is. But there's so many other ways you could play that scenario. "My wife started this and despite her best efforts, we just don't have time to finish it ourselves before we move in," is way better than trashing her to a complete stranger.
    2 points
  17. Not quite. I stopped giving a fuck later on, but when it happened I was like hey, just like....
    2 points
  18. On the one hand, true. On the other, he's the man, but his wife's the one getting busy with the tools, so he might be feeling a little lesser than. By showing that she couldn't do it or do it right, he might feel like he redeems some of his manhood in front of you, Mr. Man. Still aint right tho.
    2 points
  19. Hahaha this also reminds me of more repressed memories from that nightmare landscaping job I described in another thread. The client was this young rich eye doctor, and his wife came out and was like “my husband bought you guys a special 6 pack, you want them now?” It was hot as fuck and 10am, so we all declined since we never drank until after work. Come check out time, no beers come around. We came back numerous times for jobs and they never offered the special beers. We all wondered what the doctor considered special beer, probably some Land Shark.
    2 points
  20. @NightmareOnElmStreet@mr.yuckhad to have a general contractor do some simple work I couldn't get done. Hot as fuck, dude was dripping sweat, so I offer him some water or a beer and before 11am you know he went for that beer without hesitation. I can't laugh much because I had one too.
    2 points
  21. Thanks for sharing DAO, a proud and wholesome moment for the oontz.
    1 point
  22. This is a pretty good Cappadona song.
    1 point
  23. For what it’s worth here are a couple more - Never ask for a phone number, tell them to give it to you. “You seem fun, you should give me your number” or “you should give me your number and we can do something fun”.. if they turn you down it’s like they are saying you’re wrong and they aren’t fun. never never pull up in front of a girls house and drop them off from the car. Always park and walk them to their door. Much much higher chance of getting a “you wanna come in for a glass of wine?” comedy shows are great for a first date. There is a two drink minimum so they get sauced up, there is no pressure on you to keep the convo going because you are pressured NOT to talk, they’ll have fun and laugh then associate that fun and laughter with you/when thinking of you, then wrap up the night by going to get drinks somewhere else and you can keep the convo going by talking about the comics you just saw and the jokes you heard it gets formulaic and depressing after a while. But they’re the tools to get you to the one you really want. My wife is out of my league by far
    1 point
  24. Naw, but @mr.yuckstared directly into his homies eyes when he almost dipped his banana in ketchup.
    1 point
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