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Leland Palmer

MOATY IT'S ME GAZZA, I'VE GOT SOME CHICKEN A CANNA LAGER AND COUPLA FISHIN ROD

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I don't know if the tale of Raoul Moat has made the news at all over the Atlantic, but in the UK it's pretty much been the main agenda for the last week or so. Basically some goon looking guy got released from prison on the 2nd, the next night he turns up at his ex's house and shoots her and her new man (he dies, she survives). Everyone just thinks this is the general UMAD ex boyfriend story but police can't find him. Anyway the next night he shoots a policeman sitting in his car and goes on the run, sparking a huge manhunt around the north east of England.

 

raoul-moat.jpg

 

He sends the police a 49 page letter (fuck knows how it was 49 pages) basically saying fuck da system and that he's not going to stop trying to kill police till he's dead. The manhunt gets pretty serious after that and they find his car outside some pretty little tourist village and completely seal it off with roadblocks and stuff, bring in the helicopters and even a fighter jet with thermal imaging and stuff.

 

Police-snipers-search-for-009.jpg

 

After a week they find him right under their noses walking beside a river in the village and there's a stand off for hours

 

Armed-police-officers-att-006.jpg

 

Anyway, that's just some background. The real reason for the thread is that while he's being negotiated with one of Englands best footballers of the 90s Paul Gascoigne (aka Gazza) hears about it and apparently has know raoul for years so shows up to try to help and gives this radio interview. Bear with it for the first minute and a half where nothing's really happening.

 

 

In the end moaty got hit with a couple of tazers and shot himself dead. It's a damn shame they didn't let Gazza in to help. rip

 

gazza.jpg

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Wasnt Gazza in the paper for running himself over or something afew weeks back?!

 

People were rockin Moaty face masks all round London the other night, someone was handing them out.

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they boy went oot with a bang though. spendin' yir last hours gettin' drunk, fishing with gazza eating a chicken sandwich... better than any last meal.

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Matey is fucking waaaaaaaaaaaasted.

 

"He's killed someone which ah... is not nice really"

 

I have never heard of this Gazza character in my life my he is quite clearly the best bloke in the entire world. He fucking drove all the way to where matey is under siege and tried to go in there with beer, chicken, a bathrobe and some fishing rods. What's insane is he would actually be successful rather that what did happen. Damn shame. What a legend.

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What I've been wondering all day is, what form of chicken did Gazza bring for Moaty? Was it a family bucket from KFC? Or some satay sticks? Or some raw breasts? Some of his nan's left over roast? This needs to be addressed.

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So dude was basically UMAD and couldn't fucking cope.

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it's a good job stuart pearce or chris waddle didnt turn up. theyd be useless in a shoot out situation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:D

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What did he do to get locked up in the first place?

 

Some unrelated assault or something, I can't remember exactly.

 

Gazza is an absolute legend, always doing some funny shit.

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What I've been wondering all day is, what form of chicken did Gazza bring for Moaty? Was it a family bucket from KFC? Or some satay sticks? Or some raw breasts? Some of his nan's left over roast? This needs to be addressed.

 

nigga please, you know fine well that gazza's gonna be on some lidl finest shit.

 

on another note. i don't think that's actually his daughter. it's his step daughter or something. i mean, look at the fuckin' two and eight o' the cunt. there's no way he could produce something half as good looking as her...

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I was gonna post the Moaty story was surprised no one else had, I was laughing when he declared war on the police, shame he didn't fulfill that promise.

 

Was in the news constantly but hearing Gazza turn up at the last moment had me laughing my fucking ass off, Gazza is clearly a lunatic and you gotta love him for it /nh

 

Was funny because the police were wandering around dressed like fucking Rambo had said he was after them, groups of them cowering behind ballistics shields and getting armoured cars sent over from Northern Ireland, dude was hiding in the drains hahah

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heh heh heh^

 

 

on a much much more serious note; who the fuck let gazza oot the loony bin...

 

that boy could do more damage than any roid raging nutter with a gun surely...

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Stories like this make my day, the world needs more Moaty's and Gazza's I swear.

 

I dont know about you, but going out fishing, drinkin beer and eating chicken with a nutty futbol star is about the most ballin way to go out I can think of.

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