nsmbfan Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 This fuck head I work with came over and shook my hand all "buddy buddy" like yesterday. I guess I was off my guard and didn't catch onto his trickery. THE MOTHERFUCKER WIPED HIS BALLS AND ASS WITH HIS HAND BEFORE SHAKING MY HAND! I was eating leftover halloween candy at that same time. I got him back doing the same thing, but wiped my fingers under his nose "hitler" style. He is perfectly healthy, but.... TODAY I WAKE UP AND PISS OUT OF MY ASS AND I CAN'T KEEP FOOD DOWN. AND I HAVE THIS RAGING HEADACHE AND SORE THROAT. Should I just fucking kill this fool right now? This deserves way worse than an ass beating. I want to make this dumb fuck drink hemlock, or give him hepatitus or some shit. How should I get my revenge? discuss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HydrogenPeroxide Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Please see the title of this thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonkerock Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 dump in a bag, hide it in his desk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watson Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 personally i would vote for cutting his throat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
...HSAMSnoytiC Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 you got pwned 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ignition Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Tell that dude to wash his germ infested ass first...damn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 definite beatdown. baaaaaaad. what a piece of shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyMind Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 These threads never end in merkings. I hope you buck the trend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Rape that fool American Me style. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cymatics Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 You should MERK him, not MURK him. Give him a good ol' merkin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishCarBombs Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 give him an apple with razor blades in it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOOGLE? Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 make sweet love to him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ink face Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercer Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 I honestly would get extremely violent for about 3 minutes and see what happens. Wouldn't make a thread about it though, big brother is watching, now you done fucked up your chances of getting away with it.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOOGLE? Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 SLOW SWEET LOVE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Pick a drawer in his desk which locks. Take an enormous diarrhetic shit in said drawer, then bust the lock after you close it. He'll go insane looking for the source of the smell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOOGLE? Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 LIGHT SOME CANDLES Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold_hearted Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 fuck shitting in his desk shit on his head... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Introduce him to this guy, and tell him to eat the candy and watch some cartoons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 you got pwned ^^ 1st let me restate the obvious, lololol!! That's fucked up & you should have punched him in the face right away. Since you're plotting revenge though here's one I've thought of for a bit- poison ivy/oak/sumac. Hopefully you have woods near you. Go bag up some of that shit while wearing gloves. Probably you have to do it the day before work or else get the rusty colored vines. Then when he's not around, rub that shit all through his jacket, or over the receiver on his phone, etc., etc. Remove leaves. Sit back & enjoy the show. If you don't like that, the other idea that comes to mind right away is to get to work before him and wipe some doodoo on the ear and/or mouth piece of his phone. Not a ton so he smells it right away, but just the right amount. Ring his phone as he comes through the door and watch him put that shit right up in his ear/mouth. Most people aren't checking their receiver/mouthpiece, especially if there phone is ringing as they're coming in. Works well w/ vaseline or lotion for a regular office prank too. Have fun. Ideas copyright pending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 BTW, congratulations, you now have hepatitis C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the graff giraffe Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Pick a drawer in his desk which locks. Take an enormous diarrhetic shit in said drawer, then bust the lock after you close it. He'll go insane looking for the source of the smell. this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 My boy Mike was painting a simple one time and I came up behind him and rubbed my hand all over his face, after wiping my sweaty balls on it. He freaked the fuck out and rubbed dirt into his face, which he thought would somehow make it better Me and HATER laughed for a good 10 minutes straight, I couldn't breathe it was so bad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted November 5, 2009 Author Share Posted November 5, 2009 i was going with the visine in the morning coffee, to make him shit himself uncontrollably, but then someone told me that would possibly kill him. dude weighs 300lbs and has blood pressure problems, i don't give a fuck though he can die sitting on the toilet like Elvis. if I get the pamela anderson tommy lee disease, there's a whole list of motherfuckers that better watch out. and fuck big brother, i'll just go to mexico. God's blind spot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 spider man him. infront of an audience if possible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TripleSuplex Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 ACID TO THE FACE AFTER WORK WITH A MASK ON OR BASEBALL BAT TO THE KNEES WORKS ALL THE TIME HIDE ALL IDENTIFYING MARKS OF YOURSELF sorry for caps Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ufgators09 Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 i can't believe you went out like that shuda waited in the parking lot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GucciCondom Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Where the fuck do you work that this would be an acceptable action for someone to take? I can't comprehend how you could let something so vile pop off. I would have fucking shattered my hands bludgeoning him. And then grabbed the nearest phone and started smashing him with that until he needed a closed casket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 i don't get it. it seems to be a trend to do gross shit to your friends, rub your balls on their face, shit in the food they eat, etc. i think this is straight up gay. pranks like this are for people you don't like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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