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Pfffffffffft

coffee shits

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are the hardest in the world to hold back.

 

 

i was in my car today (in traffic) and thought FOR SURE i was gonna shit my shorts.

 

i was squeezing my cheeks together so hard and broke out in the worst sweat...

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I had a hangover-coffee shit to hold back last week and I

was on a city bus approx. 10 mins from home.

I almost cried for joy when I made it safe to the thrown

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Lol. I remember in high school riding home w/ a friend who just ate a whole bag of chocolate covered coffee beans, dude almost squirted hershey fire in his pants lol. Coffee is bad enough, add chocolate, percolate for a minute, and run for the toilet.

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I don't drink coffee often but when i'm staying awake from the next day into the next day, I cave in and have a latte.

5 hours later and my pee smells like coffee

like a fresh brewed pot

 

one of the many reasons why i'm not big on coffee

anyone else have that problem?

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SEEEEEE!!

 

TO ALL THAT DISSED THE THREAD ABOUT CRAPPING YOUR PANTS-

THIS WHUT IM BE TALKIN' BOUT!

 

ORIGINAL ROCKSTAR AND COFFEE DO IT TO ME

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@ Eliza, That happens to me every time I drink coffee, today for example I drank a small regular and while taking a piss I got that hot brewed smell of coffee.

 

I'm not a coffee regular but when I do drink coffee it has to be a small one because medium/large I begin to feel bad half way through the day.

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today the problem isnt so bad. but i do recall the first time i ever had coffee, it was one of those starbucks frapuccino (spelling) drinks. had one on the bus on the way to high school, and within roughly 30 minutes of getting there i had to go straight to the bathroom "dumb and dumber style". not much fun, especially since i hate public bathrooms and the ones in high school were awful. never really had a problem since. seems like if you have coffee all the time, like most people do, your stomach adjusts accordingly.

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Don't drink coffee, but my bowels are a mess

 

Usually I hafta rush to the bathroom after eating, sometimes even in the middle of doing so. Alot of these are close call, almost shit my pants type situations

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the other day i had a bad case of fiery ass

 

wooo my god i ate hella habenero salsa, cuz i was grybbin at the hommies house...

dude made some bomb fuckin carnitas...so after about 8 tacos...i called it quits cuz my

stomach was making noises and shit...the beegees as people call it (BG's)

 

and i knew i was gunna wake up the next day take a shit...but i under estimated the

burning sensation that ensued...it was one of those times (idk if anyone else can relate)

where it burns soooo....bad that you dont wanna get up...or even wipe...cuz if you wipe

it speads the heat...so i sat there for like 35 minutes after shitting in fear of wiping

i started to sweat perfusely...i finally gave in after the door bell rang...

 

but i was walking all wierd the rest of the day

 

kinda like someone sodomized me with a tire iron

 

/NH

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Coffee drinking = coffee smelling pee here.

Asparagus does that to you too- gives you horrid smelling pee.

 

I'm glad we've had this chat.

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i dont drink coffee cuz i have to run

at any given time during the day.

and that shit will dehydrate you twice

as fast. so if i do drink coffee i have

to drink like 4 bottles of water.

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I don't drink coffee pretty much for this reason, plus I started to get really bad stomach aches from it.

 

One time I watched my friend drink a ten shot mocha then spend about an hour simultaneously pooping his brains out, gagging, groaning and sweating...not exactly the picture of health.

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I havnt drank any coffee since 99

pretty much because it fucks my stomach completely up

 

my bowels are a mess too

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...Just about to break out the cafetiere and pop 3-4 expresso's before an online interview, hope the Oz wont be playing on my mind, leading me to shit myself mid speech..

 

But for real, coffee and cigarettes = Mad TP.

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I hate tv shows these days. Their worthless to watch unless you have seen like the entire season. so pretty much if your not a fanboy then theres no point to watch half the shit on television. WTF is up with that, also they put commercials in comcast on demand movies.. WTF

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