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Uncomfortable Situations

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by POIESIS, Nov 21, 2005.


    POIESIS Member

    Joined: Aug 10, 2004 Messages: 879 Likes Received: 0
    i was inspired by the wacking at work thread..
    lets hear 'em..
    could be anything..sex related..near death.....public speaking..


    the old man caught me slappin' petey when i was a teenager.
    he said sorry about 15 times super fast as he shut the door.
    later we had to sit at the dinner table and have my mom ask
    me how my day went and what i did, all while my old man sat
    directly across the table from me. good times.
    another time i was insanely hungover from a long night of mixing
    draft beer and whiskey. on teh bus home i had this incredible build
    up of gas which started to concern me since i felt as if i would
    explode. this made me feel nauseous as well. so i decided to hold it in
    which then resulted in me feeling worse. it also resulted in me
    turning white/greenish and sweating like crazy. the greatest part of this was
    i was sitting directly across from 6 hot as hell girls who i felt were staring
    at me the whole time. finally it got so bad that i
    got off at the next stop and proceeded to frantically
    find a spot to explode shit everywhere. i ended up at the side
    of somebodies house in broad daylight. i then walked the rest
    of the way home without my shirt feeling quite fantastic.
  2. dumy

    dumy Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 5,056 Likes Received: 0
    dude, gross..
  3. FunTimePartyTeam

    FunTimePartyTeam Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 19, 2005 Messages: 2,029 Likes Received: 0
    Yea, gross, banned.

    just kidding...
  4. casekonly

    casekonly Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 6, 2002 Messages: 8,264 Likes Received: 5
    got drunk and puked
    all over several strangers.
    never felt guilty for it

    until now. thanks.
  5. geezpot

    geezpot Elite Member

    Joined: Apr 20, 2003 Messages: 3,904 Likes Received: 158
    I hosted a party once at my place without realizing there was a bench warrant out for me. The cops showed up which I thought was for the music and big clouds of weed smoke but it was to haul my ass away from my own party.

    I was playing poker with my in-laws and went all in by saying "I'm balls deep on this hand". My father in-law asked what balls deep was?
    I quickly told him its a long pass in football, like a hail mary-going for it all.

    I froze up in a theatre production once for over 10 minutes just staring at the lights. The rest of the cast tried improving me into talking but I was tranced out. I was only in the damn play to sleep with the director, but after this incident it didn't pan out. All that wasted rehearsal time.

    I've woke up with girls that put me in uncomfortable conversations considering I don't have a clue how they got there.

    I once had a clogged up toilet after taking a dump at an ex-girlfriends parents house with no plunger around too. It was the pre dinner dump so we had to sit around a dinner table knowing that my log entry needed some assisting to get it all down. Talk about trying to small talk a conversation about anything that isn't going to segway into what just happened.

    I got wasted camping one weekend (10 years ago) and picked up shit that I thought was a rock, it was in the middle of the wilderness so I didn't think there would be a turd around. All weekend I got the shit jokes which resulted in no play. Funny enough I ran into a buddy last weekend that I hadn't seen in close to 10 years and he remembered me picking up shit. What a memory, oh well I did his sister.
  6. shaolinmasta

    shaolinmasta Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 26, 2003 Messages: 7,884 Likes Received: 157
    this one is hilarious.
  7. GucciCondom

    GucciCondom Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 29, 2003 Messages: 5,558 Likes Received: 168
    One time I was in 4th or 5th grade and I just got home from school. I had to shit really bad and I get home to realize my mom isn't there yet. So I'm sitting outfront for a good 10 minutes when I just can't take it anymore. I ran up the street to this store and went beside it. I just exploded shit all over this wall and wiped with these huge ass leaves that were on a tree.

    Sometimes I get really uncomfortable because I sweat really bad, even with this special deoderant from the doctor. Usually it works if I use it before I goto bed, but sometimes I get lazy and slap it on when I get dressed. Then my armpits will get these hugeee ass wet spots after like an hour. I have no idea why, I guess hormones. It happens even when its 30 degrees out.

    I get really uncomfortable talking to people that I don't feel like talking to, especially when I'm high. For example a teacher or a friends mom will keep asking me questions and I'll just not know what to say so I just go "yeah yeah uh huh" and give a little chuckle or something.
  8. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

    geezpot has some hilarious ones :lol:
  9. Gigantic Jug

    Gigantic Jug Member

    Joined: Jul 24, 2004 Messages: 988 Likes Received: 0
    When i was a wee child and had a baby sitter.. My mexican baby sitter would always make me tight ass mexican food. I guess one of the dishes she made me didnt agree and i shat everywhere and my baby sitter was in the other room and i had smeared it all of the walls and all ove rmy body, and my baby sitter came in and it reeked like a mother fuck.. She threw up and she called my mom and my mom came home and i had it on my face... my mom wasnt fucking with me when she told me i had eaten some of my own shit...

    POIESIS Member

    Joined: Aug 10, 2004 Messages: 879 Likes Received: 0
    one word:

  11. Yellow Feets

    Yellow Feets Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 10, 2004 Messages: 1,958 Likes Received: 0
    Hmmm.. I'm not sure if I told this story yet but:

    3rd Grade. This marked the beginning of life in Massachusetts for me. I had moved here from Maine and before that, from California. So yeah, a huge environmental change. One of the 1st big and obvious differences was, of course, snow. The 2nd: Puerto Ricans. Back in California (and Maine, that piece of shit state..) there weren't any Puerto Ricans. Just Mexicans and Native Americans. So yeah, in California I got used to calling them "Spanish" people after a while and they didn't seem to mind at all. My best friend at the time was Mexican/Native American. And then suddenly I moved to Maine and then to Massachusetts. I remembered one day playing at the park across the street from my apartment. So I go there with the rest of my siblings and we started playing TAG with the other children. So yeah, everyone is having fun and we all greet each other and what not. One kid asked me "What are you?" and I just tole him "Black and Asian. What are you?" And he goes "Puerto Rican". And I was like "What's that? Spanish right?" and he says "No". So yeah, this goes on for a while. I tried to convince him he was just "Spanish" people. And he just laughed and shit. And then he had a Puerto Rican flag on his shirt. So I say "What's that on your shit?" And he goes "it's the Puerto Rican flag". And I was still like "What the fuck is Puerto Rican?" in my headbut I didn't say anything. So yeah, we continued to play tag until an argument broke out between my little brother + my neighbor against the little Puerto Rican kids. So yeah, the argument soon turned physical and I got involved along with a shopping cart.

    I whooped ass.
  12. Yellow Feets

    Yellow Feets Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 10, 2004 Messages: 1,958 Likes Received: 0
    Also, I kicked a girl in her crotch while I was in 3rd grade. My reason:

    Me: "It's not my fault. The Spanish people were bothering me".
    Lady Principal: *shocked face* Don't call them that!

    ^I was retardly quiet back then and I didn't like to be bothered. I had a sense of humor and was nice as hell but I guess Puerto Ricans loved picking on kids like me. So I proceeded to kick her in the crotch. Rightfully so. No regrets.


    Ha! I sound like a damn racist. I wasn't/am not. I had Puerto Rican friends and still do. I saw the girl I kicked in the crotch like 3 years ago. Saw her in the hallways of my highschool. Heh...
  13. 8onus

    8onus Banned

    Joined: Apr 18, 2004 Messages: 1,052 Likes Received: 1
    this thread is awsome

    Gigantic jug: the visual i get from that story is just faaaaaaantastic!

    POIESIS Member

    Joined: Aug 10, 2004 Messages: 879 Likes Received: 0
    gigantic jug is a spectacular user name as well.
  15. Thought Wrong

    Thought Wrong Member

    Joined: Oct 15, 2004 Messages: 654 Likes Received: 0
    Good thing you had ass leaves.

    Time for my shit story.

    In about third or second grade I had to shit really bad and my teacher wouldnt let me go. I had always been told to do what the teacher said or else Id get it once I got home. So Im wanting to shit my teacher says no you cant go. I start crying that I REALLY need to go. She gives me a pass and on my way to the bathroom (running) I start to shit myself just flat out go and I start crying my ass off. I go into the restroom try to sort my self out with a lil tp. Go to the nurses office and tell them what happened and so I sit and wait. One of my class chums comes in and sits next to me and says "whats that smell?" I sniff the air and was like I dunno. Dude says "smell like cat poop" I shrug my shoulders trying to play it off and just sat there.

    (couldnt find a good ending)