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Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by duh-rye-won, Jan 24, 2005.

  1. duh-rye-won

    duh-rye-won Member

    Joined: Aug 8, 2001 Messages: 580 Likes Received: 2
    i just endured one of the most painful, self inflicted experiences of my entire life. worse than skateboarding injuries. worse than getting tattooed. i'd venture to say this was right up there with childbirth.

    i will never make this mistake again. i don't know how i could've let this happen...

    i know better...

    it all started last night. i've been trying to watch my glutinous eating habits while stoned, and have been trying to keep healthy alternative snacks around the house. fruit, lollipops, (not healthy, but at least you can't gobble em), light popcorn and one of my personal faves...

    sunflower seeds.

    you know, just put a bunch of em in the side of your mouth, chewing tobacco style, and crack em and spit the shells one by one. well last night the cracking and spitting was interfering with my efforts to conquer halo2 on legendary mode, and i got a little lazy.

    i started swallowing the shells. just chewing those fuckers up whole, into a nasty paste that tastes pretty much like salty wood. as i said, i was stoned, and battling aliens, and i wasn't really paying attention to what i was doing. well apparently i swallowed a few to many of the shells...

    because i just took such a painful shit, i thought a monster was trying to claw his way out of my asshole. i shit splinters. a big solid massive shit wrapped in barbed wire.

    i almost cried.

    those fuckin things should have a fuckin warning label on em. although i guess i'm the only person dumb enough to swallow things that pretty much have the same consistency as tree bark.

    ^ :cry2: ^
  2. sarcasm

    sarcasm Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 30, 2003 Messages: 3,352 Likes Received: 35

    edit: yeah, what seems to be the obvious, is the obvious
  3. YoTeddyFinger!

    YoTeddyFinger! New Jack

    Joined: Jan 23, 2005 Messages: 70 Likes Received: 0
    mmmmmm... sunflower seeds
  4. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    hahaha! when i think of split sunflower seeds i imagine big ol' crab claws.
    i guess i was right, in a real shitty way. ha.... considering your fondness for shit, as soon as i was halfway through the story i knew the outcome. A+
  5. haunts

    haunts Member

    Joined: Dec 23, 2004 Messages: 297 Likes Received: 0
    i think this falls under the catagory of learning from other peoples mistakes
  6. the_gooch

    the_gooch 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: May 15, 2002 Messages: 11,566 Likes Received: 431


    best quote ever!
  7. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

  8. Pfffffffffft

    Pfffffffffft Moderator Crew

    Joined: Feb 16, 2004 Messages: 15,347 Likes Received: 683
    this quite possibly THE funniest story i have read on 12oz in a loooong time...i can just picture the look on your face when you were hypnotized in the game and just chewing up those seeds....

    then the look on your face when you tried to shit them out......ahahhahahahaha only a KNIGHTBAT^o^....good stuff!!
  9. perhap

    perhap Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2004 Messages: 390 Likes Received: 0
    so, this is the second time you've done this?
  10. duh-rye-won

    duh-rye-won Member

    Joined: Aug 8, 2001 Messages: 580 Likes Received: 2
    yeah, i kinda did it before, a long time ago, but not to this extent.

    not even close.
  11. »§ÜGÅR«

    »§ÜGÅR« Senior Member

    Joined: Aug 16, 2003 Messages: 1,519 Likes Received: 0
    im sorry quitster, i really could NOT help but laugh at you.

  12. Grimes

    Grimes Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 11, 2004 Messages: 5,161 Likes Received: 195
    i just choked on my food while reading this shit,haha,damn homie,how could you slip up like that?i mean being high and all is understandable,but damn,swollwing them shits
  13. fermentor666

    fermentor666 Veteran Member

    Joined: Sep 27, 2003 Messages: 8,152 Likes Received: 15
    I thought this was gonna be how you threatened your co-workers again. What ever happened with that?
  14. mackfatsoe

    mackfatsoe Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 6,532 Likes Received: 168
    Eating an entire bag of flaming hot cheetos in one sitting will give you spicy poo, which is damn uncomfortable.

    but iquit takes it to the next level.
  15. TresOne

    TresOne Member

    Joined: May 23, 2002 Messages: 447 Likes Received: 2
    I thought i was the only one to be at the mercy of the hell-shits that come from eating whole spitz. Worst part is, i wasn't even high..

    I've eaten a bunch of those wierd little black, wood-type things in the spitz bags, and they must be made of fucking stone, cause they come out the other end in the exact same condition they went in as...